


Haunted

by swoopingisbad



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Past Relationship(s), Past Torture, Romance, mostly canon, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-03-18 13:19:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 52,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3571109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swoopingisbad/pseuds/swoopingisbad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evelyn Amell has a troubled past. She was there when the Ferelden Circle, Kinloch Hold, succumbed to Uldred and his blood mages, though thankfully saved by the Hero of Ferelden. After the Mage Rebellions, she found herself heading West to Haven, to the Inquisition, hopefully to help close the Breach and find one of the few remaining members of her family left. Hawke. Varric Tethras is well known as the best friend of the Champion, and potentially knows the woman's location. She had not realised that joining the Inquisition meant facing a certain part of her past she had long thought buried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Dragon Age Fan-fiction so any comments are appreciated! I'm going to try and get a balance between serious and...not serious parts. Hope you enjoy it!

Evelyn Amell was running for her life. Her footsteps thudded against the stone floor, her eyes were frantic as she dodged a falling body. She did not know if they were dead, though they soon would be. Evelyn could feel the heat emanating from the rage demon, no doubt about to prey upon the poor person she’d run by. She couldn’t stop to help. She wanted to, but fear was pumping through her veins, like ice flooding her body. She flicked her head round and felt a burst of relief. He was still there, still behind her. He had not fallen to the demons and blood mages. Jumping over yet another body, the thought sickening her, all those mages and templars, her friends; dead or corrupted. She needed to stop. Her lungs were aching, her muscles aching and her head was beginning to feel woozy.

 In a split second decision, she threw herself into a nearby room. She could only hope it was empty. To her relief, her prayers were answered and she collapsed, gasping for air as the door slammed behind her by a templar. She quickly cast a barrier around the door using the last of her strength. The templar slid down the door, he too breathing heavily. His concern however, was only for the mage before him. His eyes searched her body for any wounds, and her eyes from any signs of corruption. She stared back at him determinedly, she too, looking over him. Satisfied, he breathed a small sigh of relief, closing his eyes as his head leaned back against the door. Evelyn tried to fight off the thoughts and emotions reeling around in her mind. She needed a clear head, to protect herself from corruption. She pressed her hands to her temples, focusing on her breathing.

“Evelyn?”

Evelyn’s eyes snapped open, her first name sounded unfamiliar coming from him. Usually it was Amell but now was not the time for formalities. She found the templar sat inches away from her, his copper eyes trained on her, “Cullen, we need to get to Irving and Greagoir. The Circle’s falling, and they’re the only chance of survival.”

Cullen’s expression displayed how Evie felt; total and utter horror. They’d lost the others shortly after the attacks started. Clarissa, Lenora, Henley, Ser Hadley all but disappeared as they had fled the Mage Quarters, and...Thomas and Ser Morris. Evie’s eyes scrunched up as she fought off the memories of their deaths. A single tear fell down her cheek, instantly brushed away by the gloved hand of Cullen. She looked up at him through her eyelashes, the templar now masking his fear. He pulled her into his arms, his chest plate cold against her cheek. She clung to him desperately, her arms groping him.

“C-cullen,” She stammered her voice shaking with fear, “I’m scared. Please...please don’t let me become one of them.”

“I would die before I let that happen.”  
His voice was strong, confident, much more so than he felt but he could not afford to be scared. For her sake. Evie took a deep breath, trying to stifle her cries. Cullen’s words gave her faith, hope. As long as he was there, she was safe. She looked up at him and somehow managed a small, thankful smile.

They hid in that room, which was no more than a storage room, recuperating their strength for little over an hour. Evie’s barrier protecting them from the blood mages and demons that awaited outside. For a while, Evie wondered if they could ride out the chaos in this room, awaiting rescue. Though, deep down, she knew that was unlikely. Her fears were confirmed as a loud thump caused the two to jump to their feet. Evie’s breathing quickened as her heart hammered in her chest, blood pumping through her ears.

“They’re going to break down the door,” Cullen said, mostly to himself, “Oh, maker…”

“We need to get to Irving.”

He turned to Evie and grabbed her shoulders rather roughly, his eyes searching her face for some form of a plan.

“We need to get to Irving,” She repeated, speaking with urgency. “He was in a meeting in the Harrowing chamber. Maybe if we’re lucky, Greagoir will be there too, and Wynne, she was there. It’s not far. We can make it.”

“I’ll go first,” He ordered, his hands in a tight grip on her arms. “Take out...whatever is outside, you stay right behind me. We’ll head straight for the stairs. Okay?”  
Evie nodded slowly, numbly. Had she been in a more fit state of mind, she would’ve insisted she go first with some form of ranged spell, to rid them of any immediate danger. She jumped, another thud crashing into the door. Sweat began to drip down her forehead as she panicked. She glanced up at Cullen, his face focused on the door, a hard, determined expression upon it. With a shaky grip, she held her staff out just in time for the door to come off its hinges, falling to the floor. Cullen jumped to action, he dispelled the blood mage’s magic, and swung his sword into the mage without second thought before fleeing the room. Evie’s eyes widened in horror at the brutality, but it was what he was trained to do. This was what templars were for, and they were fighting for their lives. She electrocuted the pride demon heading for Cullen, and took off after him.

The hallway was in a worse state than it had been the hour previous. Bodies littered the floor, mages, templars, demon remains, skeletal remains. Necromancy. The blood mages had turned to raising the dead too. She did not dwell for long, Cullen calling her name, running for him. They were not far from the Harrowing chamber. They could make it. Cullen called to her again, this time in alarm. She, foolishly, stopped to look behind her. Several demons were heading for her, a blood mage in tow. She froze one of the demons, firing flames at another, but it did not slow them. She shouldered her staff and ran with all the energy she had left. But it was as if Cullen was not getting any closer. His hand held out for her. The blood mage cast a wall of ice in front of her, halting her in her tracks. Cullen was running towards her, his sword raised. With all her remaining mana, she raised her staff and slammed it into the ground, sending earthquake like tremors through the floor. The ice behind her shattered, no longer barring her path, and the blood mage fell to his knees, unable to stand. The remaining demons however still moved towards her, deterred only a little by the tremors. Cullen grabbed her wrist, pulling her along but one of the demons sent a spell towards her, knocking her out of the templars grasp and to the floor. An ear-piercing scream was ripped from the mages throat as she fell to the floor, the demon inches away from her. Cullen had fallen too, and he was shuffling away from her, no longer able to mask his fear and crying out in horror. The demon overcame her, and Evie could feel her energy fleeing her as the other demons attacked her. Pain was shooting through every nerve in her body. She was becoming smothered by them. Evie reached out for Cullen, her hand shaking with the effort.

“Cullen,” She cried weakly, “Cullen. Help me.”

Time almost froze as she stared at the templar, his eyes and mouth wide in horror. Her crystal blue eyes bore into his, begging, pleading for his aid, for her life. She could see the devastation the blood mages had inflicted, the fire, the death, the decay, reflected in his glassy eyes, now devoid of all emotion. And it was that moment she knew, she was alone. The templar scrambled to his feet and began to run. In the opposite direction. Towards the Harrowing Chamber. Evie called out to him again, despite knowing her efforts were futile. Darkness began to encroach on the edges of her vision. The pain began to dull. She could still hear the sounds of Cullen’s footfalls, his armor clanking as he ran. Away from her. The last of her energy fled from her body as the darkness overcame her and she uttered her last words.

“Cullen…”


	2. A Buried Past

 A lone figure rode up to the wooden gates of Haven, once the sanctuary for pilgrims visiting the Temple of Sacred Ashes, now home of the Inquisition. The woman dismounted smoothly, meters from the gates, taking the horses’ reins in her hand. Her other hand tightened around her cloak, pulling the material closer as it threatened to billow behind her in the cold nights’ wind. She glanced up above at the great Breach in the sky, the green reflecting her eyes, illuminating her face. The Breach sent shivers down her spine. The Fade so close. Too close for her liking. She tore her gaze away and walked cautiously towards the gate, where two guards stood watch.

“Halt, who goes there?” said one of the guards.

“I’m here to see Varric Tethras. I know the hour is late, but would it be possible to fetch him?”

The guards exchanged looks before one of them nodded, abandoning his post to seek out Varric. The woman and the guard waited patiently in silence, the woman occasionally tending to her horse or glancing up at the Breach uncomfortably. The guard did not blame her. The Breach was unnerving, especially at close proximity.

“Andraste's’ tits, you’d best have a good reason for waking me, human.”  
The woman’s face broke into a smile as the guard returned, a dwarf by his side. A very unhappy dwarf. He had been sound asleep before the guard had roughly awoken him with news a woman had demanded to see him.

“Oh don’t worry, I do.” The woman replied warmly, lowered her hood and dropping the reins of her horse momentarily.

A similar grin broke out onto the dwarf’s face and he strode past the guards, his arms wide, “As I live and breath, Evelyn Amell.”

Evie bent down to embrace Varric, wrapping her arms tightly around him, “Sorry for the rude awakening but I didn’t fancy waiting out here til morning. It’s bloody freezing.”

Varric laughed, pulling away, and Evie straightened up. He took a moment to study her carefully, she was very much the same woman he had met all those years ago. The brilliant blue eyes; enchanting though they were, one could see the woman had endured many hardships in her life for her eyes contained wisdom beyond her years. The dazzling smile that somehow made the world seem bright, even at the darkest of times.

“This way m’lady,” He bowed, extending an arm towards Haven village.

“Oh but my horse-”

“I’ll take it to the stables, Miss Amell,” The guard said, already taking the reins in his hand.

“That is much appreciate Ser, thank you,” Evie said politely, nodding to the guard in thanks before stepping inside the village walls, Varric behind her.

“What brings you to Haven?” Varric asked conversationally, as he led Evie towards a number of wooden cabins.

Evie did not answer him at first, she was too busy taking in Haven. The village was rather quaint considering it harboured the Inquisition. The small wooden cabins, the chantry building standing tall in the back, the series of small fire pits with embers still burning, all covered in a thin layer of snow. They came to a halt outside one of the cabins and Evie realised she had not replied, “I came to find you.” She looked towards the door, “This yours?”

“Yeah, you can stay here tonight, I’ll see to it you get your own in the morning. That is if you’re staying?” Varric opened the door and indicated for her to step inside.

Evie knocked her boots against the wooden door frame, ridding her soles of snow before stepping inside. The cabin was rather small, but it warm, a fire crackled away in the corner. Piles of papers and books littered Varric’s desk in the corner of the room, clearly the Inquisition was keeping him busy.

“I was hoping to stay,” Evie replied, taking a seat on the sofa in the corner of the room and dropping her pack to the floor, “If you’ll have me.”  
The dwarf laughed, shutting the door behind him, “Of course. Now why, pray tell, did you need to see me? Is it my stunning good looks, or my charming personality?”

Evie chortled, “It’s definitely the chest hair.”

Varric grinned, pulling a chair up from his desk, “Of course.”

“I actually am looking for Hawke,” Evie admitted, “And Carver. They are the only family I have left.”

“So you didn’t come to just to see me, I’m heartbroken Twinkles,” Varric said, an amused glint in his eye.

Evie rolled her eyes, though a grin remained on her face, “And, like I said, if you’ll have me. I want to help the Inquisition. This mage-templar war is bloody stupid, and that Breach needs closing. I feel awfully uncomfortable with the Fade open to the world.”

“Me too, Twinkles, me too. And I assure you, the Inquisition will be honoured to have you. We can see Josephine first thing in the morning.”  
“Thank you Varric, do you...do you know where Hawke is?”

Varric’s smile dropped and he sighed leaning forward in his chair, his arms resting across his legs, hands drooping between his knees, “I’m...I don’t. She disappeared on me not long after the Kirkwall rebellion. She hoped to divide Divine Justinia’s forces, away from Kirkwall. I’m sorry... it’s probably not what you want to hear.”

Evie’s heart sank, though she had known it was a long shot, she had still hoped Varric had known the location of her second cousin. “And Carver?”

“He’s still a templar, last I heard, helping Kirkwall’s City Guard maintain some form of order.”

At least that was something, Evie thought, but Kirkwall was rather far away. It had taken her weeks before to reach the city, “Then I shall write to him. Hopefully I can arrange something with him. Perhaps he knows Hawke’s location.”

“Maybe,” Varric replied, though he looked uncertain. He yawned widely, stretching out, “I don’t know about you but I need sleep, especially after being rudely awakened.”

Evie grinned sheepishly at the dwarf, “Sorry about that.”

Varric waved her off and got up, and sat beside her on the sofa, “You can take the bed.”

“No, no, no,” Evie refused, shaking her head, “I’m the one who’s intruded. Please Varric, I’ll be fine here.”

“What sort of gentleman would I be if I let a lady sleep on the chair?”

“Varric…”

He sighed in defeat and got to his feet, “Fine. But only because I know you are as stubborn as Hawke, and I am too tired to argue.”

Evie grinned in victory and lay down upon the soft cushions. Varric’s snoring soon echoed through the room, sending a small smile across Evie’s face. It was comforting to be back in the company of a friend, something she had not experienced since the mage rebellion. She downed the liquid swiftly, pulling a face at its bitter taste. In the warmth of the fire, she soon found her eyes drooping, and sleep overcame her.

***

Varric woke Evelyn the next morning, and after freshening up, the pair stepped out of the cabin to head up to the Chantry.

“Ah Varric, didn’t know you had it in you.”

Evelyn turned at the sound of a deep, rumbling voice to see a Qunari. He was a good head or so taller than her, with broad shoulders, an eyepatch and a rather smug smirk on his face. Varric rolled his eyes, whilst Evelyn blushed a bright red.

“What you think Varric and I…” She gestured vigorously between herself and Varric, not knowing exactly how to respond.

The Qunari nodded, his smirk widening, amused by her nervous reaction.

“Ewww Maker no,” Evie said quickly, waving her arms and scrunching up her nose, causing the Qunari to roar with laughter.

Varric raised an eyebrow at Evie, “Say that faster Evie, really. Don’t concern yourself with my feelings. Perhaps with a little

disgust in your tone.”

Evie’s eyes widened as she realised just how she had sounded, “Oh Varric. No I didn’t mean- I just. He thought…” She sighed as Varric joined in laughing with the Qunari. “Ah shit.”

“Bull this is Evelyn Amell, an old friend of mine,” Varric introduced as Evie tried to cover up her embarrassment, “Evie, this is the Iron Bull. Part of the Inquisition, he owns a company called the Chargers.”

“Pleasure,” Evie said politely, shaking the Iron Bull’s hand, “I would say I normally give a better first impression but…”

The Iron Bull gave a hearty laugh, “I’d say you gave a fine impression, Amell.”

“We’re just on our way to see Josephine,” Varric said, “So if you’ll excuse us.”

The Bull nodded, “I shall see you later then. I do hope you give Josephine a similar introduction.”

With a wink the Bull left, leaving an amused Varric and a rather mortified Evie.

“Oh Maker,” Evie sighed, placing a hand to her forehead in embarrassment, “I do hope my introductions fare better than that.”

Varric chuckled, patting her arm comfortingly, “Don’t worry. Josephine is slightly more...refined than Bull. Well, most people are.”

The two began to walk slowly towards the Chantry. Neither of them speaking, Varric allowing Evie to take in Haven and the Inquisition. It was so much more than she had imagined. She was impressed at how well the Inquisition had settled in Haven. People bustled around them, all busy with their own tasks and assignments. Many bid hello to Varric, and occasionally to her, a few inquiring as to who she was. It was clear Varric had rose high in the ranks of the Inquisition, and she studied him carefully as he talked with others, asking after their families, their own health, their work. He was always good with people.

“How did you find me?”

“Huh?” Evie had not been paying attention to her friend, her gaze drawn up to the Inquisition emblem hanging from the chantry.

“I meant to ask last night. How did you know I was here?”

Evie tried to reply but a soft voice spoke first, with a very clear Orlesian accent.

“Ah, it is good to see you again Lady Amell.”

Evie smiled warmly at the left hand of the Divine, and former companion of the Hero of Ferelden. She had changed much since their last meeting, though it had been several years ago. “And you too Sister Nightingale. It has been too long,” Evie greeted warmly as realisation dawned on Varric’s face.

“Indeed. I’m glad you have come to join us. I would show you around but I’m afraid I have some rather urgent matters to attend.”

“Don’t worry, Varric’s showing me around,” The women looked over to the dwarf, who was frowning, unhappy about being left out of the conversation, “We’re going to see Josephine is it?”

“Yes, you’ll love Josie,” Leliana replied for Varric, who huffed, “She is a dear friend from my time in Orlais.”

“I look forward to meeting her then.”

Varric looked up at Leliana, his arms crossed against his chest, “Would’ve been nice to know you two had been in contact,” He grumbled.

“I thought it would be a surprise,” Leliana said innocently, a small amused smile on her face.

“Is it not a nice surprise Varric?” Evie asked, teasing him, nudging his shoulder playfully.

Varric gave a derisive laugh, “As overjoyed as I am to see you dearest Evelyn, it would have been nice to have been informed you were even still alive after the rebellion.”

Evie’s smirked dropped from her lips and she smiled sweetly at him, “You were worried about me?”

“Of course I was,” Varric muttered softly, glaring at Leliana as her smirk grew, “You’re my best friends’ cousin, you two are practically sisters. So yes I was worried. I’ve seen what the rebellions did in the Hinterlands, many innocent people have lost their lives from this war.”

Leliana’s smirk had fallen now too, and spoke to Varric sincerely, “I am sorry Varric, that I kept our correspondence from you. I had not realised you were so concerned.”

Varric waved her off, all trace of worry leaving his face as he smiled broadly, “Doesn’t matter now. She’s here now, and she’s safe.”

“Aww Varric, I had not realised you were such a softy,” Evie grinned, though admittedly she was touched by the dwarf’s concern for her, “I wonder what Hawke would think…”

“Not. A. Word,” Varric growled and his finger pointing at both of them, “From either of you.”

“Of course not,” Leliana replied as Evie mimed locking her mouth shut and threw the imaginary key away over her shoulder.

“Good.”

“I shall leave you to introduce yourself to Josie,” Leliana excused herself, “Oh and Evie? If you have time later on come by and see me, I would like to hear what you have been up to since we last met.”

Evie smiled at the red head, and inclined her head, “Of course.”  
With another smile, Leliana walked over to a cluster of tents not too far from the chantry, which appeared to be her base.

“Leliana’s the spymaster for the Inquisition, though I’m guessing you already knew that since you contacted her first.”  
Evie groaned, “You’re going to keep bringing that up aren’t you?”  
“I am a little offended you didn’t try and contact me first.”

Rolling her eyes, Evie took her first steps into the chantry at Haven. It had been years since she’d stepped foot into a chantry, ten, to be exact. Her faith had been severely shaken after Uldred’s uprising, and demise, for what all knowing, all powerful God would allow the horrors she had witnessed. She used to find comfort in the Chantry at Kinloch Hold, every day setting time aside to visit and pray to the Maker. It was not until this moment that she realised just how detached she was from the Maker and Andraste, and how much she missed the comfort, the safety in the knowledge of a higher power. Or a benevolent one at least.

“Twinkles? You still with me?”

Evie snapped out of her own thoughts and saw they were stood before a wooden door. Evie presumed this was Josephine’s office, and sure enough Varric opened the door to reveal a lone woman.

“Josephine,” He greeted as they entered her office, “Do you have a moment?”  
“Of course,” The woman replied with a thick Antivan accent, looking up from her papers. She was rather stunning with dark hair wound into a braid at the back, olive skin and sultry brown eyes. Her gaze fell onto Evie, and she smiled, “And who is this?”

“This is my good friend Evelyn Amell, she is second cousin to-”  
“Hawke,” Josephine interrupted, “I do know a little of the Amell family. It is a pleasure to meet you, my lady,” She got to her feet, “I am Josephine Montilyet, Ambassador of the Inquisition.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Evie replied, inclining her head in respect.

“So what can we do for you Lady Amell?” She looked reproachfully at Varric, “And how come I was not informed prior?”

“Ask our dear Spymaster,” Varric sulked.

Evie ignored Varric, speaking to Josephine, “I am sorry, but I had spoken with Leliana prior to arriving here. I had presumed she’d let you know,” Josephine waved her hand in acceptance and Evie continued, “I was hoping to stay with the Inquisition a while, offer my services, if you’ll have me. I can offer my connections and money, being related to the Champion of Kirkwall has some advantages. Plus I can offer my...personal skills,” She held her palm out flat, allowing a small burst of magic to dance upon it.

Josephine smiled kindly, not in the least bit abashed by Evie’s magic, “The Inquisition does not turn away help, and would be honoured to have you, Lady Amell.”

“Thank you, I am honoured to be given the chance to help. Oh and please, I lost my rights as a noble many years ago when I joined the Circle, Evelyn or Evie will do just fine.”

Josephine’s smile grew, “Nobility is something one’s birthright, just as being a mage runs in your blood, Lady Amell.”

“I-thank you.” It was humbling to meet people who did not flinch at her magic, nor view her as second class for her gifts.

“Josephine, I’ve got them reports you-”

Even after ten years, she knew that voice. His voice. She slowly turned. Her heart leapt into throat, her chest tightened as her blue eyes met amber.

Her mind reeled with thoughts, images, emotions. He looked older, confident, not like the man she used to know. But at the same time she recognised the young, shy templar she once knew.

Cullen stopped dead in his tracks as he noticed the woman talking with his fellow advisor. His face drained of colour as she stood before him. He’d recognised those bright, crystal blue eyes anywhere. Her hair was no longer pinned up as it had been in the circle, instead falling in long dark waves down to past her shoulders.

Josephine looked thoroughly confused as the pair stood gawking at each other. Evie could not believe her eyes. He was here. Him of all people. The Maker had a sick sense of humor.   
Cullen couldn’t face her...this...it brought back all the memories. The Circle Tower. Everything came rushing to the forefront of his mind. Leaving her there. Abandoning her. Her terror filled face imprinted into his mind as she was swarmed by the demons. He thought she was dead. That he’d lost her. All those years spent wondering.

“I-you-,” The Commander fled the room, dropping his clipboard on the floor with a clatter.

Evie stood rooted to the spot, her gaze unable to tear away from the place where he stood. She’d long hidden her past, buried it deep within herself...and despite everything, she couldn’t bring herself to hate him for leaving her. He’d abandoned her when she need him most, when he was supposed to protect her, doing his job as a templar. She’d spent hours staring at her ceiling her quarters, angry at him, furious, but she could not hate him. No matter how much she wanted to. She’s couldn’t blame him either. She had never felt fear take over her, engulf her like it had for those days under the torture of Uldred and the demons. He had endured the torture far longer than she, watched as his friends died around him, tortured into insanity. Death was preferable than what happened to them, to all of them. Mages and Templars alike.

“Evelyn?”

Josephine’s voice sounded in the distance, her mind too preoccupied. Tears filled her eyes, and she hastily wiped them away. Only a few people knew of her past, her torture within the place she had once called home. And still for ten years, she had thought of him often.

“Evelyn? Miss Amell? Can you hear me?”

Evie remained completely unresponsive, trapped in her thoughts. Josephine knew something was drastically wrong, something the Commander and the mage shared. She quickly got to her feet, the chair scraping along the stone floor. Evie vaguely heard her footsteps as she left, hurrying towards the hall.

“Hey! Twinkles! You in there? Evie? Evelyn!”

Evie snapped out of her reverie to see Varric stood before her, an uncharacteristically worried look on his face, Josephine at his side, equally worried. Evie shook her head, turning away from the pair, unable to face them just yet and began pacing back and forth. The memories easily filled her mind as if she had not spent ten years burying them. The bodies all around her, the blood magic, the demons.

After a couple of minutes of watching her pace, Varric told Josephine to leave it to him, “Evie, what is it? Do you know Curly? The Commander?” Evie didn’t respond. “Evelyn!” Evie came to a halt, her distraught face whipping round to face Varric. “What in Andraste’s arse is wrong with you? You know Hawke would kill me if I don’t take care of you, and I don’t wish to face her wrath.”

Evie sighed, running a shaky hand through her hair, “Can we go somewhere? Like outside? I’m beginning to feel claustrophobic, I need to get out of here.”

“Sure thing,” Varric said, eyeing her uncertainly, “I know just the place.”

Varric lead her out of Josephine’s study, giving Josephine herself a nod of reassurance as they passed. He headed over to a door, the other side of the hall, Evie following. Opening the door, Varric encouraged Evie to enter, and followed her up the stairs before them. They climbed several flights until they came to a loft area.

“Here,” Varric opened up a hatch in the roof, and climbed out. Evie followed, Varric helping her out onto the roof.

The view was breathtakingly beautiful. Despite it’s dark creation and terrible purpose, the Breach was awe inspiring. It’s green glow cast down upon the mountains, upon Haven. The green reflected in the weapons of soldiers training down by the frozen lake, the windows of the cabins, the armour of the few templars posted by the gates. Varric waited patiently for his friend to speak, his mind reeling with ideas as to her’s and the Commanders’ past.

Evie breathed deeply and stared hard out into the mountains, determined to avoid Varric’s gaze, “You know I was a mage, right, at the Ferelden Circle?”

“Hawke mentioned it,” Varric replied casually, “Said you didn’t like to talk about it much.”

Evie nodded, swinging her legs back and forth on the rooftop, “For good reason.” Evie sighed, “Being a circle mage is something no one can ever understand, except for another circle mage of course. It’s something even an apostate like Hawke cannot understand. I was taken from my family when I was just eight years old. I spent my entire childhood, from the moment I arrive at the circle, being told about the dangers I posed to others, taught how to control the ‘monster’ that threatened to rise inside of me. I feared myself, and others, Varric, for a very long time. I was trapped not only in the circle, but within myself. But eventually I began to open up, to trust my teachers, my fellow apprentices….the templars.” Evie paused, tears blurring her vision, before whispering softly, “When all this happened, I remember I had not long graduated from an apprentice to a mage. It was a happy time for me. Until Uldred and Wynne returned from Ostagar. "

"Wynne? The Hero of Ferelden’s friend?"

Evie nodded, "Before she joined Tessa Cousland against the Blight, she was one of my teachers. A very good one at that. I think it was only a few days after they returned. There had been rumours of blood magic in the Tower. We hadn't realised how true they were. Not many knew about what truly happened at the circle, when the Hero of Ferelden came to recruit us...Ugh Maker this is hard." Evie hung her head, her hand pressed to her temples, "You gotta understand Varric, there’s only a few people in the entire world who know fully what happened, not even Hawke. And one of them just stormed out of Josephine’s office.”

“Ah….” Varric, for once, was at a loss for words. “Can I..um..can I ask what happened?”

“Give me a moment,” Evie said shakily. “I’ve never spoken to anyone about this in such great detail. If at all.”  
“Take your time.”

"Uldred was one of the senior mages, we trusted him, even the First Enchanter was deceived, and all that time he was plotting against us. I remember I was in my quarters, reading with a couple of my classmates, when I heard screaming and yelling. Cullen and a couple of the other templars burst in and I could smell the lyrium on them. I knew something was terribly wrong. Cullen had rushed to my side, and told me there were demons in the tower, and blood mages. The other templars and a couple of the mages barricaded the doors with furniture and enchantments. We all thought the tower was doomed, that we were lost. I felt guilt ridden as I heard the yells outside, but honestly, I was too scared to help. It did not take long for the demons and a blood mage to break in. Cullen told me to run but my feet wouldn't move, and I watched as one of my friends was killed by the blood mage, another possessed by a demon. The next bit is hazy," Evie clutched her forehead tightly between her thumb and forefinger, "I got separated from the other mages, it was just me and Cullen. There was so much death Varric. So many bodies…” She paused for breath, trying to calm herself, “I wanted to head to the First Enchanter, I knew he would save us. So we headed for the stairs to the Harrowing but a blood mage hit me with a spell and I fell, demons surrounding me. I yelled for Cullen, screamed for him. His horror filled face is permanently imprinted in my brain. He didn't help me. He ran. Left me to be killed or worse. Except I wasn’t killed. Uldred knew of Irving’s weakness for me, so he kept me, Maker, it was horrible Varric.” Uldred’s face came to the forefront of her mind, his eyes full of hate, a face she had come to hate with a passion she had never felt before. “He used me, tortured me to get to Irving to get him to submit to him. After days, Maker knows how many, the Hero of Ferelden saved us.” She let out a breath she had not realised she had been holding. She realised she more or less blurted out her story to him, though she wasn’t sure there was any other way she was able to tell it.

“I-I am so sorry Evie,” Varric said sincerely, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. The dwarf had never heard such a horrible story, and Cullen...

“It’s fine now,” Evie insisted, sniffing and wiping away her tears, “Well, it’s not fine. But I have put it all behind me. When the Blight was finished, I returned to the Circle. But I was not myself...I was broken. Haunted. By what I had seen, what I had felt. I couldn’t stay there anymore. Nightmares plagued me. Everything of that Circle reminded me of Uldred and his demons. Of Cullen. I travelled with Wynne for some time, we went to the College of Enchanters together, staying in Amaranthe on the way, where I got to meet Tessa Cousland again. And not long after that was when I got back into contact with Hawke. To try to escape the Circle altogether. Wynne helped me, she allowed me to leave. She knew I could not return to somewhere which haunted me so. She even promised to destroy my phylactery. But when I found you all, I realised I couldn't stay in Kirkwall. Because he was there. I couldn't face him still after all that time."

"So that's why you and Hawke argued," Varric realised.

"Yeah, she couldn't understand why I wouldn't stay with her."

"Why didn't you just tell her?"

Evie sighed deeply, she did feel relieved to actually have talked to someone about it. The senior mages, particularly Irving, had tried to get her to talk but she never did. She leaned back on, propping herself up with her elbows. It was growing darker, the sun almost disappearing from the sky.

"Honestly Varric, I don't have a sodding clue. I guess I felt it was my pain to bear, and I was scared of what I could’ve become. And Cullen...I understood why he left that day, but after, when the tower was saved, he told Greagoir none of us could be trusted. He wanted the Right of Annulment-"

"What's the Right of Annulment?"

"It gives the templars permission to kill all the mages in the tower, regardless of if they’ve become an abomination," Her voice shook as she spoke, her fists clenching, "Maker, there were children, innocent children, and he would've them all killed."

Varric could scarcely believe the Commander, someone who strived so hard to be good, would advocate the slaughter of innocent children.

"I never heard from him after,  he...he never tried to find me Varric." Tears dripped slowly down her nose and cheeks, her eyes red raw. The pain in her voice was unlike Varric had ever heard. It cut through him like a knife.

“Do you hate him?” Varric asked softly.

Evie shook her head, “Maker no. I thought I did for a long time, and to be honest I think I should,” She gave a watery chuckle, “I used to stare at the ceiling of my room, trying to hate him for what he did. I never could. I didn’t blame him for how he reacted, even with the Right. We were both young, he was new to the order. I can’t say I wasn’t angry, or that I’m sure I’ve even fully forgiven him, not just for the Right of Annulment, for leaving me, but for never coming to find me.” She looked over at Varric, her eyes blotchy. The dwarf realised he had never noticed how her eyes held the pain, the horror of her life.

“You should talk to him,” Varric said simply.

“I can’t,” She choked, “I can’t Varric.”

“What because facing him, would be like facing these memories you’ve repressed for so long?” The dwarf quipped.

This gave Evie paused for thought, and a small smile appeared on her face, “I hate it when you’re right.”

Varric gave a chuckle, the mood lightening considerably, though he wasn’t sure it could get any darker. “I’m always right, Twinkles.”  
“But what do I say to him? It’s been ten years!”

“The truth? Just tell him what you told me. You need to tell him how he made you feel.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, yes you can,” Varric encouraged, getting to his feet, offering her a hand, “You have to. How do you know he hasn’t been feeling exactly the same for all these years?”

“How are you so persuasive?” Evie asked jokingly, taking the dwarf’s hand.

“It’s a talent,” Varric flashed her one of his charming smiles.

“Before I tell Cullen, we ought to go see poor Josephine. I can imagine she’s rather confused.”

Varric nodded, “Yeah, we shouldn’t leave Ruffles in suspense.”

Evie rolled her eyes, “Do you have a nickname for absolutely everyone?!”


	3. The Shocking Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who's been reading, commenting and leaving Kudos!

 Evie awoke with a start, bolting upright in her makeshift bed on Varric’s sofa, panting heavily. Her vision swam and her eyes darted around the room, trying to get her bearings. A hand cautiously touched her arm and she flinched. Varric stood beside her, his eyebrows drawn together in a frown, and his lips moving, mouthing words, but she did not hear them. She closed her eyes tightly, visions of demons, blood mages and death flashed before her. She opened her eyes once again, but the images still remained. She blinked rapidly, to rid herself of them. It had been years since they had been this bad.

By now Varric was incredibly worried and, he hated to admit, a little scared of his friend. She looked practically possessed. Her eyes were fearful as she frantically searched the room for something, tears trailing down her cheeks. Once again, she squeezed her eyes tight shut, taking several slow, heavy breaths.

“Evelyn?”  
Her eyes snapped open at his voice, wet with tears, and she visibly sagged in relief, placing her head in her hands. “Oh thank the Maker,” She breathed out, drained by the nightmares, “I’m so sorry Varric. Sincerely so sorry. I hope I didn’t worry you too much.”

“You hope I didn’t-,” He gave an exasperated laugh, “Andraste’s great flaming ass, Evie! I thought you were possessed or something!”

Evie’s eyes widened in horror, “Ah shit, Varric, I can’t apologise enough, I-”  
Varric held up a hand, “Can you at least tell me what the fuck that was?”

“A nightmare,” Evie said simply before shaking her head, “No, that is...an inadequate way to describe it. Bugger! Umm...it’s more flashbacks of what happened at the Circle.” Realisation dawned on Varric’s face. “It seems, I was err...pretty broken from what happened there.

Or rather I still am. But fuck,” She pressed her face to her hands, “It has not happened in so long. So vivid. It has been years since I last had an...episode.”

Varric had no idea what to say, consoling people was not one of his stronger points. He whistled loudly, “I...wow. But you-you woke up and you were still unresponsive?”  
Evie gave him a sad smile, “It takes a little while for the visions to...leave me once I wake. I used to take a sleep draught of sorts when I was younger, it did not rid me of the nightmares completely but they were more manageable. That. Or,” She gave a dark chuckle, “Copious amounts of alcohol. I guess seeing Cullen,” Pain stabbed at her at the mere thought of him, “Brought those memories back, and so brought back my nightmares. I shall have to ask Adan if he has anything that will help,” She was more speaking with herself, speaking her thoughts out loud. “Varric?”  
The dwarf was staring at her, his lips forming a tight line and his eyes aflame. He was burning with hatred for the people who had done this to her. Ruined her life. She was so gentle, so kind, so undeserving of this continual torture. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but his voice still shook with rage, “Sorry Evie. I-” His shoulders drooped as he sighed, she did not need to be told how unfair this all was, how cruel it was that she had to suffer for another’s evil doings. Instead he smiled up at her, “I’m sure Adan will have something. That man has everything in that house of his. He even has a cream for nettle stings in unmentionable places.”

Evie’s face broke into a bright grin, a peal of laughter escaping her. It cheered Varric slightly, at least he could make her laugh. “Do I want to know exactly how you acquired this knowledge?”

“Probably not.”

 Another giggle.

“You should probably get some sleep,” Varric said after a moment of silence passed between the two, “Oh that is if you feel like you can…”  
Evie’s smile faltered slightly and Varric already regretted his words, “I...no I don’t think I will sleep anymore tonight. I might take a wander around Haven for a while.”

“I’ll come with you.”  
“No, please,” She insisted, “At least one of us should get some sleep. So please. I will be perfectly fine on my own. I promise.”

Varric did not particularly feel comfortable leaving her to wander Haven alone after what she had experiences but knew his words would prove fruitless against her. “If you’re sure?”  
“I am. I insist in fact,” She said surely, her voice firm.

With that she got to her feet and collected her cloak from the stand, wrapping it tightly around her. She opened the door a crack, cold air flooding into the room causing Varric to shiver. She turned her head towards him and offered him a soft smile, “Good night Varric. I hope your dreams are more pleasant than mine.”

***

Evie took a deep breath, and looked back where Varric, Josephine and Leliana stood nodding encouragingly. With a shaky hand, she gently turned the knob and opened the door to the war room. The commander was stood over the war table, his back to her, his arms resting on the desk. He was muttering to himself, so engrossed in his work, or so she thought. His mind was far from focused. One corner of her mouth tilted up in a small smile; he hadn’t changed a bit. She leaned against the doorframe, watching him closely. He had definitely matured physically since she’d last seen him, though he had only been a young man then, a templar fairly fresh from training. It had been years since she’d seen him. She wondered if he’d changed in other ways too. She hoped he didn’t have his same opinion on mages.

“Soooo,” She said teasingly, trying to keep her cool and not sound like the bundle of nerves she felt. “You’re Commander now.”

Cullen’s fists clenched on the edges of the table, his reports crumpling in his grip. His shoulders shook as he tried to control his emotions. How could she come in here like nothing had happened? Like they hadn’t spent ten years apart after what could only be described as experiencing hell.

“I. Thought. You. Were. Dead,” He replied through gritted teeth. He didn’t turn to face her. He couldn’t.

Evie felt the cold rush of shock run through her, he thought she was dead? For ten years he thought she had died. It explained why he never searched for her. “Cullen...I-”  
“For ten years!” He growled, his anger getting the better of him as he flipped the table in fury. He breathed heavily, finally turning to Evie. It startled Evie and she jumped back in fright as the table clattered with the floor, the pieces scattering across the floor. He immediately regretted his anger. It was not her fault, he was not angry at her. He bent down and picked the table back up, casting his gaze towards the scattered pieces; he would definitely regret that later. Evie watched as he sat back against the table, wearily, his head in his hands. As he spoke, his voice grew weaker and weaker until it was barely above a whisper. “I thought you were dead! I watched you….I watched you swarmed by those things. I watched you die.”

“I...I don’t know what to say. All this time I thought…” Evie breathed, “Oh I don’t know what I thought.”

Cullen’s eyes widened in realisation, “You thought I didn’t want to find you. That I didn’t care.”

Evie’s heart broke at the sound of the Commander’s voice, she felt guilt well up inside her. All this time, she’d been thinking the worst of him, when he had been mourning her. It didn’t change the fact he left her to die, or the Right of Annulment. But it did change her feelings about the past ten years.

“I guess I thought you hated me, were terrified of me, perhaps. I think that hurt more than anything, the thought that you were scared of me, hated me....”  
“Evie…”  
“I can’t believe you thought I was dead,” She said in disbelief.

“No one spoke of what happened, not even Greagoir. No one told me you were alive, and I never saw you again at the Circle, and I transferred soon after to Kirkwall, so I presumed the worst.”

“Well, I can safely say I never expected that,” She hesitantly moved from her spot, taking cautious steps towards him, trying to gauge his reaction, until she was beside him. She leaned back on the war table, using it for support. “I’m so sorry Cullen. I tried to write to you myself but I was so angry at you for many years. I was young, stupid, childish-”  
“No,” Cullen said firmly, “You had every right. I left you. I called for the Right of Annulment,” He buried his head in his hands in despair, “All those children…”

She reached over to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he shied away, flinching. Evie was taken aback, and a little hurt, a frown growing on her face.

“I’m sorry,” Cullen said instantly, “I just after everything…magic, mages...I still feel uneasy.”  
The frown melted from Evie’s face, her expression softening to one of pity, “I understand. I was scared of myself, my powers. For such a long time, I barely even used them,” She looked down at her hands, remembering the fear she had once felt. “I wish I’d wrote Cullen, I really do. But the longer I left it, the harder it was to put words to paper.”  
“I understand,” Cullen offered the mage a small smile, “I’m just glad you’re alive.”

Evie’s insides warmed at the sight of Cullen’s smile, offering him a much larger one in return, “I’m glad I’m alive too.” Cullen chuckled. “And I’m glad...I’m glad I came here. It’s been so hard having no one to talk to about...everything.”

Cullen’s smile dropped from his face, his mood changing instantly, his body tensing, “I don’t want to talk about it,” Cullen said sternly.

“But Varric said-”  
“You told Varric!” Evie flinched, moving away from the Commander as his temper flared, “Maker’s breath! Do you realise I don’t want people to know that side of me! I don’t want people to know about my past, I’m trying to put it behind me! I was doing fine until you came, and started bringing up memories I long wish I was rid of! Why do you even want to talk about it?!”

Evie felt anger welling up inside her, how could he act this way?! “Because I hadn’t talked to anyone about it in ten years! Ten years I’ve kept it hidden away! And believe it or not , I want to know why the fuck you left me to die! You abandoned me when I needed you most!”  
Something in Cullen snapped. He was seething, anger blinding him, he flung his arm out pointing to the door, “Get out! Get out of my sight!”

Tears of frustration, anger welled up in her eyes, falling furiously down her face, “I thought you might have changed from the man who would have willing sentenced children to death!” He flinched, his eyes filling with hurt, and Evie knew she would regret her words later, “But clearly I was wrong! I wish..I wish I’d never come here!”

“So do I!”

With that, Evie fled the war room, unable to stay any longer. She flung the door open and ran past Varric and the others, who had been waiting outside, ashamed of her tears. She shot through the Chantry as Varric called out to her but she ignored him, shoving the Chantry doors open. In her haste, she tripped down the stairs towards her cabin. Her skin stung as her palms scraped across the floor. People were beginning to stare and she quickly picked herself back up before people noticed her tear-stained cheeks. Once in Varric’s cabin, she began scrambling around, hastily packing her things into her bag. There was a knock at the door.

“Go away Varric,” Evie yelled at the door.

The door however, creaked open and Evie whipped her head round, glaring, “I said-”

Before her stood a man, a mage, his hair flaming red and his eyes a piercing green. Evie got to her feet, the man standing a good few inches taller than her, “Oh I’m sorry..I thought you were someone else.”

The man grinned, his smile friendly, easily adoring his face, “What has Varric done now?”

“What hasn’t he done?” Evie glowered whilst hastily wiping her cheeks on her sleeve.

He laughed, extending his hand, “I just ran into Josephine and she told me of your arrival so I thought I ought to come and introduce myself to our newest recruit, I’m Kristoff Trevelyan. Or if you prefer, the Herald of Andraste.”

Evie flushed with embarrassment, her anger and grief momentarily forgotten; she’d not exactly made a great first impression to the man who was to close the Breach. She shook the Herald’s hand nonetheless, “I’m Evelyn Amell, a friend of Varric’s. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

The Herald’s eyes flickered to her half-packed bag, “Are you going somewhere?”

“I-” She cast her gaze downwards, “I’m afraid I cannot stay. I shouldn’t have ever come here in the first place.”  
“Just what did Varric do?!” Kristoff asked half-joking, half-serious.

“Nothing. It’s not really Varric’s fault. I’m sorry, your grace, but it’s a long story.”

“Try me,” The Herald said, a small smirk on his face. He sat down on Varric’s bed, patting the spot next to him.

Evie half wanted to laugh, the Herald of Andraste wanted to have a heart-to-heart with her after meeting all of five minutes ago? But he was the Herald, she could not refused his request. Gingerly, she took a seat beside him.

“Now what exactly, has made you want to leave Haven hours after arriving?” Kristoff asked, the sincerity in his voice surprising Evie.

“I mean no offense, but I’m not sure I am ready to share this with someone I met five minutes ago,” Evie stated, flashing him a sheepish grin.

Kristoff laughed lightly, “I understand that. But if people are unhappy in my Inquisition I make it my business to know why. And I solemnly swear, no one outside this room will know what you’ve told me.”

Evie shook her head solemnly, “I am sorry but it’s just something very personal to me. An old wound I did not expect to be reopened.   
“Perhaps I could help?”

The man was nothing, if not persistent. Evie reluctantly told him a little of her time at the Circle, sparing him, and herself the telling of, the major details, skimming over the majority of Cullen’s involvement. She told him they shared a past, that he was there with her when the Circle was overrun and that she had not seen him since. Until now. Evie found that the Herald was from a Circle too, at Ostwick, and understood her feelings of fear towards herself better than Varric had, having experienced it all himself.

“Thank you for telling me this,” Kristoff said, placing a comforting hand on her arm, “I understand it must take courage to admit your feelings to me. But you feel better for it, no?”  
Evie was surprised, and relieved, to see he was right. She did feel better, perhaps better than she had truly felt in years, like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“As for Cullen-”  
The pair turned as the door opened to reveal a sheepish Varric, his eyes widening in surprise as he saw the Herald, “I didn’t realise you were up here, Freckles.”

Evie saw the Herald’s eye twitch in irritation of his nickname, “I just came to introduce myself to the newest recruit.”  
“Well, I wondered if I might have a word with her, if that’s okay with you?” He cast a knowing glance at Evie, his eyes filled with worry.

“It’s okay Varric,” Evie said, “He knows, well, everything.”

The dwarf’s eyes widened in surprise, “How?”  
Kristoff laughed, “She told me of course.”  
Varric rounded on Evie, “You told him? After knowing him ten seconds, when it took you years to tell me?”

“What can I say?” Kristoff grinned, “Must be my charming personality.”  
“Indeed,” Varric rolled his eyes before returning his focus to Evie, “Are you okay?” His eyes lay on the bags on her bed, “You’re leaving?”

“I-” Evie began.

“She was, not anymore,” Kristoff interrupted, getting to his feet and clapping Evie on the shoulder, “I’ll leave you two to talk, no doubt something needs my attention.” With a rolling of the eyes and a grin, he stalked out of the room, leaving the pair in an uncomfortable silence.

“So it didn’t go well, I take it,” Varric muttered.

“What makes you say that?” Evie said venomously, her anger returning, “He told me he wished I’d never come here. That he’d never seen me.”

“You know that’s not true,” Varric replied, sighing heavily, “It was things said in the moment.”

“Hmm,” Evie said dubiously, before deflating slightly, “You know, he thought I was dead Varric, that I’d died when he abandoned me in the Circle.”  
“Andraste’s tits!” Varric exclaimed in shock, “I guess that’s why he didn’t come looking for you then.” Varric looked at the woman before him with pitying eyes, he felt guilty, he should never have told her to talk to Cullen. He wasn’t all that good at this comforting thing, he was the witty member of their misfit group. “Cheer up Twinkles. I’d bet my Bianca, that Curly is sat right now in his office, beating himself up for what he just said.”

“He wouldn’t talk to me Varric about it, any of it. He was actually pretty pissed I’d told you.” She gave Varric an apologetic look, “Sorry. I hope I didn’t get you in shit with him too.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. I can handle Curly, he’s a just a giant teddy bear,” Varric waved her off, “He wouldn’t talk with you though. Huh. I suppose it took you ten years.”

Evie nodded, her anger ebbing away by the second, to be replaced by sadness, “I guess that’s true.”  
“You should try talking to him again. I think he’d want that.”  
Evie glared at Varric incredulous, “You are joking?! After it went so well this time. And I know I said I wasn’t angry but he wouldn’t even tell me why he left me that day.”

Varric smiled sadly, “Have you ever thought he might be tormented by that memory too? Imagine if it was the other way around, would you want to talk to him about how you left him?” She shook her head, “No. Regardless he still left me Varric, to die, or even worse, be corrupted.”

“I thought you said you’d forgiven him for that?”

Evie glared fiercely at the dwarf, huffing indignantly. Varric certainly was making her feel like a complete and utter prat. But she was determined to justify herself, “Fine, I get that and I get that it was heat of the moment, but he still said he wished I’d never returned, I think I’m entitled to be a little pissed at him.”

Varric shrugged, “That’s your decision Twinkles. Just don’t leave it too long.” A smirk grew on Varric’s face, much to Evie’s surprise, “I’d have though being reunited with your lover after ten years would be something to get excited about.”

Evie’s face turned beet red, and she grabbed the nearest thing to her, her shoe, and threw it at Varric. The dwarf ducked, roaring with laughter.

“He is not my lover!”

“Your reaction says otherwise,” Varric grinned, still laughing, “Come on. If you’ve finished brooding, I’ll introduce you to the others.”

“Does this place have a tavern, I could use a drink,” Evie gave an exaggerated sigh.

Varric gave another hearty laugh and clapped her on the back, “Couldn’t agree more.”

Evie didn’t know how, but the dwarf always had the knack for cheering her up.

***

“You excited? Your first assignment with the Inquisition?”

Evie grinned down at Varric in response, energy was pumping through her body. She had not left Haven since she had arrived two weeks ago, and was eager to be out in the field. The pair were waiting by the stables for the Herald, Dorian and the Iron Bull, who were to be joining them. The five of them were heading out to the Hinterlands to close rifts in the Fade which had been popping up, a routine mission apparently. Nonetheless, Evie was keen to show the Herald her prowess with magic, and prove she was worthy of the Inquisition.

“Have you got your potions?” Varric asked.

Evie snorted, “Yes mother. Picked a second batch up off Adan just yesterday.”  
“Oh. Well good.”

In truth, Evie’s ‘episode’, as she had called it, a couple of weeks ago had unsettled him. It worried him to no end. Hawke had told him to take good care of her family, once she had heard Evie had joined the Inquisition, and warned him if anything happened to her, Hawke would personally ensure he was not able to have any ‘little Varric’s’. Ever. Whilst Varric did not particularly want children, he was rather keen for his parts to remain intact.

Three distinct figures walked towards them, the Heralds hand glowing faintly through the mist.

“I see you two are up bright and early,” Kristoff commented once they had reached Varric and Evie.

“Someone was rather excited,” Varric hinted, looking at Evie, who smiled sheepishly.

“So I see,” The Herald smirked.

Evie shrugged, smiling brightly, “Not every day you get to adventure off into Ferelden with the Herald of Andraste.”

Kristoff scowled at her playfully, “A great honour I’m sure.”  
Even in the short time Evie had known him, she knew Kristoff did not particularly like his new title; he felt it undeserved she had gathered. Though Evie could safely say, she’d not met anyone as inspiring and more deserving of such a title since she’d met Tessa Cousland, the Hero of Ferelden.

The five of them headed into the stables to collect their mounts. Evie wondered for a moment just what horse could carry a Qunari. Her question soon answered. A huge Hart, possibly the largest Hart Evie had ever seen, trotted out of its stable, Iron Bull leading it outside. It’s hooves were twice the size of a regular mount, antlers stood proudly atop of its head. That was going to be a sight to behold, Evie thought, the Iron Bull riding a hart.

“Evie?”  
“Hmmm?” Evie turned to see Varric peeking around a nearby stall door, his face unreadable. “What’s wrong Varric?”  
“Could you maybe come and...helpmegetonmyhorse,” Varric mumbled the last part quickly, as if embarrassed.

“Sorry?” Evie frowned, walking over to him, “I didn’t hear you.”  
“Andraste’s arse, I’m only going to ask this once. Don’t make me ask again,” He grumbled, before sighing, “I need you to help me onto my horse.”

An evil grin slid onto Evie’s face and she spoke sweetly, “Of course Varric, would you prefer it if I simply placed you onto the horse, or would you prefer a leg up.”  
Varric groaned, running a hand of despair over his face, “You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

Evie blinked innocently, “I don’t know what you mean Varric. Now lift up or leg up?”  
“A leg up,” Varric said through gritted teeth, “I have to maintain some of my dignity.”  
Evie couldn’t help but snigger as she bent down, placing her hands in a cup for Varric to climb onto. Varric placed his foot in her hand and with a little push the dwarf was in the saddle, reins in hand. Without a word, Varric urged his horse out of the stable, hiding his red face from Evie.

“A thank you is usually customary,” Evie yelled after him, grinning broadly.

“To the Void with that!” He shouted back to her over his shoulder.

Shaking her head whilst laughing softly, Evie untied her horse, Chip’s, reins and with the grace and elegance Varric would never be able to achieve, climbed up into the saddle. She flashed Varric a smug smirk as she passed him, the five of them heading out of Haven, beginning their journey towards the Hinterlands.

After a fairly long, and Evie had to admit, rather boring journey, they had arrived, only the banter between the five of them saved her sanity. Once they had, it took them little over a week to close the newly opened rifts that had appeared in the Hinterlands. It would’ve taken less time had the Herald not agreed to take some flowers for an elf to his wife’s grace, or to find and herd a druffalo for one of the farmers. Though Evie and his other companions obviously did not mind, the druffalo herding was actually rather enjoyable, and hilarious. Evie admired these acts of kindness greatly, and realised just why the people of Redcliffe village loved him so. He was a breath of fresh air in these troubled times, his friendly and charming nature seem to come to him so effortlessly, with ease Evie was sure she could never manage.

Kristoff’s hand closed tightly, the green light fading as the rift closed, their final rift in the Hinterlands. Evie breathed a sigh of relief, lowering her staff. The five of them regrouped, heading back to camp. Varric and Kristoff strode ahead, both talking of Red Lyrium, leaving Bull, Dorian and Evie bringing up the rear.  

“Gotta say, I’m pretty impressed,” Iron Bull booms, clapping Evie on the shoulder, knocking her over in the process to which he roars with laughter.

“Thanks Bull,” Evie said happily, picking herself up and grinning up at the Qunari. For the first time in so long she felt...alive. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

“Not too bad? You’re looking at a Qunari killing machine.” He flexed his muscles, puckering his lips at Evie.

She snorted with laughter, before her face turned serious and she nodded, “Oh yes, especially the part where I had to save your ass from being frozen.” She then grinned cheekily up at him, mockingly blowing him a kiss.

“Admit it, you like my ass,”

“I...I...what?! No!” Evie flushed, unused to dealing with those sort of comments, especially when they were a little bit true.   
Iron Bull sniggered, “You’re as bad as the Commander.”

Evie’s smile dropped. Dorian groaned at Bull’s lack of tact and came to a halt, turning to face the pair, looking pointedly at Bull. The Herald’s inner circle all knew of Evie and Cullen’s argument, how could they not when they had been ignoring each other since her arrival, and there were still sore feelings on both sides. Tactfully, neither Varric or the Herald had divulged the details of their argument, though Josephine and Leliana had some idea.

“What?” Bull asked indignantly, frowning in confusion. “I-Oh.” He had caught the hurt look on Evie’s face, her eyes shining. “I didn’t mean-”

“It’s okay Bull,” Evie reassured him, steeling herself. She could not let them see her tears and she desperately tried to blink them away, “Honestly, it’s fine. I’m just going to go...and…” She did not finish her sentence, instead bolting for the camp. As she left, she could hear Dorian chastising Bull.

She rushed into her tent, unable to face the others and their pitying glances. She instead sat on her bedroll, fiddling with the hem of her blanket, picking at it in frustration. Outside she could hear Varric whispering harshly to Iron Bull, who was apologising profusely.

It was nightfall when Kristoff entered her tent, a steaming bowl of stew in one hand.

“I thought you might want something to eat. We’ve got a long day ahead tomorrow.”

Evie accepted the bowl gratefully, her stomach growling loudly. A small smile appeared on her face as she caught the Herald’s eye, a grin on his face, and the pair laughed quietly. Evie took a small sip, the stew running down her throat and warming her stomach. She hummed gratefully, leaning back against the tent pole.

“Are you alright? Bull’s kicking himself for slipping up,” Kristoff sat down beside her, crossing one leg over the other.

“Yes, yes of course,” Evie insisted, nodding her head, “I was being...foolish. It was a massive overreaction on my part. I’m sorry Herald, I won’t let it interfere again. And Bull really has nothing to be worried about.”

“You needn’t worry about it interfering with the Inquisition. It was you we were worried about, not the mission.”

Evie offered him a small thankful smile as she took another spoonfull, “Thank you, but honestly I’m fine.”  
“You can’t keep avoiding your feelings forever you know,” Kristoff bumped her arm playfully, nearly spilling her stew everywhere. “Oh, sorry.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve confessed more than enough of my feelings to you in the first five minutes of meeting you,” She said giggling slightly. “Don’t you?”  
The Herald laughed, leaning back on his hands, “I must admit, not usually the way I greet most of the new recruits. Look I get it, if you don’t want to talk...but if you do, I’m all ears.” He got to his feet, crouching in the tent, “Now are you going to come join us, or continue sulking in your tent?”

With a cheeky smile, Kristoff lifted the flap of the tent and left her to join the others. Evie smiled brightly to herself, staring at the spot the Herald had vacated. He was definitely one of a kind, she thought as she got to her feet, stew in hand, to join him and the others.


	4. Closing the Breach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I've had a pretty busy week with work, hopefully I'll be able to get another chapter up soon.

It had taken another four days for them to return back to Haven and Evie was ready for a long, hot soak. However, before she could manage even to get to her cabin, she was greeted by an acquaintance of hers she had not seen in years.

“Grand Enchanter,” Evie greeted stiffly, as Fiona walked towards her, Cassandra in tow.

“Hello Evelyn, I must say I was surprised when I had heard you’d joined the Inquisition. I am sorry I did not drop by sooner,” Fiona greeted pleasantly, shaking Evie’s hand. “Herald.” She bowed to Kristoff.

“It is good to see you have returned,” Cassandra added, “How was your first assignment?”  
“Very good thank you Cassandra,” Evie replied smiling at the Seeker genuinely. Despite being slightly wary of Evie, due to her association with Varric, Cassandra warmed up to the mage rather quickly. Though perhaps warm was not a word one would use to describe the seeker. Nonetheless, she was kind to the mage and made her feel welcome within the Inquisition. “It was good to be out of these stone walls for a while.”  
“I can imagine.”

“Herald, there was actually something I wished to discuss with you,” Fiona said, “In private.” Cassandra and Evie took it as their cue to leave. “And Evelyn?” Evie stopped turning back to the Grand Enchanter, “Perhaps we could catch up later, I would love to hear how you have been since I last saw you.”

Evie inclined her head, smiling placatingly, “Of course Grand Enchanter I would be delighted.”

Fiona smiled brightly in returned and before turning to the Inquisitor, talking to him in hushed whispers.

“You don’t seem to particularly...like the Grand Enchanter?” Cassandra noted as the two of them walked over to the cabins.

“I...It’s difficult to explain. I do like her as a person, and her views, whilst a lot more liberal than mine, are similar in certain ways. And her dealings with the Imperium Magister didn’t gain her any respect in my books. Mostly, however, it’s her methods I question. She sparked the rebellions, despite knowing how some mages would react, which is very poorly in some cases. And the timing of it all...It just baffles me. If we genuinely want to rule over ourselves, how can we convince people we are trustworthy by rebelling in such a way? I also believe the Templars are a necessity, to protect us from others and ourselves. Some of us seem to forget the dangers our magic can pose, I can remember that all too well,” She spat bitterly. “Though the order needs changing. It should not be tied to the Chantry. Or to lyrium. Maker, I hate what that stuff has done to Cul- to the Templars. They are as much trapped in the Circle as we are. The Circles should be disbanded too, grouping mages together in a prison, with no freedoms, does not work. No one should be kept in a tower for their entire lives. But, Fiona and the other Libertarians are so focused on separating us from regular people. It’s always us and them. Why can’t we work together to- I’m sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I?”

“No. I find your opinions rather fascinating actually,” Cassandra admitted, “I can see how your past has shaped them. It’s also refreshing to see a mage that does not hate Templars.”  
Evie shrugged, “Templar is just a profession, a skill set, it does not define the person. There are good templars, and bad templars, just as there are mages, elves, Qunari, anyone really.”

“I know, I am surprised is all that after everything that happened…”   
Evie groaned inwardly, so Cassandra knew of what happened at the Ferelden Circle. Though she supposed the woman was a seeker, and right hand of the Divine. “If anything I should hate mages, it was them who turned to blood magic and killed my friends, almost killed me.”

“I...I see. We are on similar pages, I think, on this matter. I pray that there are more mages with your opinions, though I fear I may be optimistic.”

Evie begrudgingly agreed, “There are definitely more of us out there, but yes, I fear we may be a dying breed. Most Circle mages I have met support the rebellion...even the Herald, bar Vivienne.Though I doubt her opinion carriers much credit in that sense, she’s been raised outside the Circle as an ambassador, she has no real experience of Circle life.”

“She is a little too...set on her opinion for my liking.”

Evie gave a quiet chuckle, “Mine too.”  
“Not to mention the fact you’re terrified of her,” Came Varric voice from behind them.

“Yess...thank you Varric for that,” Evie growled, “Was there something you needed?”

“Only to tell you that we’re going to the Tavern for a drink once you’ve cleaned up a little. Bull and a few others are joining us.”

“Oh,” Evie’s mood brightened, “That sounds great. Will you be joining us Cassandra?”  
“Unfortunately not,” The seeker replied, her pleasant demeanor leaving with Varric’s presence, “I have other matters to attend to. If you’ll excuse me.”

“She really doesn’t like you, does she?” Evie said to Varric after Cassandra had left. “Can’t imagine why, you’re so charming?”

“Hilarious,” Varric replied sarcastically before pushing Evie towards her cabin, “Now go and get a bath. Maker knows you need one.”

 

***

 

 “Are you sure you should be giving her anymore Chief?” Krem asked as the Iron Bull was filling her tankard with the Qunari ale.

Evie pressed a finger to Krem’s lips giggling loudly, swaying slightly in her chair, causing Bull to laugh loudly. Krem seemed a little unsure how to respond, he had only really met the woman this evening, and gently pushed her hand away. Bull had introduced Evie to his Chargers that evening, most of whom had already either gone to bed or passed out. Evie loved the Chargers. They were like one big mismatched family, each one adding a little something to their group, led by their loud, funny leader.   
The tavern itself was empty apart from Bull, Krem, Evie, Dorian and Varric, and Flissa the barkeep of course. Sera was there too, technically, though unresponsive as she lay passed out under the table. She’d had one too many of Bull’s Qunari Ale. Varric, Bull and Krem then continued their conversation on which was better, redheads or brunettes. Dorian watched as Evie took another swig of her drink, sloping half of it down her clothes, and coughing as the drink burnt at her throat. He couldn’t help but laugh a little at his friends behaviour. She certainly was interesting when drunk.

“Evelyn, dear, you are positively enrapturing when you’re drunk,” Dorian teased, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, “A wonder you are still single.”

Evie grinned for a hilarious moment before a scowl appeared on her face as she realised the intent of his comment, “I don’t see a ring on your finger Mr Dorian.”

“I am free spirit,” Dorian announced, his speech a little slurred, his eyes a little glazed over, “No man can tame me.”

“No man?!” Evie spat out, nearly choking on her drink.

“Is that a problem?”

Evie looked into her empty mug rather sadly, tipping it upside down, comically checking it was empty. She frowned at Dorian, trying to remember what he had just asked her, “Huh? Ohhh Nope,” She said popping her ‘p’, a sweet smile plastering her face, “A loss to woman kind is all.”

Dorian touched by her comment, pulled her close, in a one armed hug, “Thank you Evie. If I ever decide women are for me, you will be the first to know.”

Evie giggled giddly, placing a sloppy kiss to his cheek which he quickly wiped away.

“Or maybe not, if that’s anything to go by,” Dorian said pulling a face and pushing her away from him.

Evie felt herself falling back and before she could stop herself, found herself facing the ceiling, her legs resting on the bench, her back against the floor. Bull, Dorian and Krem roared with laughter, and Varric rushed round to help her to her feet, chuckling. Varric had never seen the woman so drunk.

“Come on, I think it’s time you got to bed,” Varric pulled her to her feet, half holding her up, with some difficulty considering the height difference.

“Awww Varrriiiicccc,” Evie slurred, “I want to stay.”

“I think we should all head back,” Dorian reasoned, glancing over to Flissa, who was half asleep at her bar, “I think Flissa will want to close up. There’s only a few hours til day break.”

“Aye,” Bull agreed, placing both hands on the table and heaving himself up, “We can take this back to my tent, plenty more drink there!”  
“Aye!” Krem agreed jovially, finishing the rest of his drink.

The five of them bid goodnight to Flissa, who looked positively relieved to close up, and split up, Krem, Dorian and Bull heading for their tents, and Varric and Evie towards the cabins.

“You sure you’ll be alright Varric?” Dorian asked, eyeing Evie as she was swaying on the spot, humming merrily to herself.

Varric laughed, steadying Evie, “I’ll be fine. Dealt with worse things than a drunk mage.”

The pair of them began trudging towards the cabins, Evie leaving a very wobbly set of footprints as she staggered. It took them several minutes to reach the wooden housing, despite being literally within eyesight of the Tavern.

“Right, will you be okay?” Varric asked smirking.

Evie nodded, hiccuping, “I think we should drink more often with Bull. I like him. He’s sooo….pointy.” She gestured to her own head, as if she had horns.

Varric chuckled, “He is very pointy. Now go to bed Twinkles, or you’ll regret it in morning.”

“Night Varric,” Evie smiled at him sleepily.

She rested her back against the door and felt for the door handle, pushing it down slowly. Varric watched wide-eyed as the door opened and she fell back with force, her back slamming against the floor. She giggled, indicating there was no serious harm done. Varric sighed heavily helping her to her feet and half-dragged her over to the bed. She dropped unceremoniously to the floor and fumbled with the laces on her boots, a frown forming on her face as she became more frustrated. Giving up, she held her boot out towards Varric, “Help?”

“You’re hopeless Twinkles,” He said rolling his eyes, but smiled at her adoringly all the same. He bent down and undid her shoes, helping her take them off. “I’m not helping you into bed, I’m not your mother.”

Evie grinned up at him from the floor, “I didn’t know you cared so much Varric.”

“Yeah, well, let’s not make it public knowledge shall we? Dwarf’s gotta uphold his reputation. Now get into bed, some of us need sleep too.”

Nodding, she ‘gracefully’ clambered into bed. She probably ought to have changed out of her clothes, Varric thought, however, he was drawing the line there. He did not want to help her with that. Evie pulled the covers up to her chin and looked up at the dwarf, smiling pleasantly, “Thank you Varric.”  
“You’re welcome. Do you need your potion tonight?”

Evie shook her head forcefully, her hair whipping at her face, “Nah, s’all good tonight.”

Varric nodded, remembering how she had said alcohol helped her sleep. And it would be accurate to say she had had plenty to ensure a peaceful sleep. He took this as his cue to leave, heading for the door.

“Varric?”

The dwarf turned at the sound of her reproachful question. Her eyes looked over at him sadly, a small frown on her face and her lips pulled downwards at the corners.

“Yes Twinkles?” He replied exasperated.

“Will Cullen ever forgive me?”

His eyes softened and he gave Evie a small, pitying smile, exhaling deeply through his nose. Though she had not mentioned the Commander since Bull’s mishap in the Hinterlands, clearly it bothered her more than she was letting on. Varric knew Curly felt it too, he had been particularly tough on the new recruits these past couple of weeks, taking his frustrations out on them.

“I think you need to actually have apologised first for that to happen,” Varric chuckled, “But I think he would forgive you in a heartbeat. This however, is a conversation for another time, preferably when you’re not off your tits.”

Evie giggled childishly, her worries apparently forgotten, “Heh heh tits.”  
“Goodnight Evie,” Varric said loudly, forcefully, indicating he was now definitely leaving.

“Night Varric.”

 

***

 

Several days had passed since that night and Evie had yet to reconcile with Cullen. Varric did not press her, presuming she had not found opportunity, or possibly forgotten the conversation altogether. In truth she was terrified of asking for his forgiveness, she’d been actively avoiding him even more so than usual. Though that wasn’t too hard as she had been spending every day working with the Grand Enchanter, Dorian, Solas, Vivienne and the other mages on channelling their power into the Herald’s mark. They were going to close the Breach. For good this time.

“Ready to go?”  
Dorian strode into her cabin, the Herald by his side. Evie grabbed her pack from her bed, slinging it over her shoulder.

“Just about,” Evie replied, giving them both a warm smile. She noted Kristoff was rather quiet, staring off into the distance whilst biting his lips. “Are you okay, Herald?”  
He snapped out of his reverie, “I told you I hate that title.”

“All the more reason to do it,” She countered, laughing with Dorian. “It’s okay to be nervous you know. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. It will all be okay though. I’m sure of it.”  
“Easy for you to say, you don’t have to close a bloody hole in the sky,” He replied sarcastically.

“I don’t envy you, my friend, I will say that,” Dorian agreed, crossing his arms. “Come, the others are waiting.”

The three of them left her cabin, Evie grabbing her staff on the way out. They trudged through the snow to where their friends gathered, including the Chargers. Many of the mages had already begun the trek up to the Temple, with only a few stragglers remaining. The Herald went to briefly speak to his advisors, Evie looking anywhere but at Cullen, before rejoining them, ready to take on the task ahead.

“Can we go now, yeah?” Sera asked impatiently tapping her foot, “Need to close that soddin’ hole in the sky before more demons come through.”

Evie definitely agreed with Sera, the sooner the Breach was closed the better. Even after her time in Haven, being this close to a tear in the Fade made her extremely uncomfortable, if a little frightened.

“We are leaving now,” Cassandra snapped, having little patience for the elf.

Sera sprung to life, already leaping up towards the Temple path, leaving the rest to follow in her footsteps.

“So I see you are still avoiding Cullen like the plague.”  
Evie groaned at the sound of the familiarly sarcastic voice of the Herald, she begrudgingly turned her head to indeed see the mage striding towards her. “Don’t you have other, more important, things to be thinking about right now?”

“Eh,” He shrugged nonchalant, “The hole in the sky is still at least another half an hours’ walk away by my calculations.” His gaze wandered up from her face to the imposing green tear in the Fade, almost subconsciously, and gulped loudly. The nerves were admittedly getting to him, but he hoped at least it would all be over in a matter of hours. Hiding his fear, he plastered a grin to his face, “When are you going to speak to him then?”

“I’m not.”

“You can’t ignore him forever, Evie.”

Evie sighed heavily, since Varric had not pressed her about the whole subject, she was hoping to avoid it, at least for a little while. “Look, I said some horrible things to him. Unforgivable things. He’s not going to want to talk to me."

Kristoff was a little surprised by her response, “Wait, you're not avoiding him because you’re angry at him?"

"I was at first, but mostly I'm just ashamed now, for what I said. He thought I was dead and instead of having a happy reunion I basically shoved the worst part of his life in his face. The decisions he would rather lay buried. I wouldn't forgive him if the tables were turned,” Evie confessed, focusing hard on the back of Iron Bull, just a few steps ahead.

“I’m pretty certain you would, you’ve forgiven him for everything else haven’t you? And if you don’t mind my saying, most of that is much worse I’m sure than anything you’ve said,” Kristoff reasoned.

Evie shrugged, rather helplessly; she knew the Herald was right but personally she’d rather just stick her head in the sand. “I appreciate your concern Kristoff, I really do, but I’d rather not talk about it right now.”  
“Huh, Varric mentioned you liked to avoid your problems,” He smirked annoyingly.

Evie huffed indignantly, “I do not avoid my problems.” Though she knew she was lying through her teeth.

“If you say so,” The Herald held his hands up in surrender, “We shall move on to another topic then. But, the Commander is rather dreamy isn’t he? Don’t think I could stay mad at him for long, one look with those honey gold eyes and I’d melt.”

Evie shoved Kristoff angrily, though she could not help the smile that grew on her face, “You’re unbelievable.”

“I try,” He grinned boyishly, only to falter as Cassandra, hearing their antics, threw the pair a cold stare. “Ouch, think we’re in trouble later.”  
“I blame you.”

It took as Kristoff predicted, about a half an hour to walk to the Temple. The Herald then left Evie’s side to join Solas and Cassandra, Evie herself, standing with the other mages. Once everyone was prepared, Solas instructed them to pour their energy into the Herald’s mark to close the rift. Evie watched as the Herald stepped towards the Breach, his glowing hand outstretched before him. She felt the cold trickle of fear within her, concerned for Kristoff. None of them really knew what this would do. On cue, she, along with the other mages, brought their staffs to the ground, channeling their power into the Herald. All the while Evie kept her eyes on her friends as he struggled against the Breach, his hand crackling with energy. The familiar green bolt, she had come to associate with the closing of rifts, shot between the Herald and the Breach. Slowly, bit by bit, he was closing the Breach. A bright light suddenly flashed, sending a ripple of energy throughout the temple ruins. It threw her to the floor, her staff clattering to the ground. A nearby mage helped her to her feet, her eyes immediately snapping down on the Herald. Cassandra was pushing her way through towards him. He got to his feet, Evie breathing a sigh of relief, and turned to Cassandra. Not waiting for orders, she rushed down the stairs to where they stood, stopping by Solas’ side.

“He did it,” The elf breathed in awe, his eyes cast skyward.

Evie followed his gaze and beamed. In her haste to reach her friend she had not noticed the lack of green light, the nights’ sky now dark. She joined in the cheers that echoed through the ruins, hugging Solas tightly. Though she was not sure the mage appreciated it. But she did not care. Kristoff, the Herald of Andraste, had done it. He had saved them. He had closed the Breach.


	5. Corypheus

The celebrations began almost immediately after the Herald’s return and ran long into the night. People rejoiced at the closing of the Breach, drinking and dancing around Haven. Evie could not hold back the smile that tugged at her lips. The Breach was closed and for the first time since the rebellions began there was something to celebrate, there was hope. She gratefully accepted the tankard of ale the Iron Bull handed her, clinking her cup with his in cheer before downing half of it. She felt she’d earned it.

The mug almost dropped from her grasp, her laughter catching in her throat as the alarm bell tolled, signalling an attack. She could hear the sounds of clashing swords, the roar of men and women fighting. Something was terribly wrong. Chaos ruled Haven, the villagers running skittishly around, looking for some form of order or sanctuary. Evie threw her mug aside, drawing her staff looking at her companions in confusion. They all looked just as befuddled.

“Andraste’s tits what the fuck is that?” Sera said, voicing Evie’s thoughts perfectly.

“Look there’s the Commander,” Krem pointed towards the gates of Haven, where Cullen stood, soldiers running around him.

“Forces approaching!” He cried, waving an arm in the direction of the gates, “To arms!”

“Guess the celebratory drinks are on hold,” Iron Bull joked, drawing his battleaxe from its sheath.

Evie and the others ran for the gates. All with weapons drawn.

“Herald!” Dorian exclaimed as they practically ran into he and Cassandra. “Care to explain what is happening?”

“Not a sodding clue,” Kristoff replied.

“Brilliant. Some Herald you are.”

“Cullen?” Cassandra asked forcefully, striding up to him.

The Commander reported that the watch guard had spotted a large force heading straight for them. To make matters more confusing they were not even marching under a banner. The Inquisition had no idea just who was about to attack them. Putting them at a severe disadvantage. A moment later, the doors began to rattle, as if someone was trying to force them open. The Herald and Cullen ran out into the courtyard to find just a young boy, surrounded by a number of bodies. The boy, Cole, explained that he had come to warn them. The Elder one was coming. And he was not happy.

“Inquisition!” Cullen called out, his sword drawn and raised in the air, “With the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!”

The burning determination of his voice, the command in which he spoke sent a strange flutter through Evelyn’s body. It sparked a determination in herself, to fight, and to succeed against the mysterious enemy. Her eyes fixated on the back of the Commander’s head.

“Evelyn!” Her head snapped round at the sound of Cassandra calling her, the Herald and Vivienne by her side.

She sprinted over to the group, her heart already beginning to hammer in chest from fear, pumping adrenaline through her veins.

“We need to get those trebuchets firing,” Kristoff ordered, commanding in a manner she had not known the Herald to possess. Though he was the defacto leader of the Inquisition after all. “Let’s go.”

As they approached the first trebuchet on the edge of the lake, was when the templars came into view. Though these were not ordinary templars, there was something horrifyingly wrong with them. Red lyrium grew from the templars in a grotesque manner, sprouting from their shoulders, their arms, deforming their bodies into something most monstrous. The effect was instantaneous upon Evie as soon as she struck her first templar. The lyrium that addled their bodies called to her, sang to her. Not unlike it’s blue counterpart. Except much stronger, much darker, much more dangerous. She fought for control over her body, the itch for red lyrium almost too hard to bear. With every spell, every expelling of magic that drained her, the itch grew larger, the song grew louder in her ears.

“Are you well Evelyn?” Cassandra asked, placing a comforting hand on the mage’s back as she bent over, retching.

Gritting her teeth, she took a deep breath before looking up at the Seeker, “It’s the lyrium Cassandra, in my head. I-” She grimaced, groaning with the effort of resisting, “It’s just taking it’s toll on me. But I will be fine. I am strong enough to withhold.”

Cassandra searched Evie’s eyes for any trace of doubt in her words, listened for any weakness in her voice. Satisfied, she gave a curt nod and the pair rejoined the others, heading for the second trebuchet. Kristoff caught her gaze, a silent exchange passing between them. The lyrium affected him too.  

“I feel it too, my dear,” Vivienne said from beside her, “But do not let it take you. We are stronger than that.”

Nodding, Evie mustered up her strength and took off after the Herald and Cassandra, Vivienne on her heels. They flitted between the Templars, striking them down where they could. Though Evie considered herself quite accomplished in her magic, it was nothing compared to the former First Enchanter. Evie could not help but glance at the Orlesian, her staff moving in blur, and watch in awe. She looked effortless as they swept across the battlefield. They finally caught up to the others at the trebuchet and between them it did not take long to secure it. It cast into the mountainside, sending a wave of snow cascading down the valley, covering the Templar forces. Evie grinned and cheered alongside the soldiers, clasping hands with ones nearest to her.   
An inhuman shriek roared through the valley, wiping the smile of her face.

“Holy fucking shit!” She cried out as the trebuchet burst into flames.

“It cannot be…” Vivienne gasped, her cool facade crumbling at the sight of the dragon soaring above them.

Kristoff called out to them, to everyone, to head back for the gates. Evie did not need to be told twice, she bolted for Haven amongst the soldiers, sliding in through the gates and falling to her hands and knees once inside. Though she had reassured Cassandra of her strength, now she was away from the battle she felt drained.

“Here.”

A small, blue bottle was shoved into her face and she grabbed it, downing the contents greedily. The effect was instant. She felt the lyrium flowing through her veins and her magic rejuvenating. A pair of large hands pulled her to her feet. The Iron Bull.

“You alright?” And Dorian. He must have given her the lyrium.

“Better now,” Evie breathed, “Thank you.”

“Not every day one gets to face an archdemon,” Dorian remarked dryly.

“Indeed. Time for round two!” Bull declared almost giddy with excitement.

Dorian cast the Qunari a startled look, “You will be doing so on your own. Now come, everyone appears to be gathering in the Chantry.

Inside, the atmosphere was tense. Many of the villagers huddled in groups, whispering furiously to one and other. Children were crying out as their mothers and fathers desperately tried to calm them down. Josephine was looking particularly disheveled, rushing between groups to gain some form of organisation. Sera waved them over from where she sat, on a barrel, and the sat and waited and watched as Cullen, Kristoff and their new arrival Cole, tried to fathom a means of escape. Thankfully, there was an escape route, known only by Roderick, which meant the citizens of Haven and the Inquisition could evacuate Haven. Unfortunately however, someone would have to remain behind to hold back the army and the darkspawn leader. The Inquisitor had volunteered, taking with him Cassandra, Iron Bull and Varric.

“If Varric’s going, I am too,” Evie stated, grabbing her staff from the floor of the Chantry, and forcing her way into the conversation. Varric cast Evie an anxious look but she remained firm, “Varric, you’re the only ties I have to my family. I’m not letting you die,” She grinned, “Besides, I’ve grown rather partial to having you around.”  
Varric laughed heartily, slinging Bianca over his shoulder. Kristoff however, looked over at her cautiously, “I can’t ask you to do this. We probably...we have no guarantee of escape.”  
“You’re not asking me. I’m offering,” Evie quipped, “Besides what’s life without a little risk.”

Varric clapped Evie on the back, “Truer words were never spoken. Come on, let’s go kick some darkspawn butt.”

Evie laughed, following Varric towards the Chantry doors, pressing a comforting hand on Kristoff’s shoulder and offering him an encouraging smile. He gave her a small nod, and Evie left him to collect his thoughts, heading towards Varric, Iron Bull and Cassandra outside.

“Be careful out there.”

Evie turned at the voice, uncharacteristically worried. “I will try Dorian, but there is an archdemon out there you know,” Evie joked, “I don’t think careful and Archdemon go hand in hand.”  
The Tevinter scowled and pulled her into a tight hug. Dorian had volunteered too, but the Herald had asked him to stay with the evacuees, making sure they escaped. Though he was not entirely pleased at being left behind.

“Please try not to do anything stupid then, I would be a little...disappointed if you died.”

Evie gave the mage an extra squeeze and pulled away before placing a kiss on Dorian’s cheek, “If you put it that way...how can I refuse.”

Dorian smiled at her, rolling his eyes, but said nothing and walking over to the Herald, presumably to say goodbye. Kristoff was talking with Cole. He seemed...a little odd to say the least; he had almost appeared to have read Roderick’s mind when he announced the man knew of an alternative exit. But, right now, the Inquisition needed all the help they could get.    
She walked over to the doors of the Chantry, and looked back, giving the place that had been her home, her sanctuary for the past few weeks, a final glance. She couldn’t say she would particularly miss the Chantry itself, more likely to miss the Tavern, but it represented the Heart of their Inquisition, their cornerstone, and it would be a loss to the Inquisition, alongside Haven itself. That is if they are successful of course.  
 Cullen was ushering people towards the rear door, towards the secret escape route Roderick had described. She caught his gaze, his eyes resting upon her. His jaw was tight, his lips pulled into a thin, but his eyes softened when they met hers. Several long moments passed between them, their gazes locked, each not wanting to look away. Evie’s chest grew tight, constricted, her breath catching in her throat. His lips parted as if he were about to speak, to say something to her but he hesitated, his mouth closing back into a tight thin line. She painfully dragged her gaze away and turned away from Cullen, walking out of the Chantry. She was a coward, and Maker did she know it. That could be the last time they ever see each other, and she couldn’t speak to him, or even offer him a smile. A sign of forgiveness.

“Are you alright?”

Evie looked to her left to see Cassandra stood, eyeing her warily. There were a million ways Evie could think to describe how she was feeling at this moment. Alright would not have been one of them. She knew she could do this though, had to do this. Steeling herself, Evie took a deep breath and nodded firmly to the Seeker, “Yes, I am fine. Or as fine as one can be when they are about to face a dragon.” Evie gave her a lopsided grin.

Cassandra smiled wanly, “Indeed. I wonder if this is what the Hero of Ferelden felt before she faced the Archdemon.”

As if on cue a distant roar sounded through Haven and the valley causing the group to stand to attention. The Herald finally joined them, determination emanating from his very presence. His mouth forming a tight line, and his jaw taut.

“Cullen has led the people of Haven to the passage, we should make our move now. Let’s go.”

In silence they pressed forward towards the final trebuchet, the Red Templars blocking their path. Each group was cut down by the Herald and his companions until they finally reached the trebuchet. Evie found the second interaction with the red lyrium a little easier, having been prepared for the temptation, the singing of the magical object, from her previous encounter. It did not take as much effort to concentrate upon the fight before her, to strike down the corrupted Templars.   
Kristoff began turning the wheel, setting up the trebuchet to fire. Evie and the others gathered round him, swords and staff raised to protect the Herald. Templars flooded towards them, all poised for the kill. Evie cast a barrier around her and the others before freezing a nearby Templar. Raising her staff, she then swung down on him, shattering the ice and the Templar with it. She heard the crunching of the snow behind and spun round firing at her attacker. The Templar arched his sword down towards her, forcing Evie to duck and roll out of the swords path before scrambling to her feet. She quickly scanned her surroundings. Bull and Cassandra were taking out three other Templars whilst Varric had taken position on the trebuchet firing at anyone who drew near to the Herald. The Templar swung his sword again. Evie dodged the swing and repeatedly fired bolts of lightning at him, twirling her staff in an impressive display before slamming it down to the ground, unleashing a torrent of bolt. The Templar fell to his knees, the barrage of attacks too much even for his red lyrium-addled body.

“Freckles!” Varric yelled, preparing Bianca for another shot, “How’s it coming?”

The Herald grunted as he whipped his staff round to freeze a nearby enemy, Evie rushing to his aid, before returning to turning the wheel on the trebuchet, “It’s coming. It’s coming.”

“Do it quicker!” Varric cried back over his shoulder.

“Evie, a little help!” Kristoff said.

Evie nodded, more to herself, “Right.” She hit an oncoming templar with her staff before paralysing him with a spell. She grabbed the wheel with Kristoff, and turned with all her might.

“Yes, yes, we’re nearly there,” Kristoff commented, a small grin growing on his face. “Keep going. That’s it. Yes. A few more.”

A roar thundered through the valley, sending chills down Evies spine, "Shit. Um... Kristoff? What’s the plan of attack against an archdemon?"

"Move." He dropped his grip on the wheel, signalling to the others. The dragon was flying towards them, fast as lightning. "Move. Now."

Evie let go of the wheel, sprinting off after the others. A hand grabbed her and pulled her to the floor. She tumbled in the snow, landing on her front as a trail of red fire melted the snow, singing the ground where she had been moments ago. The heat stung her eyes, burning her skin. She raised her left arm, trying to shield her face from harm. The dragon circled round before landing meters away from her. She heard a cough beside her to see the Herald. He must've grabbed her. Saved her life. She could not see the others and she prayed with all her heart they were safe. She got to her feet, hissing in pain as her burning hands touched the snow.

A figure began walking towards them, he was tall, massive even, at least twice her height. Beside her, Kristoff stirred, he too scrambling to his feet. The figure drew closer, walking freely through the fire. It was the creature who had stood beside Sampson as the templars attacked. Whatever this creature was, he was hideous. His face scarred, demented, and his mouth upturned at the corner in a sneer. Slender arms protruded from his bulky wing-like shoulders, his body decorated in folds of skin and what Evie assumed was red lyrium. Evie and Kristoff glanced at each other warily before taking off in the opposite direction in means of escape. The archdemon dropped down in front of them and roared loudly, warning, forcing the pair back towards the trebuchet.

“Enough,” The creature spoke, his voice deep and dangerous. It sent shivers down Evie’s spine. He addressed Kristoff, ignoring her presence, “Pretender. You toy with forces beyond your ken. No more.”

“What are you? Why are you doing this?” Kristoff spoke bravely, calmly, despite being faced with both an archdemon and a weird abomination.

“Mortals beg for truth they cannot have. It is beyond what you are, what I was. Know me, know what you have pretended to be. Exalt the Elder One! The will that is Corypheus.” The creature, Corypheus, raised its skeletal arm, pointing one of its bone-like fingers towards them, “You will kneel.”

“This doesn’t make sense! Let me understand!” reasoned the Herald, though she doubted this creature comply.

“Your understanding is not required. If you gain it, consider yourself blessed,” He replied, his tone arrogant and condescending. An orb appeared in his hand, glowing much like the Herald’s mark but with a red light as opposed to green and a strange magic emitted from the orb. “I am here for the Anchor. The process of removing it begins now.”

The same light emitting from the orb began to glow from his hand, casting it towards Kristoff. The Herald’s anchor lit up with its usual green light, reacting to Corypheus’ power.

“No!” Evie cried diving towards Corypheus.

With lightning fast reactions, the archdemon caught her with his claw, sending her flying through the air. She felt the thud as her back connected with a hard surface. Her head clattered against it and she fell to the floor. Her vision began to waver as darkness slowly overcame her, the last thing she saw was the red light of Corypheus, and she hope Andraste would save the Inquisitor again.

 

***

 

Evie awoke to the sound of dripping water, which strangely echoed in her room. Her bed felt hard and rough on her back and her face and hands were burning as if on fire. Her right side throbbed something terribly. It felt wet. She opened her eyes wearily,Maker did she feel rough, and focused in on the ceiling above her. It was rock.

"Thank goodness you're awake."

Kristoff’s face suddenly popped into her vision, his face hovering over her. His eye was swollen and several scratches covered his skin. But he was grinning broadly. "Thought I'd lost you for a second there. Good old Corypheus’ archdemon did a number on you." His face darkened, "Motherfucker."

"Coryph-" Evie stopped mid-word as her memory came rushing back to her. The Red Templars. Corypheus. The dragon. She bolted upright, swooning slightly as the room span, and her side roared with pain, "Ah!” She clutched her side, to see it bandaged. “Where's Varric and the others? And Haven?"

"Easy there. Lay back down or you'll do yourself another injury. And no doubt you’ve ruined your bandages." Kristoff pushed her gently back down, placing a hand to her forehead. "Still too warm," He mumbled to himself. He grabbed a piece of cloth from beside her and froze it gently before placing it on her forehead gently. The cold felt wonderful against her skin and she smiled softly, "Thank you. You saved my life."

"Its only a cold towel."

Evie rolled her eyes, "Before you idiot."

"Its no problem. Let's not make a habit of ir though."

"What happened to the others? You didn't say."

Kristoff shrugged, "I have no idea. Im sure they will be fine though. Haven however, its gone." His voice sounded hollow as he discussed Haven's demise. Evie placed a comforting hand on his.

"I'm so sorry. I know what that place meant to you. But we managed to get the people of Haven out. That counts for something right?"

He offered a small, weak smile, "Right. But I've failed them, I was meant to protect them and instead I lost them their home."

"A home isn't made from bricks and mortar. Its the people you share it with."

"I...you're right. Thank you."

"Now I was wondering if you could get me up to speed, and also tell me honestly, is my face really burnt?"

Kristoff chuckled, "The good news or bad news?"

"What about my face or what happened?"

"Both."

Evie giggled, "Let's start with my face."

"Well, the good news is your burns aren't permanent or particularly damaging. Just more like you’ve spent too long in the sun. The bad news is half your face looks like a lobster."

"Brilliant. Maybe I'll burn the other side to even it out."

The Herald snorted, “You also might be wondering what you’ve done to your side?” Evie nodded. “The archdemon, when it swiped at you, I think you must’ve been caught by one of its claws. I’ve healed it the best I can but, I’m a little low on power right now. I’m sorry but I think it might scar.”

She looked down at the makeshift bandage, a shirt, tied around her waist. Blood was already seeping through the material. She raised her hand over the injured area and allowed a little magic to seep into the wound, closing it up. She did not use too much energy for fear there could be plenty of danger ahead.

“What happened then? How did we end up here?”

"After you were knocked unconscious I managed to escape Corypheus' spell, and I set off the trebuchet. I don't know happened to him but I presume he escaped. Haven was buried. I grabbed you and we fell into here," He gestured around him,  "Wherever this is. I carried you for a while but ran into some demons. I managed to fight them off but I'm not doing great myself, so I decided to wait until you were able to walk yourself and here we are."

Evie looked towards him admiringly, "Thank you. Seriously I owe you twice over."

Kristoff waved her off with the flick of a hand, “All in a days work.”

“Well thank you nonetheless,” Her gaze was drawn down to his hand, which was glowing faintly, “What was it that Corypheus wanted your mark for? What are his plans.”

Habitually, the Herald rubbed his palm, as if trying to remove the Anchor himself, “He...he’s a...he claims he is, or was, a magister of Tevinter. One of those which entered the Black City. He’s one of those who started the Blight, Evie. What’s worse, he said when they entered the city, he saw nothing but corruption, the Maker…is not who we believe him to be.”

Evie stared at her friend, whilst her faith had been shaken all those years ago in the tower - she struggled to believe a higher power would allow the horror to occur, or such hatred towards mage  - to hear of the Maker was corrupted, everything she had began to believe he was, was...well wasn’t sure how she felt. Resigned? Disappointed? Acceptance?

“This is only what he claimed to be though? We don’t know it’s true?”

“Those were my thoughts, but honestly, I struggled with my faith long before now,” He admitted glumly, “It’s always been hard to accept being a mage, since the Chantry tell us we’re heathen.”

Evie nodded, “I understand. After...everything, I have a hard time accepting the Maker is good. But you’re the Herald of Andraste?” She laughed.

“I know, you can’t tell anyone this. But I was never entirely sure Andraste marked me, and now we know, it wasn’t her. It was Corypheus. He means to open the Heavens, and rule over us all. That’s why he wanted my anchor, it was supposed to be the key to unlocking the Heavens.”

“Ironic then, that you’ve used it to close the Breach,” Evie smirked, she drew herself up, resting on her elbows. Her head swam no longer so she sat up fully, her back aching from lying on the cold stone floor.

“I do not think Corypheus saw the funny side,” Kristoff chuckled, taking note of her upright position, “You think you’re ready to move on. Because if we want to catch up to the others, we need to get moving.”

“We need to find our way out of this bloody cave first,” Evie got to her feet, with the help of Kristoff. He passed her a staff, and she found safety, comfort from it’s familiar weight in her grasp. “I didn’t even know there were caves at Haven.”

“Let’s hope they lead us to the mountains, and not back to Haven,” The Herald replied.

The two began traipsing through the caves, trying to navigate to the surface, which were thankfully demon free. After a number of wrong turns and back-tracking, the Herald and Evie began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Gathering their strength they pushed forward quickly, breaking into a run. The cold hit them like a brick wall. The wind howled, whipping snow into whirlwinds of white which stung at their faces.

“Which way should we go?” Evie shouted over the turbulent winds.

“Haven is that way, if I have my bearings correct,” Kristoff yelled back before pointing, “So I say we go this way. The others will not dare return to Haven.”

Evie nodded, her teeth chattering loudly. He could’ve been pointing to anywhere and Evie would’ve agreed. Not that anyone could tell in this storm which way was which. Expelling a little more energy, she cast a barrier around them, only a thin one, to dull the harsh chilling air. The Herald mouthed thank you and the pair pressed on. It was a tiresome work, their feet and legs sunk into snow, slowing their progress, wasting their energy. After hours of struggling through the snow, they came across a camp fire.

“It’s still warm,” Kristoff said, as he bent down to examine the embers, “They should not be far.”

“Thank goodness for that,” Evie breathed a sigh of relief, a laugh escaping her lips. She grinned wearily at the Herald, “I don’t think I could’ve done this without you.”  
The Herald returned her grin, “Nor I, you. Do you want to stop for a while, you’re bleeding again.”

Evie looked down to see she was indeed bleeding from her wound. She was so numb she had not noticed. “No I shall be fine. The sooner we get there, the sooner I can get this healed properly. Besides, I’m so bloody cold, I’d not noticed the pain. And the cold’s done wonders for my face, it doesn’t feel burnt at all.”

“Ha, make the best out of a shit situation eh?” Kristoff grinned, laughing in disbelief.

They began walking again, this time with a renewed energy. They were so close. Evie could feel it in her bones. She clambered up the slope just behind Kristoff, her head hung, concentrating on keeping her feet moving. She was beginning to feel light-headed, perhaps from all the walking, or perhaps the loss of blood. Behind her she could see a trail of red, her blood staining the pure white snow. She was vaguely aware of Kristoff coming to a halt, and she looked up. Lights. Campfires. Tents. The Inquisition. Kristoff sank to his knees in exhaustion and as Evie’s vision began to waver, she could hear voices.

“It’s them.”

Cullen.

“Thank the Maker.”

Cassandra.

Evie wanted to point out that, in light of recent events, Cassandra probably shouldn’t thank the Maker for anything, but she could not say a word before the floor rose up to meet her.


	6. A Spirit of Compassion

Evelyn awoke to the sight of Varric’s face, hovering over her. His eyes lit up once he’d seen hers open, crinkling in the corners as a relieved smile crossed his face. She heard him call for healers, and for the Herald, his face disappearing from view. The left side of her face felt tight and sore as she wiggled her lower jaw, testing her burn. She prayed it wouldn’t blister.

“The healers will get a salve for you,” Varric commented from beside her. “Nasty burn you got there.”

She turned her head on the pillow to glare at the dwarf. Varric sat on a chair beside her, in some form of canopy or tent, another two beds located behind him. Wind gusted through the fabric walls, sending a shiver through her body and raising the hairs on her arms.

“You gave us quite a scare, Twinkles, you and Freckles,” Varric commented in an almost reprimanding tone, though the smile did not leave his face.

“My apologies,” Evie drawled sarcastically. She sat up, a throbbing spreading through her side where the Archdemon had struck her. “Ah fuck.”

Varric rolled his eyes, “Be careful, Maker’s balls woman, you just took on a dragon and the Elder One all in one day.”

Evie propped up her pillow, leaning lightly against it, “How long was I out?”  
“Over a day and a half, the Herald has been getting impatient.”

Evie exhaled softly in amusement, “He is okay then?”  
Varric nodded, “Somehow. Maker knows how the pair of you survived. Both of you were practically human icicles when we found you.”

Evie pulled the blankets up highers, remembering the severe cold she had felt, “It was rather chilly.”

She lifted her top to fully examine her wound, only to see it still bandaged. The shirt of Kristoff’s that had previously held her together was of course removed and clean bandages ran the across her body from her chest right down to her navel.

“Wait til you see it,” Varric muttered. “It will be one heck of a scar.”

“Brilliant,” Evie groaned. Though a smile soon set on her face when her eyes laid upon the red headed Herald, his green eyes alight with joy as he walked towards them.

“Glad to see you’re awake,” He said, taking a seat beside Varric. The dwarf acknowledged him with a nod. “Maker knows you’ve been resting long enough.”

“I’ve already apologised to Varric. I’m not saying it again just because some bloody darkspawn has ‘blessed’ you with a mark,” Evie huffed folding her arms across her chest, forgetting her injuries until pain spread across her side. “Ugh.”

“Good to know you’re feeling right as rain,” Kristoff replied dryly, “Now that you are awake, I am here to inform you we’re packing up soon. Sorry. We don’t really have time to wait for you to recover, or Corypheus may catch us. And Solas has a plan.”  
“Which is?”  
“He knows of somewhere we will be able to set up permanently.”  
Evie snorted, “Vague as ever.”

Kristoff shrugged, pulling a face, “Better than nothing.”

“The shorter I am stuck in these Blighted mountains in these Blighted tents the better,” Varric grumbled, shifting in his seat.

“Herald?!”

Kristoff cringed at the sound of his title, his eyes clenching shut, “Maker, will Cassandra ever leave me be?” He heaved himself to his feet, using his knees as leverage, “It appears I must take my leave. You two had better get your things together, I was not lying when I said we were leaving soon.”  
“She’s in no condition to be doing anything!” Varric protested, jumping to his feet.

Evie waved her hand and sat up, ignoring the pain in her side, “I’m fine Varric. Really.”  
She grimaced at the pain in her side as she adjusted to which Varric rolled his eyes, "Alright, not fine. I will be though. I have to be. We're moving soon." She nodded towards the tent entrance where people were bustling by, various boxes and supplies in their arms. "Pass me my staff." He did so, eyeing her warily ready to catch her in case she fell. Grabbing the staff firmly in her grasp, she heaved herself up. Her side immediately flared up sending a burning pain through her body, and she cried out.

Varric rushed to her side, "I told you-" He fell silent, stopped in his tracks at the glare Evie gave him, instead having to be content to simply watch as she struggled to her feet.

She celebrated inwardly in victory as she stood up right, her chest moving up and down in quick succession as she panted in exhaustion. “See I’m fine.”

Varric bit back a retort and grabbed his friend’s shoes, “Here you’re not going to want to go out there barefoot.”  
Evie thanked him and slipped her feet into her boots, waving her hand, dispelling a little magic to lace them up. She took a few shaky steps under Varric watchful eye, leaving the tent and onto the powder snow. At least the snow cushioned her steps. Pain reverberated through her side with every step she took.

Around them, people continued to pack up the camp, various villagers and soldiers wishing her well as they passed. Including the Grand Enchanter and Mother Gisele.

“I am glad to see you on your feet again Evelyn,” The Revered mother greeted, giving her a genuine smile. “Thank the Maker he chose to save you and the Herald.”

Evie returned her smile just a broadly. She rather liked Mother Gisele. Whilst it was no secret Evelyn did not particularly follow the Chant or even believe in the Maker’s good will, the woman had shown her no scorn or even any hint of trying to convert her. She admired Mother Gisele for that, and wondered if more people of the Chantry were like her, the Circles may not be in the state of disbandment which they were now. If there was any candidate for the next Divine, Evie knew where her vote would be placed.

“Thank you Mother Gisele, I am just glad to have survived, along with so many other.”

“It was most fortunate that Rodderick knew of an escape,” She agreed with a soft, sad smile, “I pray for his safe passage to the Maker.”  
“I-I’m sorry Mother Gisele. I had not realised-”

“Of course not,” She said kindly, “Thank you. I am glad his last act was one which saved us all.”

Just half an hour later the entire Inquisition was on the move through the Frostback Mountains. With her injuries, Evie soon found herself bringing up the rear with the others injured during the attack on Haven and those caring for them. Varric of course remaining by her side. In the commotion of the attack, Evie had not realised the extent of casualties until they were walking, hobbling and being carried alongside her. And to her dismay, unfortunately, some had been killed in the attack initially, and more and more pass on as they moved through the mountains. Evie was struggling herself, finding solace from her pain only when the Iron Bull had fallen back to carry her a while, despite her insistence she was fine. It was very undignified to be carried in the Qunari’s arms. Stitches, the Chargers own healer, had resewn and rebandaged her wound which had opened up. Ideally, Evie knew she should’ve not strained herself too much to allow it to heal. Unfortunately they did not have the luxury.

 “You do realise Curly is watching your every move?” Varric drawled.

The Commander of the Inquisition had been helping the stragglers at the back of the group, his soldiers mostly, bringing up the rear of the Inquisition, leaving Kristoff, Solas and Leliana at the front leading. Evie was not sure what to make of that moment back in Haven as she left the Chantry. If she could even consider it anything worthy of note at all.

“Really? I doubt it.” She looked back over her shoulder to see Cullen helping a young soldier through the snow, the soldiers arm slung over his Commander’s shoulder. And indeed his molten eyes bore into hers, his gaze flickering away from her when he noticed hers. Evie pulled a face of disbelief, “Well would you look at that. Probably worried I’m going to unleash an army of demons upon him.”

“When are you going to admit you want to talk to him?”

“Varric…”  
“No I’m serious.”  
“And so am I,” Evie snapped, “It’s not really any of your business Varric and there are plenty more pressing issues to be concerned with right now.”  
She regretted her words instantly at the hurt look that crossed his face. He held up his hands in defence, “Alright, alright. I’ll leave you be.”

“Sorry Varric,” She quickly apologised, “I guess I’m on a bit of a short fuse at the moment.”  
Varric smiled warmly at her, showing all was forgiven, “Guess being sliced open by an archdemon will do that to you, huh?”

 

***

 

For six days, the Inquisition had battled through the Frostback mountains. It had taken much longer for them to cover ground; the injured and the young slowing their pace. But they pressed on to their mysterious destination Solas had revealed only to the Herald. The pair had remained at the front of the group, scouting ahead for any signs of their destination or danger. It seemed apart however, that there was little risk of danger; Corypheus had not pursued them, nor had his templars.

Evelyn sat perched upon a rock, the cold seeping in through her breeches where she made contact, waiting for Cassandra to hurry back with some food. She looked over her shoulder, the direction in which they were heading, to see nothing but snow and hills. The same of which they had seen since entering the mountains. She sighed and looked down at her hands, which were slightly blue from the cold. It seemed almost like they were going to die up here, lost in the Frostback mountains. But she trusted the Herald, that he would lead them true. The crunching of snow echoed around her and she raised her gaze. There was no one there. She frowned, befuddled and hauled herself to her with the aid of her staff, sending a dull throb across her side and back.

“Hello?”

No answer. Evie looked around her for the source of the noise until her eyes landed on the young blonde boy who had helped them in Haven, his eyes obscured by his oversized hat. She blinked in surprise; the boy had appeared as if out of nowhere.

“Cole.”

Evie’s voice caught in her throat, the familiar feeling of icy fear in her chest. She had been curious, or perhaps anxious, to know what the boy was exactly. She had been puzzling over it for days now. The way he had read Roderick’s mind. No human could ever do that. He had to be….She began to back away slightly in fear of just what Cole could be, old, unwanted memories returning to the forefront of her mind.

“Demons. Uldred. Torturing. Pain, so much pain. And power. Tempted but for a moment. It is not right. Demons are not right,” The words came out in short sharp bursts, like her thoughts flashing through her mind. A young templar came to view. Curly blonde hair. Warm amber eyes. “Just not him. Please just not him.”

“I…” The images of the tower swirled around in her head, which she clutched tightly in her hands, trying to rid herself of the memories.

“You were strong enough to resist. It was not your fault what happened to him. To-”

“Please. Stop!” She could not contain the anger or stop the harshness of her tone.

“I am sorry. I thought it would help,” The boy responded with sincerity, “Wait, you will forget in a moment.”

Evie blinked, shaking her head slightly, wondering what she was doing. She looked to her left to see the young boy who had helped them in Haven, he stood before her, studying her carefully.

“I am not what you think I am,” He said, “I am not the same as those you fear.”

“I-what?” Evie exclaimed in confusion, she had not even spoken to the boy and yet he spoke to her as if he already knew her suspicions. Her fears.

“I am not the demons you fear. I will help. There is so much hurt inside you. It will take time. But I will help.” He reached out ot her, wincing as she flinched away from him. “I understand you are afraid. It is natural. But I am not like those. I want to help.”

Evie stood rooted to the spot, her eyes wide as a murmuring of words fell from her lips. She stammered and desperately tried to get a hold of herself, whether it be to flee or stay. Cole reached out again, cautiously, gingerly, and this time she did not flinch as his hands touched hers.

“He is a spirit,” Solas’ calming and soothing voice came from behind. He approached Evie placing a warming hand upon her shoulder and  looked down at the spirit. “Of compassion I believe.”

“I just want to help. Anger, guilt, pain, hurt. I make it go away,” The spirit explained.

“I..um...I-I…,” She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before bending down and looking directly into Cole’s eyes from under the brim of his hat. They were a crystal blue, boring into her as if looking into her soul. He probably was. Yet, there was no trace of corruption, or of malice. They looked human. Straightening up, she glanced over to Solas. He was studying the pair carefully, waiting for her response, his expression unreadable. Solas was right; this boy was no demon. Nor was he fully human however. She would be cautious until she knew more of him, but she found she was not scared. “You’ll forgive me if my past experiences have not made me trusting,” Evie said, her response directed more at Solas than Cole.

Solas frowned, “He has not possessed anyone or anything. He has, as far as I can tell, manifested as a human of his own accord. Trust me when I say he is safe. You have nothing to fear.”

Evie nodded reluctantly, it was true she did trust Solas. The elf had far more experience than anyone on dealings with the Fade, but she couldn’t help but think of the demons she’d encountered over the years, the ones at the Circle. Sighing, she turned to apologise to Cole to see he had vanished, “Oh.”  
“You are lucky. Most he makes forget him. As if he had never existed.”  
Evie mused Solas’ words, “Then we could have spoken before?”

Solas nodded, seemingly pleased Evie was almost accepting of the boy, “It is entirely possible.”

“That would explain how he knew what I was thinking before I’d even thought it.”

 Again Solas nodded, “You should let him help.”

“I….” But Solas was already walking away from her, back to the tents.

It was not long before Cassandra was walking towards her, a steaming bowl of soup in either hand. They ate in practically silence, Evie’s thoughts focused upon Cole, and Cassandra knew her well enough not to pry. Usually, though kind, Cassandra was a little too serious for her liking, but at times like this she appreciated the Seeker’s ability to read her, and not pressure her for answers, unlike a certain dwarf.

They did not rest long. Evie had decided if she never saw snow again she would only be too happy. A little way ahead she could see the Herald and Solas stood atop of a huge mound of snow, both gazing down into the valley. Evie quickened her pace, hobbling to reach the top of the hill where Solas and the Herald stood, her spirits lifting at the grin on Kristoff’s face when he turned to face her and the rest of the Inquisition. The peak of castle towers came into view, rising in her vision as she got closer and closer to the hilltop, until the huge fortress stood before her proudly, enshrouded in the mountain mist.

“Skyhold.”


	7. The Inquisitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I can't believe how long it's been since I last updated and I can only apologise. I just lost inspiration if I'm honest. But I'm determined to keep writing and see this to the end! Thank you to everyone who has been reading so far, and people who are reading now! And thank you for the comments, knowing that people are eager to keep reading is really, really nice :)

After several days trawling through the deep snow and ice, the Inquisition finally had a place to call their own. Kristoff Trevelyan and Solas were the first to cross the threshold of Skyhold, the Herald unable to hold back a gasp. The castle walls towered above them as the pair stepped into the vast courtyard, the rest of the Inquisition trailing behind them. Kristoff could scarcely believe how...perfect this place seemed, it would prove to be a very useful stronghold indeed. The stone walls, mostly still intact, would provide a valuable and probably almost impenetrable defence, the keep large enough to house most of the Inquisition alone, and there was still room for more in a clearing below to the east. Solas gazed around the keep and nodded affirmatively, pleased with his suggestion. There was a hell of a lot of work to be done, however, Kristoff noted, his gaze fixed upon the crumbling bridge above them. The Inquisition was ever growing though, there were plenty of people to help with reconstruction.

He headed for the steps up to the Keep, looking behind him when he reached the top. People were flowing into the courtyard, cheering and chattering happily, celebrating the escape from the mountains. It warmed his heart to know he had lead these people to safety, to somewhere they could call home. He sighed happily, before pushing open the doors to reveal a large hall. The Herald stepped inside, followed closely by Josephine, Leliana and Cullen, Solas and the others staying with the group to help civilians. He could already hear Cassandra’s voice above the ruckus, barking orders, and smiled at the sound. The hall was huge, easily as big as the Chantry at Haven, the ceiling stretching up several floors above them. Piles of rubble littered the floor, many of the pillars that lined the walls in a state of disrepair. Yet Kristoff could picture it now. The grandeur, fires illuminating the room, banquet tables by each wall, the hall filled with people socialising, laughing, chatting. Clearly Josephine was thinking along similar lines.

“Oh imagine how grand this hall will look. We must have a ball, once repairs have been carried out, a banquet to introduce people to the Inquisitions new home,” She cried out jovially, Kristoff could practically see the excitement bubbling from within her. “It is important people still maintain a strong perception of us.”

“One thing at a time Josie,” Leliana replied, inspecting part of the wall, “It could take weeks to restore everything.”

Josephine’s eyes sparkled, “That just gives me more time to plan!”

The other three exchanged worried looks, Maker only knew what their ambassador could be planning.

“We need to conduct a thorough search of the entire castle,” Cullen said seriously, “Me and my soldiers will go ahead and get started.”

Kristoff nodded in agreement, “I shall join you soon, Commander.” Cullen took this as his cue to leave, the three remaining watching his retreating figure.

“I shall get to work calling in any favours, finding any agents to help rebuild,” Josephine announced, scribbling notes hastily.

“Brilliant idea Josephine,” Kristoff said, “Leliana, perhaps you could pull a few strings? Any contacts? We need money now more than ever.”

“Of course Herald, I’ll get to work immediately,” The redhead said, leaving in the same direction as Cullen.

“We shall all meet back here first thing tomorrow morning,” He called after her.

Kristoff and Josephine followed her. The Herald looked out into the courtyard. It seemed even those lagging behind had finally reached Skyhold, and he picked out his friends easily. A Qunari stood out rather starkly after all. He quickly made his way down the steps and towards them. People crowded him, wanting to shake his hand, offering thanks for leading them to safety. Since Haven, the people of the Inquisition had a newfound respect for him, more so than before. They had bowed to him in the mountains, which shocked him greatly. Though he was the supposed Herald, Cassandra and the advisors had usually carried more respect than he.

He finally made it to his group. Iron Bull was enthusing about wanting to take on the Archdemon to Varric and Sera, both of whom looked uncharacteristically frightened. Vivienne was watching everyone patiently, silently in the corner. Solas and Dorian were stood by Evelyn, she was sat upon a rocky ridge, her shirt lifted as the pair inspected her wound. The archdemons claw had carved a long line which curved from the middle of her back, round and down her right side ending just before her navel. It was going to scar. There was no doubt about it. Even if she had allowed it to heal properly, instead of exerting herself on the journey from Haven to Skyhold, he knew she, or any of the other mages, including himself, hadn’t the talent to heal it fully.

Evelyn, Solas and Dorian turned their heads as he approached. Evie got to her feet, flinching, her hand instantly pressing into her injured side and wafting Solas’ hands away as he tried to help her. Dorian laughed at his friend, shaking his head at her stubbornness, before flashing Kristoff a charming grin. Kristoff faltered, his heart thudding as he returned the mages’ grin, no doubt flushing embarrassingly.

“Well I for one am glad we trekked for days through the snow to arrive at a decrepit, old castle,” Dorian said sarcastically to no one in particular.

“Are you kidding Dorian?!” Evie scolded before looking up around her in awe, “This place is amazing. The perfect place for the Inquisition.”

“I thought you were tired of all the snow?” He quipped.

Evie shrugged sheepishly, “Well sure. It would’ve been nice if Skyhold was located somewhere a little warmer than the Frostback…”  
Kristoff laughed, “Glad to see you’re on the mend.”

“Barely feel it,” She said, though Kristoff knew she was lying.

Solas sighed in frustration, “I guess you no longer need my help then.”

“Solas,” She whined.

The elf rolled his eyes but remained at her side, allowing her to lean on him slightly.

“So what’s the plan, Herald?” Varric appeared at his side.

 

***

Evie and Dorian sat atop of one of the battlements and watched as the advisors and Cassandra huddled together, clearly discussing something of great importance.

“Come on, let’s go see what they’re up to,” Evie said to her friend, who groaned.

“It’ll only be about making Kristoff the Inquisitor.”  
Evie gaped at him; this was the first she’d heard of it, “What?”  
“Oh, didn’t anyone tell you? The Inquisition needs a leader, and the others think our Herald is the best choice.”

“Suppose he is a good choice,” Evie agreed, “Who told you that then?”  
Dorian grinned, “No one told me, per say.”

“You were eavesdropping,” Evie said accusingly.

“It’s not my fault Cassandra and the Commander were talking loud enough for me to hear,” Dorian replied innocently.

Evie raised her eyebrows disbelievingly, smiling, before turning her gaze back to the group. The Herald had now joined them and, he and Cassandra made their way up the steps towards the Main Hall. Leliana waited at the top of the first flight, on the small plateau, a sword in her hand. Evie got to her feet, pulling a begrudging Dorian with her, “Come on Dorian, I know you want to see this as much as I do.”  
She dragged him down the stairs to where the crowd had began to gather below where Cassandra, Leliana and Kristoff stood.

“Have our people been told?” Cassandra cried out when Evie and Dorian had reached the edge of the crowd, excitement bubbling.

“They have,” Josephine answered, smiling brilliantly, “And soon the world.”

People were whispering, tittering excitedly to one and other. After Haven, this was the news they needed, they deserved. The hope they’d been looking for.

“Commander, will they follow?” Cassandra called out, her voice bellowing down to them.

Cullen turned to the crowd, his eyes scanning the people. Evie dropped her gaze when his fell upon her and Dorian, looking up through her eyelashes moments later to see if he had gone. “Inquisition will you follow?” He called out.

Evie cheered with the rest of the Inquisition, nudging Dorian playfully when he would not cheer, instead standing haughtily beside her.

“Will you fight?” Cullen raised his arm, shouting out commandingly to the people.

Evie had to admit, she could see how Cullen had become leader of the Inquisition's forces. Even his voice inspired confidence, made you want to cry out at his command.

“Will we triumph!”

The cheers were growing louder and louder still, people rejoicing in the moment.

“Your leader! Your Herald!” Cullen announced, drawing his sword, “Your Inquisitor!”

Kristoff raised the sword Leliana had presented him, a fierce look on his face, causing even more cheers from the crowd. Even Dorian joined in, to which Evie gave him a pointed look. What? He mouthed to her. She shook her head, laughing silently before re-joining the chorus of cries which no doubt could be heard far beyond the castle walls. The crowd dispersed slowly, the newly appointed Inquisitor and his advisors heading up towards the Main Hall. Dorian left Evie soon after to continue arranging the miniature library he had taken upon himself to start on the second floor of the tower. Varric went to talk with the Inquisitor about something, something important but he would not tell Evie the details, much to her frustration. Not yet, he had said, looking down at the ground instead of her face. Now is not the right time.

So she was left alone. Instead she turned her focus to helping with the clearing of Skyhold, for her magic could shift the same amount of rubble as ten men and at half the energy cost. The men and women of the Inquisition were mostly used to her magic now, even going as far as to appreciate the fact it doubled their productivity. By the afternoon, she, two other mages, and a team of twenty men and women had cleared out several rooms on the upper levels overlooking the courtyard. This meant the rooms were no habitable for a number of the Inquisition. Evie was rather exhausted however, much of her magic drained from her. She slumped against a wall on the battlements, looking out into the mountains. Despite her previous opinions on the snow and ice, it was truly beautiful. She had never seen such a view; the mountains rising high into the clouds, the snow glistening in the bright sunlight, and she had travelled plenty. The sounds of footsteps drew her attention away from the magnificent view, and a smile grew on her face as her red headed friend walked towards her.

“Your worship,” She teased in a mock serious voice and curtsied.

“Get up,” The Inquisitor growled, giving her a little shove as he reached her side. “Arse.”

Evie snorted with laughter, and patted him on the back, “In all seriousness though, congratulations Kristoff, you’ll make a good Inquisitor, I’m sure of it.”

Kristoff’s face smile melted into a frown, his eyes became focused, worried, “I hope so.”

“I know so.”

He leaned onto the wall, his head sagging as he looked hard at his hands, “So many rely on me now.”  
Evie placed a comforting arm around him, “Not to make you feel worse, but they’ve been relying on you since long before you became Inquisitor. And you’ve led us well so far, and I’m confident you will continue to do so.”

He placed a hand over hers, smiling weakly at her, “Thank you.”  
“How I acquire some ale and we disappear for a couple of hours? Found a perfect place the other day.”

Kristoff laughed jovially, “That. Would be brilliant.”

“Meet me by the stables in ten.”  
Evie dashed off to the Herald’s Rest, the tavern in Skyhold, and sneakily stole a couple of tankards and a bottle of ale. Kristoff was already waiting when she turned up to the stables and she hurriedly led him to the ramparts and into one of the watchtowers, up two sets of ladders and onto the roof.

“You have no idea how much I needed this,” Kristoff said as Evie popped open the bottle and poured them a glass.

“That’s what I’m here for,” Evie grinned, taking a drink.

“I’m glad you are,” Kristoff replied, taking a swig of his own drink, “Here, I mean. You are a good friend.”

Evie flushed at the compliment, “I try.” She paused a moment, thinking, “You know, I just realised there is very little I know about you. Despite facing several life threatening situations together.”  
“What would you like to know? Though I’ll have to admit up to getting a mysterious green mark on my hand, closing up a huge hole in the sky and facing a darkspawn magister, my life was rather dull.”

Evie giggled, “Family then. What are they like? Any siblings?”

“Three brothers,” He replied, “All older. As you can imagine, it was rather chaotic in our household when all four of us still lived there. They used to come and visit me at the Circle sometimes, they still accepted me despite being a mage, and they are just as supportive now. Along with mother and father.”  
Evie smiled wistfully, “They write to you often then?” He nodded. “That must be nice. It is good they support you. What was life in the Circle like for you?”  
“Boring,” Kristoff chuckled, “I remember I used to terrorise my teacher, Elena. I still wonder to this day how she had the restraint to not kill me. She had the patience of a saint.”

“I can only imagine the things you used to get up to,” Evie giggled, her cheeks already going red from the ale. “Afraid I was rather boring as a child. Study, study, study was my motto.”

“Oh I can believe that,” He bumped her shoulder, grinning playfully.

“Thanks.”  
“All I meant was, you are very talented and it must’ve been due to your hard work,” Kristoff said innocently.

“Piss off,” Evie grumbled, glaring at him. “May the void take you.”

Kristoff sniggered, and soon laughter bubbled from Evie too, growing louder and louder until tears trickled down their cheeks. They clinked glasses and continued laughing and drinking well into the afternoon. For just a couple of hours, they were not part of the Inquisition, Kristoff not the Inquisitor, and Corypheus didn’t exist. They were just two friends having a normal afternoon, watching the world go by.

***

“Who’s the essay to?”

Varric glanced up from his parchment, quill in hand, at his dark haired friend. Evie sat opposite him at one of the tables recently added to the Main Hall. Her smirk was teasing and her eyes lit up mischievously. He rolled his eyes at her and returned to his letter.

Evie’s smirk faded, “You’re really not going to tell me? Awww come on Varric,” She whined.

He sighed heavily and mumbled, “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Evie’s eyebrows knitted together tightly as she wondered what in Thedas Varric was trying to imply. Just who was he writing to? It did the opposite of what Varric most likely intended, and instead spurred on her curiousity. She slowly leaned over the table, trying to go unnoticed and take a peek at what was in his letter. The dwarf unfortunately noticed and snatched the letter away, groaning in frustration.

“Evie please. Just leave this okay?”

Evie begrudgingly obliged and slumped back into her chair and began playing with her magic, making fire dance from hand to the other, making sure to huff loudly every few minutes. Varric ignored her, continuing to scribble hastily, until, two pages later, he had finally finished. Still a little annoyed at Evie’s incessant bothering, he left the table without a word, heading for Leliana. Evie felt a little put out, having not meant any actual harm by her questioning, it was only meant in jest. It was rather strange however, now she thought about it. His behaviour was suspicious to say the least, not to mention the fact Varric never wrote letters of more than a page in length.

“My lady,” She nearly jumped at the sound of the voice and turned to see a scout before her, “This letter has just arrived for you,” The messenger handed her the envelope, sealed with the templar insignia, bowing to her and taking his leave.

She looked at the handwriting on the envelope, frowning quizzically when she did not recognise it, all thoughts of Varric and his letter vanishing. She had a few friends within the Templar order from her time in the Ferelden Circle but many of them had died during Uldred’s reign or in the Blight, and those left she had not spoken with since the disbanding of the Circles. Then her breath hitched as she realised there was one Templar with whom she had wrote to just over a month ago. Before Skyhold. She completely forgotten with the events of Haven. Carver.


	8. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I've been such a shitty updater, I've done two chapters today and I really really hope you'll all like this one :)

Commander Cullen was still half-asleep as he staggered over the bridge towards the Main Hall, the stone cold against his feet. He had been awoken by an urgent knocking, belonging to one of his men. There had been a disturbance in the tower housing many of the Inquisitor’s companions, and that he was to see to it immediately. That was all the man would tell him. Cullen hurried up the tower steps, rather perplexed as to how peaceful everything seemed. He flung open the door to the Companion’s quarters, to see only Varric present, a worried frown on his face.

“What...happened?” Cullen said, breathing heavily from running, “Is everyone alright?”  
“I’m sorry to wake you Commander, but I need your help. I sent the others back to their rooms.”

Screams erupted from one of the bedrooms, a woman’s scream, sending chills down the Commander’s spine. They were filled with pain and fear, and he felt his blood run cold as he recognised them immediately, for he had heard them ten years previous.

“Evelyn…”

Varric visibly cringed as she screamed again, “I sent for you as soon as I could. She keeps calling out for you. I’m sorry I had the messenger lie to you, there’s no immediate danger. But I wasn’t sure if you’d come otherwise. And she needs you Commander. I’ve never seen her this bad.”

Cullen wanted to be annoyed at the dwarf, but he was worried about Evie, and from the use of Cullen’s title rather than nickname, Cullen knew Varric was worried too. He pushed past Varric and into the bedroom.

“Makers breath.”

His breath was drawn from his lungs at the sight of flames, burning their way up her curtains. The air was sizzling with magic, sparking fear in Cullen’s heart. Varric stood at his side, a bucket of water in his hand, “This is also why I called you. I know you are not a templar anymore, but you have experience with this. By the stone, she’s had these nightmare before but I’ve never seen...not like this.”

Cullen gave a grunt in response and hurried to her bedside when Evie gave another moan, leaving Varric to take care of the flaming curtains. Evie was tossing and turning in her sheets, groaning in pain, beads of sweat dripping down her forehead. Cullen gently sat beside her, reaching out to brush her hair from her forehead. He stopped as she began to whimper, her face contorting in pain.

“Please, no. Not him. Take me instead. Leave him be.”

 

***

 

Pain shot through her body, excruciating pain, her body writhing, her back arching. She cried out in agony, but she would not falter; she would not become a demon. The torture, the torment, had been going on for what felt like years, an eternity. She could vaguely hear Irving’s voice, pleading with Uldred to let her go. Uldred released her from his spell and she slumped to the ground, panting, her body weaker still.

“I won’t give in to you!” Evie yelled defiantly, “I would rather die.”

Uldred smiled sickeningly, “I’m sure that can be arranged. But I’m having too much fun watching you suffer. In fact, I think it’s time for me to tell you something, my dear.” He sauntered over to her, kicking her over as she tried to heave herself back up. She rolled over onto her back and Uldred leered at her, “I ran into someone on my way up to you and Irving. A young templar, someone I know you care for.”  
Evie’s blood ran cold.

“Yes,” Uldred seemed almost pleased by her reaction, “Don’t think I’ve not seen the way you two look at each other,” Uldred taunted, hitting her with another of his spells. “He was trying to run away, to to leave you behind. He resisted me, so naturally I imprisoned him if you listen closely you might be able to hear his screams.”

All of Evie’s strength, her determination to refuse Uldred’s taunts fled her body, “No!”

Uldred laughed victoriously, “I knew that would get your attention.”  
“Please. No. Not him. Take me instead. Leave him be.”

“No,” Irving cried, “Don’t listen to him Evelyn.”

“Silence!” Uldred hissed.

“Let him go, please let him go,” Evie wept, “Cullen…I’ll do anything.”

“As you wish,” Uldred smirked, throwing a spell towards her. “Join me.”  
Red hot pain stabbed at her body like knives, she felt the corruption seeping in her pores.

“Evie.”  
In her final moments, she could hear his voice, it taunted her, torture her.

“Evelyn. Evie.”

“No. No. No.” She cried again and again.

“No!” She screamed, bolting upright and colliding into a soft, warm mass. She thrashed as arms encircled her, trying to control her.

“Evie, it’s okay. It’s me. Your safe.”  
She looked up to see Cullen’s face, those golden eyes staring down at her. She pushed him away, scrambling away from him, “You’re here to haunt me. I-” She yelped in surprise as she fell of the end of the bed, entangled in her sheets. Her mind focused as she realised just where she was. It had been just a nightmare. Uldred was long dead. Cullen was safe. She sighed in relief, her body sagging onto the hardwood floor.

She heard Cullen scrambling over to her and his head popped over the edge of the bed, “Maker’s breath are you - Ooof!!”  
The breath was knocked out of his lungs as Evie flung herself onto the Commander, engulfing him in a tight embrace. She clung onto him for dear life and sobbed into his bare chest. Cullen although initially shocked by her reaction, having ignored him for weeks, eventually softened, wrapping his arms around her protectively. Evie clung to him desperately, the memories of her nightmare still fresh in her mind. Cullen tightened his grip around her waist and placed a gentle hand on the back of her head, pulling her in closer. The pair sat, both on their knees, in silence except for the occasional sob drawn from Evie’s chest. Varric, having heard the silence, quickly peeked around the corner of the door. He was not surprised to see the Commander was comforting his friend. His gaze caught Cullen's, and he nodded slightly before quickly making an exit. This was a moment meant for the pair of them. And the pair of them alone. A small smile grew on the dwarfs face as he walked back to his room; maybe this was the start of another romance novel.

 

***

 

Light was beginning to stream in bedroom window, casting an orange glow, as Evie finally ceased her crying. She slowly pulled away, her eyes red from crying, and her cheeks red in embarrassment. Cullen let her pull away and smiled at her. When he spoke his tone was teasing, hoping this would not end in another argument, "Finally stopped have you?"

She flushed an even darker shade of red, and laughed nervously. She fiddled with her night dress, not knowing what to say. He'd stayed with her most of the night without question, despite their previous spat. He was a better person than her and she owed him an apology at the very least.

"I’m sorr-"They both spoke in unison, stopping short when they realised the other was speaking, smiling.

"You...you first," Cullen stammered.

Evie sighed, her gaze turning back to the hem of her dress, "I'm sorry Cullen. More than sorry. I've been well...a massive bitch."

"No, you-"

Evie held up her hand, silencing him, "No. I have. You don’t need to defend me. I’ve treated you terribly. In truth, I was angry at first, but mostly I was ashamed of my behaviour, of the dreadful things I said. Maker, you didnt even know I was alive until a few weeks ago. It should've been a happy time. And I know it’s alot to ask but if you could forgive me...well, that would be pretty great?”

Cullen blinked, astonished, he’d honestly expected to have to grovel for her forgiveness, and here she was hoping he would forgive her. “There is….there is nothing to forgive,” He sat back against the pillows, one leg bent at the knee, propping up his arm, “At least on your part. I, however, have a lot of forgiveness to ask for. That night I left you, the Annulment. I cannot excuse those actions and I want you to know, I am not that man anymore. For years, I was bent, twisted by my fear. I know now, not all mages are evil. You are definitely not evil. And when you returned, when I had you back, I was stubborn. I let my anger get the better of me, let it cloud my judgement….I nearly lost you again in Haven, when the other three came back, and you were not with them...well.”  
“But you didn’t lose me.”

“I was a fool. It would have killed me to lose you again, but even more so to know you could’ve died and our last words were ones of hate and anger. So please,” He gazed at her intently, pleading with his eyes, “Please forgive all I have done.”

Evie had not expected this conversation to go this way, “You know I had an entire speech of apologies to tell you.”  
Cullen chuckled, “Sorry, it was wasted. I could still hear it if you’d like?”

Evie laughed, “When I wrote it down it was twenty pages long…”  
“Maybe another time then.”

“So I am forgiven?”  
“There is nothing to forgive. And I?”  
Evie grinned, “You don’t even have to ask.”

Though her words heartened him, he knew he had much to prove to her, for he, had everything to forgive. But he would. He would prove to her he was not the scared, prejudice templar he once was. Cullen smiled back at her, something he hadn’t done in weeks. He was relieved this had been sorted finally, and they could now celebrate the two of them reunited after all this time. He had so many questions he yearned to ask her; about her life, perhaps she had a family? The thought stirred an uncomfortable feeling in his chest, for reasons which he could not understand. It had been ten years. It was was not unlikely she had a family. Pushing those feelings aside he focused on her, and realised he had not asked her about her dream, or perhaps nightmare was a more appropriate term.

“Do you...I mean, if you don’t mind me asking, do you dream often of the Circle?” Cullen asked softly.

Evie nodded, pulling her knees up to her chest protectively, feeling suddenly vulnerable. “Not as often as I used to. I used to get them every night. I started taking a draught back at the Circle, and then Adan concocted one for me here. But with...everything he has not had time to make me any more.

They’ve been pretty bad ever since we left Haven. But they are not...that is, it did feel unusually real tonight. My nightmares...I always feel some sort of realness to them, but tonight, it was worse. I...umm...I’m glad you were here. Thank you.”  
“It was...it is no problem. May I ask what it was you dreamed of?”  
“When Uldred had captured me…” She would not meet his gaze, she didn’t know if she could tell him. It had been her weakest moment; had the Hero of Ferelden not arrived just after to save them, she could have become a demon.

Cullen nodded in understanding, “I know the feeling. What made this dream particularly bad?”

She whispered it softly, almost too quiet for Cullen to hear, “Because it was when I found out of your...fate. Your cage.”

“M-my...cage?” He could never forget the prison which encased him, left him under the torture of the desire demon. The demon that wore her face, that had tormented him with loving tender words in her voice, and lustful desires he was ashamed to have felt. He wondered if he would ever be able to tell her that it was her image that had plagued his nightmares for years.

“Yes. Uldred told me in hopes to force me to join him.”  
Cullen’s eyes widened in realisation, “Maker’s breath,” He muttered under his breath, before speaking to her, “I heard you mumbling, you said, ‘Leave him be. Take me instead’....you were meaning me?”  
Evie raised her head, her eyes filled with tears, “Yes.”  
“He would’ve made you a demon?!” Cullen’s voice began to raise in anger, how could she have forfeited her soul, her mind, her life for him?

“Yes,” She cast her eyes downward in shame, away from his penetrating stare.

“Why?!” He hissed, taking her by the shoulders, shaking her slightly, “Why would you do that? You know that would’ve been the last thing I’d have wanted.”

“I know. But you tortured...that was the last thing I wanted,” Her voice began to crack as she spoke, as the tears flowed freely down her face.

Cullen immediately took her in his arms, pressing her into his chest. Her shoulders heaved as she tried to control her tears, and she nuzzled her face into his chest. Cullen sighed, his head resting on her shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” She said, her voice muffled by Cullen’s embrace.

“It’s okay,” Cullen reassured her, his temper draining at her shaking form, “I just...promise me you won’t ever do anything like that again, not for my sake.”  
She sniffed, hiccuping slightly from crying, and whispered, “I promise.”

They sat in silence for several minutes, both finally content that the argument between them was over. Cullen however, did still want to get one last thing off his chest.

“I was scared.”  
Evie pulled away, a frown on her face, “Huh?”  
“You asked me, several weeks ago, why I left you in the tower.”  
Her frown melted from her face, “Cullen, you don’t need-”

He held up a hand to stop her, “I feel I owe you this much. I was a coward. No worse than a coward. I was so terrified of what might happen to me if I helped you, so afraid of becoming an abomination...that I abandoned you without second thought. It will always be my biggest regret, my worst memory, my lowest point.”  
“But you’ve learnt from it. You’re a changed man. And I have already accepted your apology. Honestly I forgave you years ago. You cannot torture yourself about it forever. We were young. I was scared too.”

“And that is why I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

Evie grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her, “I’m not going to lie to you Cullen. It has taken me a long time to get to this...frame of mind. But I have forgiven you. And I won’t repeat myself again. You were tortured Cullen, your brain addled by demons. Please forgive yourself.”

Cullen sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair, “I...I’ll try.”

"Good,” Evie replied, smiling at him as she leaned back against the pillows.

Cullen left not long after to catch up on her sleep, once he was fully assured she was well and after asking several times, he finally left her in peace with the promise he would check on her later that day. She was eager to speak with him again; it would be the first time since she had arrived that they would be able to talk properly without one being angry at the other. As always this meant her day dragged while she wished it would end so they could talk.

“He’s probably still working, the man never sleeps,” Dorian commented casually.

He, Evie, Kristoff, Sera and Varric were sat eating dinner in the tavern, waiting for the rest of their friends to arrive.

“Who is?” Evie replied quickly, feining innocence.

“Don’t lie to me,” Dorian smirked, “We all know you want to see the Commander.”  
Evie blushed several shades of red as Dorian and the Inquisitor laughed, Varric and Sera snorting into their meals, “I...he just said he would pop by that was all. We are friends. A friend I haven’t spoken to since I was eighteen, forgive me for being a little eager to catch up.”

“You’ve had several weeks to catch up. You were just being stubborn,” Inquisitor pointed out, his eyebrows raised.  
“He won’t have forgotten, but he’s a very busy man, isn’t he?” Varric commented before Evie could reply. “You should drop in on him instead.”  
“Maybe I will,” Evie announced, getting to her feet.

She ignored the sniggering from Sera and Dorian, the smirk of the Inquisitor and the knowing look from Varric; they were all wrong. She had once held feelings for Cullen, before the uprising at Kinloch Hold, a schoolgirl crush, but they were long gone, like her faith in the Maker. For she could not love someone who had abandoned her so easily. She cringed inwardly at the thought; clearly she had not forgiven Cullen as completely as she had once thoughts. Still, she continued on her way to Cullen’s office, determined to make things between them right. 


	9. A Catch Up and an Unexpected Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all my lovely readers, and for the comments from WardenQueen, Miss_ragdoll84 and Marika_Haliwell! It's awesome you all still are reading and enjoying it after so long since my last update! So thank you, thank you, thank you I really appreciate the support :D   
> I'm hoping to update at least every Friday from now on! Enjoy! :)

Cullen was not in his office. After knocking several times, progressively getting louder, she decided just to open the door and barged in, only to find his desk and his office empty. She had stood there, puzzled for a moment before she realised, if he was working, which he undoubtedly was, there was one other place he was likely to be. She had dashed across the bridge, across the Main Hall, paying no mind to the two gossiping Orlesians who whispered hurriedly as past; she knew many had heard her screams from last night, echoing in the silence. Let them talk. They did not know the horrors she had witnessed.

She ran through Josephine’s office, offering the Antivan a hurried greeting, and finally she arrived at her destination. The door was already ajar. Evie wrapped her fingers around the wood and pushed it open quietly, revealing the Inquisition’s military commander. His back was to her, one hand pressed firmly down onto the map, the other containing a small war piece. She was sure however,  she could imagine the focused look on his face as he mused over their next move.

“I can see you haven’t changed a bit,” Evie teased, leaning against the door to the war room. “Do you ever sleep?”

Cullen turned to her, apparently unphased by her sudden appearance, an amused smile on his face, “Apparently not.” He set down the war piece in his hand and turned his full attention to the mage, “I’m sorry I did not come by earlier. I was...busy.”  
“So I see. Please, don’t let me keep you from your work. I was just looking to talk with you is all, I’m interested to hear what you’ve done the past ten years,” She removed herself from the door, preparing to leave. “But another time, I’ll leave you to your work.” She turned the handle of the door, admittedly a little disappointed they would not be able to talk.

“No!” Evie’s head snapped round at the Commander’s outburst. “I mean...um... stay. We can talk. I’d like to, catch up. I can finish this later on.”

“Are you sure...Cullen?” The name still felt strange on her tongue, especially now it wasn’t used in anger or sadness. She smiled jestingly, “I wouldn’t want to get into trouble for distracting the Commander.”

He laughed lightly, an easy smile falling on his face, “Honestly, I welcome the distraction. Come,” He opened the door for her, indicating she head back through, “We’ll head up to my office. I’m loathe to spend any more time in this room tonight.”

She nodded, “Very well.”

They lapsed into an almost awkward silence as they walked to his tower, only broken by the occasional greeting to people passing by; Solas, Scout Harding, and a very smug Varric. Finally, they reached his office, Cullen opening the door to allow her through.

“Please,” Cullen said, his voice hitching slightly, and he coughed, “Ahem. Take a seat.” He indicated to the chair by his desk, sitting down in the one opposite.

“I guess,” Evie cleared her throat nervously, “I guess we have a lot to catch up on. Ten years to be precise.”

Cullen gave her a small lopsided smile, the right corner of his mouth upturned, his scar crinkling, “Indeed.”  
“You can go first.”

Cullen nodded in affirmation, leaning back in his chair, “Where to begin.”

Evie shrugged, “Kirkwall is where you’ve spent most of your time, it it not? And I’d quite like to hear about my cousin too. If that’s okay,” She added quickly, wanting to avoid any unpleasant memories.

But Cullen agreed. And so he told her of his time in Kirkwall, becoming Knight-Captain, meeting Hawke, and eventually siding with her against Meredith. He did not mention in great detail the horrors he had seen in Kirkwall, or Kinloch Hold, and she did not press him. Mostly she just listened, commenting or nodding in the correct places. It was strange talking with him again. It was almost like talking with a stranger, the ten years apart had clearly separated them more than just physically.

“And did you leave behind a family in Kirkwall?” She half blurted out. The question had been burning at the back of her mind and had left her mouth before she could stop herself.

He did not answer straight away, and Evie felt her face grow warm, wondering if she had overstepped the mark, and cursing herself for her lack of tact. Either he did not notice the blush which rose to her cheeks, or he spared her the further embarrassment of acknowledging it, “No, I did not. I have been, shall we say, rather dedicated to my work. And you?” He hoped his tone had remained casual, conversational, “Have you left anyone behind?”  
Evie laughed nervously, “Maker no. Living as an apostate for a few years isn’t exactly a great way to meet people.” She lowered her gaze, unable to look at him any longer, “Not to say that I’ve been alone for ten years…” She stopped herself quickly, why was she telling him this? “What I mean to say is I’ve not met anyone I’ve wanted to share my life with in a long time.”

Cullen nodded but made no comment. His eyebrows began to pinch in the middle.

“What’s that frown for?”

“I...err...nothing,” Cullen flustered nervously.

“Cullen, you can’t fool me. Come on just tell me,” Evie said exasperatedly.

“I...It’s just. Did you really live as an apostate?”

Evie sighed, running a hand through her hair and pacing back and forth, “It was not my first choice of lifestyle, believe me. I just could not live as a Circle Mage any longer. After I returned from Denerim, once the Archdemon had been defeated, life was torturous for me. You know I enjoyed my life at the Circle before then. I had friends, I had books, I had safety. But that was all gone when I returned. It felt like a prison, trapped by my own memories. Irving tried to help me, he offered to even move me to another Circle, but I knew I would feel the same. Wynne, you remember her right?”  
“The Senior Enchanter who left with the Hero of Ferelden?”

“Yes, she allowed me to travel with her for a time, we attended the College of Magi in Cumberland and I met Leliana. Eventually, Wynne saw I could not return to the Circle, and she allowed me to leave. For the first time in my life, I was free. Away from my haunted memories. I mostly stayed away from civilisation, I didn’t trust myself around others anymore. I didn’t trust anyone around me either.”

Cullen looked uneasy for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. But when he replied his tone was soothing, “I can...understand your feelings. Your resentment towards the Circle. But to become an apostate? Surely there was another solution.”  
Evie lowered her head in shame, “I know. I should’ve tried harder. But I was young. I had seen the dangers magic posed and it had shattered my resolve, shaken my confidence and so like a coward I ran. I ran away from my problems, from everything. I did eventually return to the Circle, you know.” This caught Cullen’s attention, he was surprised to say the least. “Irving was furious. I think Greagoir wanted me made Tranquil.” She shuddered at the thought, Cullen sharing her sentiments. In his opinion, being made Tranquil, while sometimes necessary was a terrible fate, and should only carried out if there is no other option. “I think though, deep down, he understood. Uldred had changed us all. They eventually let me back into the Circle as a mage,” She smiled to herself, “Though I think that was on Irving’s insistence.”

Cullen gave a small chuckle, “He always did favour you.”

“Who wouldn’t?” She shot back, flashing him a smile.

“And then you came here?”

Evie nodded, “After the mages rebelled, I had got back into contact with Leliana after hearing about the Breach, and the Inquisition. I wanted to help. I wasn’t particularly interested in rebelling like the others, nor in waging a war against the Templars. She also told me about Varric, and how they were trying to find Hawke. So I left immediately, Hawke and Carver are the only family I have left. And here we are.”

“For what it’s worth,” Cullen shifted in his chair, leaning forward, his gaze boring into hers, “It must’ve taken great strength and courage for you to return to the Circle. And I am glad that you decided to join us now.”

“As am I.”

They held each other’s gazes but a moment longer before Cullen lowered his eyes, coughing nervously and rubbing the back of his neck, “So I have...um...been meaning to ask. How have you found the Inquisition? Has it met your expectations?”  
Evie gazed out of the window, out onto the courtyard, turning from Cullen and resting her arms against the sill. “It’s everything I had hoped it would be. It is good that for once that I can feel my...talents are helping people, really making a difference to the world. To Thedas.” She turned her head and offered Cullen a brilliant and hopeful smile, “And for once, mages and non-mages are working together, rather harmoniously at that. That is a future I want to live in.”

Cullen eyed her with curiosity, and a hint of admiration. Despite her trauma-some past, the treatment she received because of what she was, she still wanted peace, to change things for the better.

“Cullen?”  
Evie was staring at him intently, waiting on a reply.

“I...ahem..I think that’s a very commendable goal,” Cullen said, clearing his throat, and a rosy tint to his cheeks. “One everyone should strive to.”

She blinked in surprise before a soft smile gaced her face, “Thank you.”

The two sat in silence for a moment, Evie trying to avoid making eye contact. His last comment had been unexpected. She knew he had changed from the mage hating templar he once was, but she had not realised his views were so libertarian.

The sound of his voice snapped her from her thoughts, “Dorian was telling me Carver had wrote to you? I knew him a little, from the Order.”

So Dorian had been talking to Cullen about her. “Yes, not too long ago. He is well, though he could not tell me where he was. I had presumed he was in Kirkwall, Varric told me as much, but it is apparent he has moved. But, he is well,” She spoke as if trying to reassure herself, “And that is the main thing.”

“I am glad to hear it. I admit, I didn’t actually realise the connection between you and the Hawke’s for quite a while. Have you had any contact with Hawke?”

Evie exhaled deeply, shaking her head, “No, no one knows where she is, not even Varric or Carver. It’s like she’s dropped from the face of Thedas.”

“I’d like to think I got to know her quite well from the ten years she spent terrorising Kirkwall,” Cullen smiled a little at the memories he had of the mage, “And I know she’s going to be okay. She can take care of herself.”  
Evie offered Cullen a thankful smile, “I know, I know. It’d just be nice to hear from her.”

“When all this is over, and I am sure I speak for the Inquisitor too, in that we will help you find her,” He offered kindly.

“Thank you, that’s very generous of you.”

“It um...is the least I can do,” He mumbled, “Considering.”

“You know you do not have to do that to earn my forgiveness, I have already told you you have it.”

“Consider it a favour for a friend then.”

Evie couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face, touched by Cullen’s words, “That I can do.”

Cullen returned her smile before staring thoughtfully at her for a moment, studying her face.

“What is it?”

Cullen blinked and chuckled, shaking his in slight disbelief, “I am still...in shock that you do not hate me for all the wrong I have done.”  
“Should’ve seen me ten years ago. I’m pretty sure I had a drawing of you pinned to my wall...with several throwing daggers.”  
His face dropped, his mouth agape, “Maker’s breath! I cannot tell if you are being serious or not?”

She grinned evilly, “You’ll never know. Though I went through a phase in my early twenties where I hated all templars.”

“You know you’ve changed,” He said simply, “You used to be much more studious and severe.”

“Did you really just describe me as severe?”

“I only meant- oh you’re joking.”

“Yes.” She grinned, “I wasn’t that bad was I?”  
“Well, I do recall a number of choice nicknames, some of the other mages used to describe you.”  
They laughed, Evie knowing full well many of the mages had thought her uptight as a child. “Though you did mellow a little as you got older.”

“Remember the time Tristen destroyed one of my books. I was so angry that I used to freeze the ground whenever he walked by. He never failed to fall,” She laughed, Cullen’s laughter joining hers.

The evening continued on, exchanging stories, memories of their pasts, only the good ones of course. It became easier and easier talking to him, the conversation flowing as if the last ten years had never happened. Both of them, however, skirted around the topic of Uldred and the blood mages, neither daring nor wanting to bring it up.

By the time she had bid him goodnight, the candle on his desk was almost burnt out and the darkness had long drawn in. She had leisurely walked back to her room, enjoying the nights cool breeze, feeling more...at ease, more free, than she could even remember feeling. Despite the fact she would deny this to anyone who’d ask, Cullen had been a heavy weight, a heavy burden on her mind.

“I see someone was out late.”  
Evie’s hand froze on the door knob to her room and groaned, knowing she was going to be faced with an unbearably smug dwarf.

“I don’t see how it is any of your concern,” She replied curtly.

Varric grinned, very much looking like the cat who caught the canary, “It’s not. I just want to hear you tell me I was right.”

She rolled her eyes, electing to ignore him and turned back to the door, twisting the handle.

“I’m going to take your silence as your acceptance of my being right,” He called after her as she rushed into her room, slamming the door in his face.

She leaned against the door a moment, allowing herself a small chuckle at Varric before pushing herself off the door and walking towards her bed, taking off her robe, replacing it with her night shirt. She clambered into bed, taking the potion on her bedside and settled down onto her pillows. For once, sleep came to her easily and she drifted off with a small smile on her face.

The night however, was not as pleasant. No worse than usual, just not any better either. Twice she awoke, sweat dripping down her face and her heart hammering in her chest. But on the plus side, she had not set anything on fire in her sleep for quite some time now, and that was an achievement in itself. She awoke that morning to the sounds of construction outside; much of Skyhold was still needing repair. She stretched, yawning widely and stumbled to her feet, over to the window. She frowned. Usually Varric knocked on her door on his way to breakfast, and judging by the sun’s position over the mountains, it was late morning. He must have forgotten, she surmised as she pulled her robe over her head. She hurriedly laced up her boots and grabbed her staff before bolting out of the door. She was supposed to be helping Bull and the Chargers clear out rogue Templars in the Hinterlands for the next couple of days. She hoped she had not made them late.

When she entered the Main Hall, she found it abuzz with chatter and whispers. Curious, she tried to eavesdrop on several of the groups of Orlesians, finally being able to make out the name ‘Hawke’. Her heart began to thud in her chest. Was she okay? Was she here? What if she...No. She wasn’t. She couldn’t be. She needed her. Evie sprinted outside, her eyes scanning the courtyard for someone, anyone. No one. Then she cursed her stupidity. Josephine. She hardly ever left her desk, and she knew everything, and everyone, at Skyhold. Running back through the hall, accidently bumping into a couple of disgruntled nobles, she flung open the door to Josephine’s office.

“Have...you…I mean...is Hawke-” She stammered, her chest rising and falling slightly, before stopping dead in her tracks.

There were two people in Josephine’s office, one with their back to Evie. The woman stood an inch or so taller than her, a staff in her hand, and short choppy brown hair. She turned at the sound of Evie’s voice, Josephine behind her a bright smile on her face.

“Well,” The familiar voice said, her brown eyes alight with happiness, “Finally out of bed I see?”

Evie ignored the woman’s jibe, as happiness welled inside of her, her chest practically bursting and the tears rolling down her cheeks. Evie flung her arms around her, relieved to see her safe and sound.

 “Hawke!”

 


	10. Hawke

“Mari!”

Evelyn charged at her cousin, flinging her arms out wide and tackling her to the floor in greeting. They landed in a crumpled pile on the floor, Josephine jumping to her feet to assess the damage, relieved to see the pair lying on their backs looking at each other before bursting into cackling laughter. Though she was a little concerned as to what she would do if any of the noble dignitaries entered her office to find the Champion of Kirkwall tackled and effectively pinned to the floor by one of the Inquisitors Inner Circle. Still she couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled in her chest; it was touching to see the two reunited.

Evie still couldn’t believe her eyes. Her cousin, Champion of Kirkwall, Marian Hawke, who she had been searching for since she arrived at the Inquisition was here. In Skyhold. Roaring with laughter on the floor of their Ambassador’s office. Evie’s own laughter was not only in joy, but relief. Marian was back with her. Their family, almost, together again. Perhaps she could send for Carver too.

“I can’t believe it’s you, Mari,” Evie said breathlessly after her laughter had subsided, and sat up, resting her arms upon her knees. She bowed her head as she felt the tears prick her eyes, “You’d vanished. No one knew where you were. I dreaded the thought you might be…” She trailed off, unable to say the word.

Hawke stopped laughing and joined her cousin in sitting, “I’m sorry Evie. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way, but I’ve needed to stay hidden for the time being. And I didn’t want you, Carver, Fenris, Varric, or anyone dear to me to be hurt. Besides, I haven’t just been sat on my arse for the past few months, cousin,” Her tone turned teasing, Evie knew she did not deal well with any form of emotional situation; hiding it behind layers and layers of sarcasm.

Nonetheless, Evie played along and rolled her eyes, “I should hope not, you’re the Champion of Kirkwall, I’m sure there’s plenty for you to be getting on with.”

“Oh you know, just preventing an Exalted March on Kirkwall, researching red lyrium and how to defeat a darkspawn magister is all in a days work,” She replied dryly. “Though I see you are managing to keep up, joining the Inquisition, closing the massive shitting hole in the sky, taking on dragons and darkspawn magisters.”

“All in a days work,” Evie mimicked, earning a playful punch from her cousin.

“Mimicry is the highest form of flattery Evelyn,” Hawke said giving her a cheeky grin, ruffling Evie’s hair.

Evie fought off Hawke’s hand and glared at her, “Bugger off. I hate it when you do that.”

Hawke opened her mouth to reply, closing it at the sound of someone clearing their throat. Josephine. The Antivan was smiling down brightly at the pair of them, “I don’t mean to interrupt, Champion, Evelyn, however, I still have some minor issues to discuss with the Champion.”

Evie got to her feet, brushing herself off, feeling a little embarrassed. She had completely forgotten their Ambassador was even there, and had probably made a tiny bit of a fool of herself in front of the woman. Though Josephine appeared completely unabashed at their reunion.

“Of course Josephine. I apologise for interrupting your meeting,” Evie said.

Josephine waved her hand in dismissal, “Oh no need to apologise. I understand how important family is. Especially in such troubled times,” She turned to address Hawke, who had too got to her feet, “I won’t keep you long Serah.”  
Hawke nodded, glancing over to Evie, “Where will you be after?”

Evie shrugged, her mouth twisting with guilty indecisiveness, “I was actually supposed to be going on a mission today. Which I am already late for…”

“I am sure the Iron Bull and the Chargers would not begrudge you time to see your cousin,” Josephine answered kindly, “And I am sure they will manage just fine without you.”

Evie brightened and turned her head to Hawke, “In which case, meet me by the training dummies, and I can give you a tour of Skyhold.”  
Hawke nodded in agreement and Evie left the room, flashing her cousin one last smile, closing the door behind her. She sauntered leisurely through the hall and down the stairs towards the training dummies. As she crossed the courtyard, Varric slammed open the door to the Blacksmiths, storming out with a dark look on his face.

She hurried over to him, concerned for her friend, “Varric?” Her voice filled with worry, “Are you alright?”

The dwarf didn’t respond as he met her gaze, instead his fury melted into a look of pity? Remorse? Evie couldn’t tell and watched helplessly as her friend turned away from her, shaking his head and heading off towards the Battlements.

“Varric?!”

He didn’t turn. Didn’t acknowledge he heard her in any way, leaving her completely and utterly confused, frozen to the spot. Her confusion was further added to when moments later Cassandra walked towards her from the Blacksmiths, her face a mixture of hurt, anger and guilt. The Inquisitor followed soon after, taking after Varric.

“Cassandra? Has something happened? What’s wrong?”  
“I…” She paused, exhaling slowly, “I cannot say. It is not right for me to tell you. Go and see Varric, tell him you deserve to know. As I did. Please, excuse me.”

Without explanation, Cassandra continued on her way leaving Evie dumbstruck. Just what in the Void was going on? She glanced behind her, to the doors of the Main Hall, looking for any sign of Hawke. Hawke could wait. She’d understand. And so Evelyn followed the path Varric and the Inquisitor took moments ago, running up the stairs towards the Battlements. She found the pair in one of the towers, Kristoff appeared to be comforting Varric, mentioning Cassandra. Evie wondered just what exactly Varric had done that was so terrible it had made the Seeker react in such a way. They both turned at the sound of the door creaking open, Evie shuffling inside.

“Sorry,” Evie said guiltily, “I should’ve knocked or something…”  
The Inquisitor looked pointedly at Varric before nodding his head over to Evie, and the dwarf sighed in response but nodded at Kristoff, reluctantly. Evie’s eyes followed Kristoff’s figure as he walked past her and retreated from the room. She snapped her gaze back to Varric. He wouldn’t meet her stare, eyes cast downward, seeming extremely interested in the stone floor.

“Varric, what is it? Are you okay? Why is Cassandra upset, and why does she feel only you can tell me what’s going on?” Evie blurted out the questions, one after another before pausing for breath, hoping to cheer her friend, “You know Hawke’s here right? Just seen her.”

Varric groaned, rubbing his face with his hands and beginning to pace about the room, “Yeah, I know alright.” He paused, inhaling deeply and glancing up at her, “I asked her to come here. To help the Inquisitor.”  
“You asked-?” Evie’s frown deepened before her eyes widened in realisation, and her confusion quickly turned to anger, “You knew!” She pointed accusingly at Varric, who didn’t flinch, instead staring solemnly at the floor, not unlike a child being berated, “You knew where she was this entire time!” Evie’s voice grew louder and louder as her temper blazed, “You lied to me!” This time Varric did flinch, trying to splutter out some form of apology, but Evie continued to vent, “I understand not telling Cassandra, but me Varric! Why did you keep it from me?! You’re supposed to be my friend, Hawke’s friend and you kept us apart! I told you how important she was to me!”

Varric finally got time to speak when Evie soon ran out of steam, “I was being Hawke’s friend! She asked me to keep this from everyone. Even you.”  
This stopped Evie in her tracks. “What?!” Evie spluttered. She couldn’t believe Hawke would hide her well being from her. Did she not realise how much Evie had suffered, wondering if her cousin was still alive. “She knew. She knew I was here? Looking for her?”

“I did.”

The pair turned to the doorway, where Hawke stood. Evie immediately rounded on her, “Why?! I was so worried about you! I didn’t know if you okay! Fucking hell Hawke, I didn’t even know if you were alive!”

“I know, I know Evie,” Hawke’s words were weary, and it was only then Evie noticed how drained she looked as she slouched against the wall, as if her own legs were unable to hold her up. “I’m sorry. I had my reasons.”

Evie’s fury soon evapourated when she saw the dark rings under her cousin’s eyes, the downward turn of her lips, the slightly unhealthy prominence of her cheekbones. Things she had not noticed earlier, things she had overlooked in her joy to see Hawke. She had obviously been through a lot these past few months too.

“I...see,” Evie said lamely to Hawke and turned to Varric, “I know you had Mari’s interests at heart, but it would’ve been nice to know she wasn’t dead. However, I really do apologise Varric for getting angry, I know you were just trying to help.”

Varric shrugged his shoulders, sighing and offered her a small smirk, “Don’t worry about it. I know I’d be the same if it were reversed.”

“Now how about we have a big hug and everyone can play happy families,” Marian Hawke commented sarcastically, immediately diffusing the stressful situation, all three of them breaking into laughter.

“I have an excellent idea,” Varric announced, “How about we celebrate this momentous occasion with a round of drinks?”

Evelyn quirked an eyebrow, “Why does that seem to be your suggestion for everything?”

“Because Twinkles, there isn’t anything a cold tankard of ale can’t fix.”

Hawke laughed, “That sounds like a great plan to me Varric. Just like old times.”

Varric’s eyes twinkled with amusement as he recalled the many, many hours he and Hawke had spent in the Hanged Man. “Just like old times.” The pair walked side by side from the room, leaving Evie to follow.

“But it’s only just gone noon!” Evelyn called in protest, running after them.

 

***

  
  


They didn’t head straight for the tavern, thankfully, instead Evie and Varric showed Hawke around the large Keep of Skyhold. It felt wonderful, the three of them together again. Evie didn’t think she’d seen Varric this happy in a long time, certainly not since she’d join the Inquisition.

By the time they’d reached the tavern, news of Hawke’s arrival had spread and it was packed with people, eager to meet the Champion of Kirkwall. Particularly the mages, interested to meet someone who had fought for the mages of Kirkwall so vigorously. Leaving Hawke chatting with a couple of enthusiastic mages, Varric and Evie were called over to a table where Iron Bull and the Chargers sat.

“I’ll get drinks,” Evie said, counting heads.

“You sit yourself down,” Iron Bull said, his voice booming over the noise of the tavern, pressing a hand to Evie’s shoulder, “I’ll get them.”

She did as she was told, taking a seat beside Varric, who was already deep in conversation with Stitches and Dalish.

“Maker,” Came Hawke’s voice from the throngs of people, “Thought I’d never get away.” She threw a glare at Evie and Varric, “Thanks for abandoning me by the way.”  
“No problem,” Varric grinned, as Hawke slid into a seat beside him.

The Iron Bull returned with their drinks just as the Inquisitor and Dorian arrived. Evie couldn’t help but smile at the pair. She knew Kristoff cared for the mage, and she was fairly certain Dorian felt the same way. She’d seen the glances Dorian had sent him when he thought no one was looking. If anyone deserved happiness it was Kristoff, he’d been through enough hardship to have earnt it.

“I see someone’s happy,” Kristoff drawled, taking the chair beside Evie.

It was true, Evie didn’t think she had stopped smiling since their tour of Skyhold. Words could not describe how happy, how relieved, she was to have Hawke back safe and sound.

“I’m glad,” He added, bumping her shoulder. “Now we just need to defeat the Darkspawn Magister and his pet dragon and everything will be splendid.”  
Evie gave a small giggle and grinned at Kristoff before taking a swig of ale. The liquid flowed smoothly down her throat and warmed her belly, she sighed, truly and utterly content.

They continued drinking into the evening, many of the Inquisition coming and going, once they had seen the Champion of Kirkwall of course, and soon only their table and one other remained. Other members of the Inner Circle had joined them; Blackwall, Sera and Cole, Josephine and Leliana had joined them after dinner, dragging Cullen along with them. Only Cassandra, Solas and Vivienne were absent. Evie was not surprised by the latter two, for she could not imagine the elf or the Iron Lady enjoying this type of socialisation. However, she did miss Cassandra’s presence, though she presumed the woman was still upset over Varric’s deceit, and suddenly felt incredibly guilty. She had been so caught up in Hawke’s arrival, she had forgotten to check on her friend, to comfort her if needed.

Varric, too, seemed to noticed and got to his feet, “Would you excuse me for just a moment. There’s someone else who should be here.” Without another word he left the tavern in search of Cassandra.

Evie prayed the Seeker would be in better spirits than she was this morning, perhaps her temper had cooled. She distracted herself by chatting animatedly with Hawke, Josephine and Leliana about the adventures her and Hawke had shared in Evie’s brief time in the outskirts of Kirkwall. It felt as if it was only yesterday, she had been camping out along the Wounded Coast.

“Oh Maker, do you remember when we set up Aveline and Donnic?” Hawke laughed.

Evie snorted loudly before bursting into laughter, “Real nice night for an evening,” She mimicked, once she’d stopped laughing.

The door to the tavern opened and the four of them turned, all smiling as they saw Varric had returned, Cassandra at his wake. Varric winked at Evie, flashing her a brilliant smile. Clearly the two had managed to make amends. Josephine waved the Seeker over and she joined the four of them, Varric sitting with Dorian and Sera. Evie offered Cassandra an apologetic smile and gave her arm a comforting squeeze. Cassandra nodded in response, taking a drink from the tankard Leliana had just passed her.

“So,” Cassandra began, hoping to defuse the slight tension. Neither woman knowing what to say. “You and the Commander are...old acquaintances?” Cassandra inquired politely, making conversation, though doubtless she already knew the answer from the gossiping Orlesians. Maker, take them. Evie thought bitterly.

Evie looked over at Cullen, who was sat, deep in conversation with the Inquisitor. Kristoff appeared rather bored, his chin propped up by one arm. No doubt he was listening to one of Cullen’s very long strategic plans. Whilst it could be said his plans were a little dull and take several hours to explain, Evie liked the spark that appeared in his eyes. His passion for his work evident. It was one of her favourite qualities about the man. He must have sensed her gaze for he turned his head towards her, flashing her a small smile.

“More than acquaintances I’ve heard,” Iron Bull chipped in, draining his tankard, sharing an amused chuckle with Krem.

Evie elbowed him roughly, probably hurting herself more than it did Bull, “We were friends in the Circle. Something that was not common, I know. Templar and mages weren’t supposed to mix.”

“How did you meet?”

“I think I was around fifteen, Cullen was eighteen. It was his first station. I was sat in the library, after hours. Usually I was a stickler for the rules as a child, but the library after curfew was somewhere I could go and be alone. Without some templar knowing my every move. Or so I thought,” Evie glared at Cullen, who was walking over to their table, the Inquisitor, looking rather relieved, by his side.

“What have I done now?” Cullen asked warily, taking a seat beside Cassandra.

“Evelyn was telling us of how you two met,” Cassandra explained.

 Cullen laughed as he fondly remembered their first meeting, “I remember you jumped several feet into the air. I thought you were going to set me on fire.”

Evie snorted, “Wish I had. I wasn’t used to breaking the rules,” She added as Cullen, Kristoff and Bull laughed at her expense. “And let’s not forget your embarrassingly awkward introduction...S-s-ser C-c-c-ullen.”

It was Cullen’s turn to flush, the rest of the group laughing at his expense. Cullen pouted, sipping his drink in silence.

“Well at any rate, I am glad this disagreement has been sorted,” Cassandra said to no one in particular, “Now the Commander will stop hounding me for information on Evie’s well being every single time we leave Haven.”

Cullen choked on his ale, coughing and spluttering, thumping his chest. Evie’s mouth opened in surprise, her eyes wide at the Commander. A moments silence came from their companions before they all burst into laughter. Evie’s mouth closed and her face warmed when Cullen would not meet her gaze. Her eyes darted to Hawke who was sat chuckling, wiggling her eyebrows at her cousin, a large smug smirk on her face.

“You are always so tactful Seeker,” Varric laughed, a tone of almost admiration in his voice, clearly enjoying Cullen and Evie’s flushed faces.

“Thank you for that Cassandra,” Cullen murmured dryly, before downing his drink and trying to mask his embarrassment.

“How very sweet of you Commander,” Leliana commented, grinning mischievously.

Cullen groaned, knowing Leliana would be unbearable in war meetings after this. Attention turned to the Inquisitor who was now challenging Bull and Krem to a drinking competition. Evie nudged Cullen’s elbow with hers lightly, grabbing his attention and gave him a small smile. He returned it, the right corner of his mouth upturning slightly. The gesture sent her stomach lurching, as pleasurable tingles covered her skin. She shook herself lightly and downed her drink, blaming the alcohol in her system for her reaction. She was spared any further thought by Hawke, who had sauntered over taking a seat beside Cullen.

“What ever happened to your curls Cullen?” Marian asked casually, leaning back on her chair.

“I was wondering this myself,” Evelyn agreed, giggling drunkenly, “Did you know Varric calls him Curly, Mari?”  
“He does not!” Hawke laughed loudly, “Tell me Cullen do you use some form of gel?”  
“Wax?”  
“Poultice?”

Apparently Cullen had had enough of their teasing, “Maker’s breath. Do you two not have more important things to discuss?”

The two exchanged glances before replying in sync, “No.”

Cullen sighed wearily and rolled his eyes, “Very well, I should take my leave. Maker knows how much paper work I have to be getting on with.”

Evie frowned and grabbed his wrist as he made to leave, subconsciously rubbing the soft skin under his wrist, “Awww please stay Cullen. You hardly ever drink with us. Pleeeasssseee?” She looked up at him pleadingly.

He sighed again, but nonetheless grabbed his and Evie’s tankards and headed for the bar without a word. Evie hummed happily, smiling until she caught the knowing look on Hawke’s face.

“What?” She asked innocently.

“We’ll talk about that,” Hawke looked pointedly at Cullen, “Later.”

Ears burning, Evie was relieved when Cullen sat back down, so she could drown herself in alcohol and hopefully forget her embarrassment. She had definitely had enough of that for one evening. The conversation flowed easily between the three of them, though they avoided the topic of Kirkwall, instead focusing on the Inquisition and it’s accomplishments so far.  

It was at least midnight by the time people began to retire for the night. Evie was keen to help when she realised Hawke hadn’t decided whether to stay in Skyhold.

“Mari, you can stay with me,” Evie announced, grabbing her cousin’s hand, “No buts.”

“But-”  
“Ah ah aahhh,” Evie waggled her finger, swaying rather drunkenly, “What did I just saaayyy?”  
“Fine,” Hawke conceded, she grabbed Evie’s arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, “I doubt you’d be able to get to your room without help anyway.”

“Will you be alright?” Cullen appeared at Hawke’s side, looking concerned.

“Don’t worry Cullen,” She waved him off, “I’ll be fine. Nothing is worse than dealing with a drunk Merrill.”

This drew a chuckle from the Commander, “I don’t doubt that.”

“‘Night Cullen,” Evie slurred sleepily.

“Goodnight Evelyn.”  
Cullen bid Hawke goodnight and left the pair, heading for his office.

“Well let’s get you to bed,” Hawke announced, tightening her grip on her cousin’s arm. She half laughed as she heard snores coming from Evie and looked to see she had fallen asleep on her shoulder, her mouth hanging open. Maker was she going to feel it in the morning.


	11. The Warden Contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any in game scenes/speech obviously belongs to Bioware. Hope you enjoy this next chapter :)

Evie placed the last of her potions into her satchel and fastened the opening closed. She picked the bag off of her bed and slung it over her right shoulder, grasping her staff from the wall, where it stood propped. They were heading to Crestwood. Her, the Inquisitor, Dorian, Varric and Blackwall. Hawke was meeting them there, she had gone ahead to scout out the cave where her Warden friend was. Evie left her room, feeling as she always did before leaving Skyhold; a little sad to be leaving the room she had come to call hers, and made her way down the tower steps. She headed out onto the Battlements for one last walk around Skyhold before they left for Crestwood. Kristoff and the Advisors had no real idea as to how long they would be away. She didn’t know when the next time she would be in Skyhold, able to walk along its walls. It was all dependent on exactly what Hawke’s Warden had to offer.

A figure caught her eye as she walked the Battlements, striding across the gardens and into the small room that had become Skyhold’s chantry. She found herself curious as she headed down the stairs towards the Courtyard and up towards the Main Hall. Following in the man’s footsteps, she crossed the garden and stopped at the wooden door, which had been left ajar. She pushed it open. The Chantry was as quaint as she had expected, considering the size of the room. Three rows of pews lined the walls on either side, with a deep red carpet down the centre. Andraste’s figure stood tall, overbearing at the far end of the room, surrounded by candles. A shiver went down Evie’s spine and she wrapped her arms around her body. Before Haven, she had not stepped foot in a Chantry for years, and she still found herself uneasy. Whether from her shaken faith or the fact it had reminded her too much of Cullen and the Circle, she didn’t know, most likely a little of both.

Cullen was bent down on one knee in front of Andraste, his head, enshrouded by his mass of furs around his collar as it bent in prayer; Evie could hear the mumblings of the chant. She stood for a minute or two, just watching him, not knowing what to say.

“How do you do it? Pray to the Maker after...everything,” Evie asked finally, taking a deep calming breath, as she fully entered the Chantry, dropping her bag by the door.

Cullen finished his prayer before turning to her, looking at her over his shoulder, “It is my belief in the Maker that has kept me sane. Kept me from straying from my path.” He got to his feet and walked over to her.

“I want to believe the Maker is good. I used to believe he was good,” Evie admitted, her eyes dropping from his amber ones. She felt ashamed, in his presense, of her lack of faith, when his was completely unwavering, “But how can I put my faith in someone who allowed Uldred’s plans to occur, all those demons that poured from the Breach...Why would He let it all happen? And the Chantry...they teach people fear me.”

Cullen regarded her closely, his expression pitying, “And very wrongly so. Some members of the Chantry have lost their way. Just as you have lost yours. I’ll help you in any way I can. If that is what you want.”

“I…,” His offer had left her stumped.  _Did she want to return to the Maker, to the Chantry, after everything?_   “I admit, I am not entirely sure.”

“If you ever decide it is something you wish to pursue, you need only ask.”

“Thank you,” Evie replied genuinely.

“You are leaving today.” The words more of a statement than a question.

She nodded, “Yes, I err…” Pink tinted her cheeks, “I saw you from the Battlements, and I just wanted to umm...say goodbye.” She muttered and laughed a little nervously.

“Ah. Well...I shall see you when you return.” Cullen smiled warmly at her, sending a smile onto Evie’s own face, “Come, I’ll walk you to the stables.”

Cullen moved aside to allow Evie to pass. She stepped by him and out of the Chantry, picking up her satchel she left by the door, Cullen following close behind. He took place by her side and the pair walked through Skyhold to the stables.

“Maybe ummm,” Cullen began slowly, “Maybe when you get back we could...have a game of chess? Remember? Like we used to.”

Evie’s eyes lit up and she gave a small chuckle, “I remember kicking your ass.”

She heard Cullen sigh, as if in relief, before he replied, “I don’t think you’re recalling that correctly, it was me who was doing the...ahem ass kicking.” Cullen didn’t turn to face her, but she could see the upturn of the right corner of his mouth. He was smirking at her, teasing her.

She laughed happily, “Maybe. But at least I could beat you at cards.”  
He gave a huffed chuckle, “That is not saying much considering most used to beat me at cards. I’ve gotten better, I assure you.”

“Maybe we could have a game of cards then too?” Evie wondered, “When I return.”  
“I would like that.” This time Cullen did turn to face her, the adorable gentle smile on his face made Evie lose her train of thought.

“I...errr-I-I would like that too,” She said, stumbling over her words as her brain tried to catch up with her mouth. “I’ve missed this,” Evie hummed happily, her face practically glowing. It was so easy their friendship, just how it used to be in the Circle. _I’ve missed you._  Evie added in her own thoughts.

“Me too,” Cullen admitted, coming to a halt.

Evie blinked; she had not realised they had already reached the stables, and was, she hated to admit, a little disappointed. She looked up at Cullen, the templar standing awkwardly, “Well, Commander. Thank you for accompanying me. It was nice to just talk.”

“I...it is no problem, Evie.” He gave her the most dazzling smile. The scar on his top lip rose as his face lit up with happiness, his eyes appeared as if molten gold; warm and sparkling, as he gazed down at her, the wrinkles, evidence of the traumas he had faced, vanishing in his smile. It almost took Evie’s breath away, made her knees weak.

“Evie is it now, Commander?” Drawled a voice.

Evie’s face twitched in annoyance, groaning inwardly, and saw over her shoulder the Inquisitor walking towards her. Cullen stood, looking much like he wished the ground would swallow him whole, “I...yes...well may the Maker watch over you on your journey. Farewell Inquisitor, Amell.”

The Inquisitor just shook his head, his shoulders too shaking with laughter as he passed Evie into the stables, clapping a hand to her shoulder. Evie’s gaze focused on Cullen as she watched him shuffle away nervously, no doubt she could imagine with a face red as a tomato. A tiny grin grew on her face as she watched him leaving, and she bit her lip as her heart fluttered her chest.  _Maker’s balls, he was utterly adorable._  She shook her head. Hard. She shouldn’t be thinking that. He’s her friend. Shit, the things they had gone through...friends was all it could ever be.

“I saw that.”

“Shit Dorian, you scared me,” Evie breathed, her hand on her chest.

“So when you said you were old friends, what you really meant was you wanted his, no doubt beautifully muscular, body naked in your bed.”

“Dorian!” She hissed, smacking him in the chest with the back of her hand.

“Go on, deny it.”  
“I do not want the Commander in my bed, naked or otherwise,” She replied defiantly, “And I am certain the Commander feels the same way. We are friends Dorian, nothing more.”  
“You keep telling yourself that,” Dorian grinned, wrapping his arm around her and leading her into the stables.

Blackwall was already upon his horse when they entered but it did not take them long to get saddled up, Varric joining the four of them moments later. Josephine stopped by to wish them good luck, waving goodbye as they left Skyhold, and Evie could’ve sworn Blackwall had just the lightest shade of pink tinting his cheeks.

 

***

 

 The rain drummed down upon the ground, forming large puddles in the hollows and cracks of the rocky road that led up to Crestwood. A thick mist enshrouded the village and surrounding area, blocking out the sun and casting Crestwood in darkness. There was distinctive chill in the air, the area silent apart from the sound of the raindrops crashing against the stone.

Evie pulled her cloak tightly around her, the hood barely preventing the rain from dripping onto her face, and she slouched on her horse, Chip, feeling thoroughly done with the weather. Everything was damp and sodden, her robes, her shoes, even her socks. She kept her head down as the Inquisitor led them up towards Crestwood village, though occasionally she glanced either side of the road, searching for any signs of the undead. Scout Harding had told them of the rift beneath the lake, which seemed to be connected to a large number of the undead, rising from the lake itself. It sent a terrible chill down Evie’s spine. The presence of undead only added to the eerie aura the place gave off.

“There!”

Evie’s head snapped up at the panic in Kristoff’s voice and saw his arm extended, pointing just a little way ahead. There were several figures in the mist, who appeared to be attacking what looked to be the gates of Crestwood Village. She urged Chip forward, coming alongside the Inquisitor.

“What is it? Who are they?” She asked, the mist still hanging heavy in the air.

“I don’t think it’s a question of who, but what,” He replied gravely.

Evie squinted, and gasped in horror as the mist thinned as they approached, revealing the figures were in fact skeletons. The undead. Their clothes ragged and ripped, hung from their skeletal frames. Each clutched a weapon of some sort, a sword, a dagger, an axe. One of them heard their approach, it’s head snapping round in their direction with inhuman speed. It’s mouth hung open, it’s jaw slack, and it’s eyes, now focused upon them, were hollow, empty.

Kristoff immediately jumped from his horse, swung his staff and slammed it to the ground. Ice encased the creature, keeping it in place. However, this alerted the other undead and they changed their course, now heading for them. There were two people shouting to them, villagers, Evie presumed. Evie, too, dismounted from Chip, placing one hand upon his neck and telling him to stay put before brandishing her own staff. She ran forward, Bull and Blackwall overtaking her and each bringing down their respective weapons into the nearest creature. Behind her, Dorian cast a barrier around them, the blue glow flaring around them. Evie began twirling and spinning her staff, sending a barrage of lightning towards the undead as darts from Bianca flew past her. But, it seemed to have very little effect upon them, and instead Evie conjured a ball of fire, throwing it towards one skeleton which was almost upon Blackwall. The fireball burst upon contact, setting the creature aflame and it fell to the ground within seconds, a pile of ash was all that was left. Blackwall nodded at her in thanks and continued surging forward to the gates.

It did not take them long to clear the area, the two villagers who manned the gates aiding them in the battle.

“Thanks for the help,” The archer said, panting heavily, “But I fear we ain’t seen the last of them.”

“They’ve been coming up from Old Crestwood,” The other added, picking up his dagger.

Kristoff’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully, “Did they start to appear with the rift in the lake?”  
They nodded, confirming what they suspected, that the rift was the cause of the undead.

“And your Mayor, your leader, where are they?”

“He’s up in the house at the very top of the village, can’t miss it.”

With a nod of thanks, Kristoff collected his horse, Evie and the others following suit, and the five of them headed into the village and up towards the Mayor’s house. Only Kristoff and Dorian went inside, the others electing to wait by the door.

“Andraste’s arse, this place is creepy,” Varric said, rubbing his arms for warmth and comfort.

“And the weathers shite,” Bull added, “Reminds me of the Storm Coast.”

Evie looked around, as she absentmindedly rubbed Chip’s nose gently. Most of the houses were boarded up, people mostly remaining indoors for protection. Those that were wandering the village avoided their gaze, quickly hurrying along as they passed, only a couple of the villagers spoke to them, begging for help.

“These poor people,” She said remorsefully, “We need to help them.”

“We’ll have to see what the Boss wants to do. But aye, I agree.”  
“We can’t exactly hold off meeting Hawke either,” Varric added.

“Well after then,” Evie insisted, “I’ll stay, even if no one else will. They need our help.”

The door swung open to the Mayor’s house, Dorian and Kristoff emerging. Evie shifted to face them, awaiting their orders.  

“So it appears there is a dam that will drain the lake, but the path to the dam leads from a Keep which is currently inhabited by bandits,” Kristoff told them.

“Nothing’s ever easy it is?” Varric ommented dryly, earning a chuckle from the other four.

Kristoff gave the dwarf a wry smile, “Apparently not. We need to clear out these bandits and then tackle the rift. But, first we find Hawke and this Warden contact of hers. That is our priority right now.  _Then_ ,” He emphasised after receiving a glowering look from Evie, “We will close the rift in the lake. So saddle up.”

Thankfully, the group did not run into many enemies on the path to the cave where Hawke was waiting for them. They made short work of the bandits and undead they did encounter, Evie was barely breaking a sweat when they reached the Inquisitions encampment. Judging from their map, the cave was merely over the next hill.

“We’ll leave the horses here,” Kristoff ordered, handing his reins to one of the Inquisitions scouts.

Evie, too, handed her reins to one of the scouts, and started up the hill with Kristoff, the other three not far behind.

“What are you expecting from Hawke’s Warden contact?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure,” Kristoff admitted, running a hand through his wet hair, “Hopefully, he or she will have something on Corypheus. Ideally, a way to defeat him.”

“Let’s hope so,” Evie breathed softly, offering him a weak smile and giving his hand a quick squeeze. She could see the stress in his eyes, hear the worry in his voice, despite his nonchalant attitude.

“There’s Hawke,” Kristoff pointed to a woman just ahead, her furred armour unmistakable.

Evie’s face brightened for the first time since their arrival in this miserable place, and she pushed her sopping hair out of her face and ran to Hawke.

“Glad you made it. I just got here myself. My contact with the Wardens should be at the back of the cave,” Marian Hawke greeted them, hugging her cousin tightly.

“A group of Wardens were protecting the villagers from corpses out near Crestwood, Mari,” Evie informed her, pulling away.

The Inquisitor, Dorian, Blackwall and Varric finally reached them, Dorian trying desperately to arrange his hair, finally out of the rain.

“They were likely hunting my friend, I’m glad they didn’t come looking for people to help in here.” Hawke sighed irritably, “They might well be good men. But they’ve been given bad orders.”  
  
Kristoff agreed, nodding his head reluctantly, “I only hope they have not gone so far we cannot help them.”

Hawke looked skeptical, her mouth pulled into a tight line and her eyebrows raised, but didn’t say a word. Evie frowned slightly, left to wonder just what her cousin disliked about the Wardens.

“After you Inquisitor,” She said, allowing him to pass.

“You okay?” Evie asked Hawke, eyeing her warily as they headed into the cave. “You don’t seem too impressed with the Grey Wardens.”

“I’m just worried. I’ve seen what Corypheus did to them before, it would be disastrous if that happened now. We don’t need a Warden Army on our hands.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” Evie agreed hastily.

She and Hawke entered the main chamber of the cave and Evie gasped when she saw a man stood before them, his sword extended towards the Inquisitor threateningly. Though she relaxed, her hand that was reaching for her staff dropping, as she saw the blue and white of the Warden armour.

“It’s just us. I brought the Inquisitor,” Hawke declared, walking over to her friend and the Inquisitor.

The man nodded, dropping his sword, “My name is Stroud. And I am at your service, Inquisitor.”

Evie took a few steps further into the cave, much like the rest of Crestwood it was dark and damp, lit only by a few scattered candles. The Grey Warden stood, as most did, a fair bit taller than her, his hair dark, shaven at the sides, and his stare hard, unwavering. Though he had one particular identifiable feature.

“Say what you will about the Wardens,” Evie murmured out of the corner of her mouth to Varric, “But it is very apparent they can grow amazing facial hair,” Evie nodded to Blackwall and then Stroud. “That is one impressive mustache.”

Varric stifled his laughter behind his hand, glancing up at her with amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“I’ll take all the help I can get. I know the Warden’s have troubles of their own,” Kristoff told the Warden Stroud. “I wonder though might those troubles have anything to do with Corypheus?”  
  
Stroud grunted in agreement, “I fear it is so. When my friend Hawke slew Corypheus, Weisshaupt was happy to put the matter to rest. But an archdemon can survive wounds that seem fatal, and I feared Corypheus might posses the same power. My investigation uncovered clues but no proof. Then, not long after, every warden in Orlais began to hear the Calling.”  
  
“Maker why didn’t you tell me?” Hawke demanded, sounding a little hurt.

“It was a Grey Warden matter. I was bound by an oath of secrecy.”

“Is the Calling some kind of Grey Warden Ritual?” Kristoff asked, befuddled by the Warden terminology.

“The Calling tells a Warden that the Blight will soon claim him. Starts with dreams, then come whispers in his head. The Warden says his farewells and goes to the Deep Roads to meet his death in combat.”

Hawke’s eyes widened in a mixture of horror and dread, “And every Grey Warden in Orlais is hearing that right now? They think they’re dying?”

“Yes, likely because of Corypheus. If the Warden’s fall, who will stand against the next? It is our greatest fear,” Stroud said gravely.

“So Corypheus isn’t controlling them. He’s bluffing them with the calling, and they’re falling for it,” Hawke remarked, folding her arms across her chest in disapproval.

Kristoff paused thoughtfully for a moment, before continuing his questioning, “Is the Calling they’re hearing real, or is Corypheus mimicking it somehow?”

“I know not. Even as a senior warden, I had heard only the vaguest whispers of Corypheus. The wardens believe that this calling is real, and they will act accordingly. That is all we know for now.”

“You said all the Warden’s are hearing the calling does that include you? And also you Blackwall?” Kristoff turned to his companion, worry forming a crease across his brow.

Evie cast a curious look at their Warden comrade too, wondering how long he been hearing this Calling and struggling with it alone.

“Sadly yes,” Stroud answered, “It lurks like a wolf in the shadows around a campfire. The creature that makes this music has never known the love of the Maker but...at times, I almost understand it. We must uncover what Corypheus has done and end it. This cannot stand.”

“I do not fear the calling, and worrying about it only gives it power,” Blackwall added with a gruff determination, “Anything Corypheus does will only strengthen my resolve.”

“How can Corypheus make all these wardens hear the calling?” Evie wondered aloud.

“I cannot say, we know little about him. Save that he is dangerous. He is a Magister as well as a Darkspawn--and speaks with the voice of the Blight. That lets him affect the minds of Wardens, since we are tied to the Blight ourselves. It must be how he created this false Calling.”  
  
“So the Wardens think they’re dying and have stopping thinking clearly? That won’t go well,” Kristoff sighed, his voice filled with a weary sarcasm.

“We are the only ones who can slay the Archdemon. Without us, the next Blight will consume the world,” Stroud began pacing furiously, back and forth, back and forth. “Warden-Commander Clarel spoke of a Blood Magic Ritual to prevent future Blights before we all perished.” Evie’s fists tightened by her side, anger blooming in her chest at the mention of blood magic. She saw, or rather felt, Varric’s cautious gaze upon her, but she held her tongue. It was not her place to say or comment on the Warden’s doing. At least not for the moment. “When I protest the plan is madness, my own comrades turned on me.” He pointed to the map in the center of the room, “Grey Wardens are gathering here, in the Western Approach.” Stroud walked past them and towards the entrance of the cave, “It is an Ancient Tevinter Ritual Tower. Meet me there, and we will find answers.”

He left them without another word. Evie stood stewing, her fury emanating from her very pores. Kristoff sensing her temper, quickly took action, “Come on, let’s get out of this cave and see what we can do for Crestwood.”

Evie nodded, her jaw clenched. She needed to take her anger out on something. Bandits and demons seemed like a good place to start.

 

 


	12. The Western Approach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late posting of this chapter, but I've had a personal issue to deal with this week and haven't really felt like writing. Hope it is still an enjoyable read :) Thank you to everyone who is still reading :)

The renovations at Skyhold had been completed finally during their stay in Crestwood. The Keep stood tall, ready to defend any who attempted to breach its walls. Evelyn could not help but gasp at its grandeur as they entered from under the Portcullis. With the scaffolding and rubble removed, one could thoroughly appreciate the beauty of Skyhold, the stained glass windows of the hall, refracting in the sunlight, the crimson leaves blowing gently in the winds, the hall itself towering above the courtyard, standing strong as if watching over them. Evie felt particularly attached to the building. When she had seen Skyhold creeping into her vision over the mountain top, an inexplicable warmth filled her very bones, despite the freezing snow that fell. For the first time since Uldred’s uprising she had a home.

Hawke had elected to stay with Warden Stroud, though Evie wished she had returned with them, for the simple fact she wanted to spend more time with her cousin. But Hawke had insisted, and there was no arguing with her.

Evie’s smile broadened at the sight of the Inquisition’s blond haired Commander awaiting their return.

“Inquisitor,” He greeted with the incline of his head. “I trust everything went smoothly.”

“As much as they could,” Kristoff laughed, dismounting from his horse, passing the reins to Dennett.

Cullen’s eyes flashed over to Evie, giving her a warm, welcoming smile as she and Chip stopped alongside him.

“You are looking well, Evelyn,” He greeted politely, holding out a hand to help her down.

She placed her hand in his, his calloused fingers curling gently but tightly around hers, “I am happy to be back. Plus Crestwood was crawling with creepy undead.” She shivered at the thought. At least they had managed to close the rift and rid Crestwood of that ghastly weather.

Cullen chuckled lightly, the fur on his cloak shaking with his shoulders, “That sounds...eventful.”

She swung her leg over Chip and, with Cullen’s aid, dismounted from her horse with unusual grace. She thanked him softly, and reluctantly withdrew her hand from his, her skin still tingling from his touch.

“Was there something you needed Commander?” A voice inquired. Evie blinked and looked sheepishly over at Kristoff, who had a mischievous smirk on his face. She had almost forgotten the Inquisitor and the others were there, “It is unusual for you to meet us like this. Especially in this snow.”

Cullen dug his hand into his pocket, withdrawing a number of papers and held them out to Kristoff, “Reports Inquisitor. Mostly from the Hinterlands. Since you cleared out the rogue mages and templars, things seem to be settling down.”

The Inquisitor shuffled through them, his eyes scanning the papers briefly, the smirk not leaving his face, “That is all well and good Commander, but surely a scout or messenger could have delivered these for you? Perhaps you had an ulterior motive?” His voice dripping with implication.

“I--uh, yes, perhaps that would’ve been better...but I, um, I wanted to give you them myself. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Cullen tripped in his efforts to run away from their group, much to the amusement of everyone else, though at least Blackwall had the decency to cover up his chuckle with a cough.

Evie couldn’t help but giggle at his behaviour; despite being Commander of the Inquisition’s forces, he would always be the shy templar she had known ten years ago. She did however, send a glare in the Inquisitor’s and Dorian’s direction, both of whom were currently making childish kissing noises at her. She headed for the stables, Chip following, though not before hissing at the pair, “Don’t get me started on you two."

 

***

 

There group had left only five days later for the Western Approach. Hawke had wrote to inform them her and Stroud had crossed into Orlais and would send word to the Western Approach Keep as to their location. The Inquisitor and his advisors had agreed it best they reacted as quickly as possible, and it was a long journey. Blood Magic was not something to be taken lightly, especially if they Grey Wardens were involved. Evie, along with many others, did not dare to believe it. The Wardens were heros. Evie remembered the Hero of Ferelden and King Alistair, they had saved her, the Tower, Cullen from destruction, and of course, defeated the Archdemon. She remembered their arrival in the Harrowing Chamber, the Hero like a beacon of light among the impenetrable dark that was Uldred. It would feel almost a betrayal if the Warden’s really were using Blood Magic.

They had already crossed the border into Orlais, over two weeks ago, and were hopefully not far from the Inquisition Keep in the Western Approach. Captain Rylan was heading operations at the Keep and had informed them of Stroud and Hawke’s arrival. Rylan was, apparently, an old friend of Cullen’s from Kirkwall, and Evie was rather curious to meet someone who had been in his life during Kirkwall. Her thoughts couldn’t help but drift to Cullen, whom, she hated to admit, she had been thinking of frequently in recent times. His behaviour around her had changed, they were far greater friends than they had been at the Circle, tied by Chantry rules and regulations between Templar and Mage relations. She found herself in Cullen’s office a number of times in their brief stay in Skyhold, her heart aflutter and her palms sweaty, eager to talk with him, laugh with him. He had even joined her once in the tavern, with Bull and the Chargers, she was overjoyed and surprised that he managed to actually relax in their presence. But, it was the morning before they had left Skyhold that stuck in her mind.

 

_She had been up since before dawn, the stars still littered the nights’ sky. Her nightmares had proved to be too much for her that night, she couldn’t sleep any longer. Evie had awoken drenched in sweat, tears pouring down her face and her heart hammering in her chest. So she decided to take a walk, hoping the night air would cool her and calm her nerves. What had scared her most about this dream was the appearance of the Grey Wardens, clearly influenced by her worries and fears of the Blood Magic they perhaps possess. Stepping out into the Courtyard, the early morning winds blew through her hair and she closed her eyes, relishing the cool feeling across her face._

_“Evelyn?”_

_She jumped, startled by the voice, thinking she would’ve been the only one awake, aside from patrols. It was Cullen. Even in the early hours of the morning, the Commander was still dressed in his armor and cloak._

_“You’re not still working I hope,” Evie half scolded him, wagging her finger at him._

_“Maker, no,” Cullen chuckled, his breath visible, “Sleep appears to have evaded me.”_

_Evie sighed, “Me too.” She looked over at him knowingly, “Nightmares?”_   
_He nodded gravely, he began to walk up to the Battlements, Evie hurrying alongside him, “And you?”_   
_“Yes. Sometimes it’s just easier to stay awake.”_   
_“I know that feeling,” Cullen replied, leading her over to the wall edge. He leaned over through the crenels, looking out into the Frostbacks._

_Evie joined him, watching as the sun began to peak over the mountain tops. The pair stood in companionable silence for some time, just watching the sun rise. It was peaceful. Almost as if there was no Darkspawn Magister threat looming over them. It was just Cullen and her, enjoying one of the rare precious moments they got to themselves._

_“You will be travelling to the Western Approach then?” He asked, breaking the silence between them. “I was wondering whether you would be staying since you only just got back from Crestwood.”_

_“If Mari is going, I am,” Evie insisted firmly._

_“Of course.” He chuckled, knowing how much Evie enjoyed having her family by her side, “Be careful. May the Maker watch over you.”_

_“Don’t worry. I’ve got the Champion of Kirkwall, the Herald of Andraste, a Grey Warden, a crossbow wielding dwarf, a Tevinter mage and a Qunari to look after me. I think I shall be fine.”_

_Cullen exhaled in amusement, shaking his head at her optimism, “Indeed. I need not worry it seems. I will be,” He stared deeply into her eyes, Evie finding herself lost in the golden orbs. There was an unreadable emotion in his eyes, in his expression, “Awaiting for your return.”_

_Did he really just..._

_“Our chess game,” He added quickly at the incredulous look on Evie’s face, to which she smiled sunnily, “Of course Commander.”_

_He took her hand in his gently and Evie’s heart stopped as he brought it softly to his lips in a small kiss, his eyes again never leaving hers. Her hand tingled, burned at the touch of his pillow like lips. If it had not been for her staff, now tightly clasped in her other hand to support her, she would’ve melted into a puddle on the ground. When had Cullen become this charming? Her face had been as red as a tomato as she had stammered some form of goodbye and hurried down from the Battlements to saddle up._

Had he really meant that? Or was it, as he said, purely in excitement for their chess game. The latter seemed a little over the top, but was that more likely than the fact he might actually be eager to see her return to Skyhold. And the kiss. It was only her hand, yet Cullen had never done anything of the sort before. Thinking about it, before Skyhold, they had never had much physical contact, not deliberate contact anyhow. There had been an occasional brush of a hand when he passed her book in the library, or whilst they were playing chess, but never anything more than that.

“You still in there?”

Evie blinked. Twice. She shook her head and turned to the Inquisitor, who sat upon his horse, watching her in amusement. “Sorry I was miles away.”  
“Anywhere nice?” He taunted, she rolled her eyes at his stupid joke, “Heard you were dragged from the tavern by Lady Vivienne for a dress fitting,” Kristoff grimaced, “Can’t honestly imagine anything worse.”

There was to be a ball in Skyhold upon their return from the Western Approach. Varric had informed her of the ball over a game of cards, looking rather displeased at the idea. Organised by Josephine, it was mainly to show the Nobles of Thedas the Inquisition had prospered in it’s new holdings and Haven had not ruined them. Evelyn was, contrary to many of her friends, rather excited for the event. As a mage, despite being of noble birth, she had never attended anything as impressive as a ball.  

Vivienne had come to her, or rather sent someone to fetch her, to take measurements for a dress. Evie had insisted she had her own dresses, but Vivienne would not hear of it, making a, admittedly rather rude, comment about her fashion sense. Instead a seamstress from Val Royeaux would be designing a dress for her, as well as the other women of the Inquisition’s Inner Circle and Advisors. Except for Sera, who, unsurprisingly, had told Vivienne rather graphically where she could shove her fancy dresses. Evie had never thought herself one for fancy dresses and pretty shoes but she found herself rather excited by the prospect.

“Well I should hope so, you’d look ghastly in a dress,” Evie grinned, “She was actually surprisingly okay, made one comment about my dress sense, but otherwise perfectly amicable.”

Kristoff snorted in disbelief, “If you say so. Lady Vivienne has also informed me she is running a personal errand for you whilst in Val Royeaux. Something about a present for our dashing Commander,” Kristoff teased.

Evie groaned, knowing exactly where the conversation was going, “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”  
“On the contrary, I am the Inquisitor. Everything is my business,” He countered pompously before grinning cheekily, “Maybe it is in hopes that he will ask you to the Ball?”

Evie’s cheeks were tinted pink as she tried to form some sort of response. The only downside of the ball was that Josephine had ‘encouraged’ them to bring a date of some form. Since she had found out from Varric much later than most, nearly all of her friends had dates or refused to indulge Josephine’s wishes. And secretly, a part of her was hoping a certain ex-templar would ask her. A tiny tiny part.

“Well, who are you taking?” She finally fired back.

“I am the Inquisitor, I do not require a date. Besides it would only disappoint my many, many fans,” He smirked.

Evie snorted, as Dorian rode up beside them, having overheard their conversation, “You keep telling yourself that, Herald.”

Dorian continued on ahead, winking at Evie, who could not contain her grin.

“Evie Rutherford, it had a ring to it does it not?”  
Evie’s grin immediately transformed into a scowl at the Inquisitor’s words.

“Come on Evie, let’s take a break,” He chuckled warmly, wiping his brow on his sleeve.

The Western Approach sun was beating down upon them, with nothing but a few trees scattered amongst the dunes for shade. Evie had, at times, found herself wishing to be back in Crestwood and the rains, much to her horror.

The group rested for a couple of hours, under a rocky overhang which provided them much needed shade, hoping to miss the hottest part of the day. Scout Harding joined them unexpectedly, having come from the Keep itself in search of them. She informed them they were only a half an hours ride away, much to the groups delight. The group gathered their things and continued on, Harding taking the lead. True to her word, they arrived half an hour later where Captain Rylen greeted them. After a meal of bread and meat, Evie could barely keep her eyes open and excused herself for a much needed rest. She needed to regain her strength for they were to seek out the Wardens tomorrow morning.

 

***

 

Evie spat the blood from her mouth, wiping her lips with her sleeve as revulsion pulsed through her, as the last of the demons fell. It was true. The Grey Warden’s could no longer be trusted. The air reeked of blood magic and the smell of flesh. Several Warden’s laid dead before them, their sacrifice meaningless. Erimond, a Venetori Agent for Corypheus and instigator, had fled after forcing the Warden’s and their demons upon them.

Evie shouldered her staff and began pacing furiously, taking deep breaths to calm herself. Images from the Ferelden Circle flashed through her mind. The bodies of the Wardens replaced by visions of her friends, killed in Uldred’s manic reign. Her fists clenched at her sides so tightly her nails began to draw blood from her palm, her teeth grinding in both pain and frustration. She had dared to think the Warden’s would somehow be innocent in all this, but no longer. They may have been fooled by Erimond but Blood Magic is never the answer. A hand pressed to her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks.

“Evelyn,” Hawke turned Evie to face her, and engulfed her in a tight hug, “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Evie remained rooted to the spot, unable to return Hawke’s embrace. Visions, memories, still flooded her mind, red hot anger and fear clouding her judgement. She pushed Hawke away, unable to see the hurt on her cousin’s face through her fury. Sighing, Hawke joined Stroud and the Inquisitor, whilst Evie suddenly felt her stomach turn. She ran over to the wall and retched, her head hanging over the edge. A hand, again pressed to her shoulder and rubbed her back in small circles. Dorian. The Tevinter cast her a pitying look, his own fact a little whiter than it’s usual golden glow. Wordlessly, he continued to rub her back until she had finished emptying the contents of her stomach. It was then the tears came. Emotions bottled up inside for years flowed from her eyes, and she collapsed to her knees, the weight of her emotions too heavy for her to bear. She heard Dorian call for the Inquisitor and for Hawke. Hawke hurried over and knelt beside her and embraced her, rubbing her back soothingly and whispered words of reassurance in her ears. Prepared to comfort her, for hours if need be, until her tears ran dry.

 

***

  
Their journey back had been as draining as the way there, probably even more so. Evie’s spirits lifted at the sight of him and his fur pauldrons. She may be weary, mentally and physically, from their mission. She may be still angry, furious, at the Wardens for not only using Blood Magic, a crime beyond forgiveness in her opinion, but to create a demon army for a Darkspawn Magister. Yet all seemed forgotten as her blue eyes met golden brown. He was there. She was back at Skyhold. She was home.


	13. Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's taken so long to write! Hope you enjoy it and thank you to everyone who's reading/commenting :)

"Fucking blood magic!" Evie growled, punching one of the training dummies by the Blacksmiths, and spat on the ground in disgust.

Usually Cassandra could be found training there, yet this morning the Seeker was no where to be seen, probably helping Cullen with the new recruits. Though this was a very fortunate coincidence, for Evie awoke this morning in a foul mood. She had barely slept, the events at the Western Approach triggering something within her, her nightmares significantly worse than before. Mostly she was fed up of people making excuses for the Wardens. She understood their need was desperate, however, in her opinion, nothing was worth turning to Blood Magic. Blood Magic was something that was inexcusable.

She kept punching the training dummy with rigor. With each punch, she felt a grim satisfaction as she released her anger. She heard someone calling her name, footsteps behind her unsure as they approached.

"Those. Fucking. Bastards." She reiterated each word with a punch. "Fucking. Blood. Magic! All. Those. Innocent. People. Fucking. Dead." Words no longer were sufficient and she swung with a ferocity she did not know she even possessed. Blood Magic. It cut too close to home. Soon punching wasn't enough and she flung her hands forward, fire bursting from her fingertips, engorging the row of dummies in flames. She watched as they burned, the flames flickering in her eyes, stinging them. But she could not cry. Her eyes frustratingly dry, she was beyond tears. Her chest heaved, rising and falling dramatically as she took deep but ragged breaths.

A cold blast of air washed over her as ice coated the dummies, putting out the flames. Evie cried out in pain as shock of electricity surged through her, “What in the void was that for?”

She rubbed hers arms, trying to rid herself of the pain. She did not need to turn to know who was standing there.

“You needed it,” Hawke replied curtly, stepping around Evie so she could face her. “I know you’re angry, frustrated, upset, you have every right to be. But setting fire to everything in sight is not going to help. You’re scaring people.” She gestured to the people of the Inquisition stood close by, a few eyeing her warily, their eyes filled with fear. To Hawke’s right she noticed Lysette, meters away, the smell of lyrium potent in the air around her, her hands raised ready to act.

Evie sagged in weariness, her head low, her fury vanishing in an instant and sapping the life from her, leaving her with only a feeling of sorrow and helplessness. “I’m sorry,” She whispered.

Hawke signalled to the others all was well, and they eventually returned to their duties. She wrapped an arm around her cousin’s shoulders and led her into the tavern, placing her down onto a stool. She left Evie for but a moment before slamming down a glass of murky green liquid that looked as if it had been scooped out from the swamps of the Fallow Mire. Evie turned her nose up at the foul smell that emitted from it, pushing it away. Hawke pushed it back.

“Evie, trust me. It will help. One of Stitches concoctions. You’re still in shock. I saw what the Western Approach did to you. You saw Kinloch didn’t you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Evie stubbornly replied, before finally biting the bullet and draining her cup of the rancid liquid. She shivered in disgust, though surprisingly, she began to feel a pleasurable warmth spread through her, relaxing her. She had to hand it to Stitches he knew how to make a good poultice.   
“That’s your problem. You don’t talk about anything!” Hawke said, a hint of frustration colouring her tone, “It’s not good to bottle things up.”  
“And I suppose making ridiculous jokes about things is better?” Evie said snidely, before her eyes widened, “Shit. I didn’t mean that I-”

Hawke held a hand up to silence her, “It’s fine. Look, I’m not going to force you, but please, don’t bottle things up.”

“I won’t. Geez, you’re acting like my mother, if I could remember her. You know, you’re only a few years older than me.”

“Six years,” Hawke corrected with a smirk. “And I think I would question the sanity of anyone who thought of me as ‘motherly’.”

Evie chuckled, immeasurably happy that her cousin was here. Things just seemed better with Hawke around, as if she could fix any problem. Probably why so many looked to her for guidance both in Kirkwall and the Inquisition. And for all her sarcastic comments and relentless jokes, Hawke truly cared for the people of Thedas, and she was not afraid to protect them, whatever the cost.  

She and Hawke spent the rest of their morning just talking of whatever came to mind, despite Hawke having been in Skyhold for some time now, Evie and her had had very little time to just talk the two of them. Mostly Hawke asked of Evie’s time after leaving the Wounded Coast, her time as an apostate, and in return Hawke shared with Evie tales of her family, their family, as children. Just little things, like how she and Bethany used to team up on Carver in any argument, how Leandra would allow them to lick the cake batter from the bowl when she was baking, how she used to tease Bethany for spending too much time in the Chantry listening to Leliana’s stories.

It was times like this when Evie wished more than anything, she had been born into the other side of the family. She wished she were a Hawke and not an Amell.

“Have you ever thought of contacting your mother and father?” Hawke asked abruptly, as if the thought had just come to her.

“I used to. But soon realised it was a foolish notion. Father was so...disgusted by what I was, what we are, that he sent me to the Circle willingly. I never even got to say goodbye to my younger brothers and sister, Samuel, Lucas and Isla. Derek had already been carted off to Maker knows which Circle. We had brought shame to the family. Father never even tried to contact me, just abandoned me to the Chantry at the age of eight. And mother, she just vanished after Derek was taken. I can scarcely recall it, I just remember Father taking us from Kirkwall after Derek was discovered to be a mage. She abandoned us too. I can barely remember her face. So no, I am not going to try and contact them now. It seems pointless. Sorry,” Evie realised that she had been ranting at Hawke, who looked a little shocked at the outburst. She adopted a smirk, “Bet you wished you hadn’t asked now.”  
“Maker, mother had told me you’d been sent to the Circles...I had not realised it was that...cold heartedly. Makes me appreciate what father and mother did for us.” Hawke tossed an arm over Evie’s shoulder and squeezed, “Don’t worry, you’ve got me and Carver now. Gamlen has a child too you know. Called Charade. You’re friend Sera knows her - she’s one of the Red Jennies - I’ll get you her address if you’d like?”

“That would be lovely,” Evie grinned.

“I’ll make sure you get it before I leave for Adamant.”

“You’re leaving? Before the ball?”

Marian Hawke laughed loudly, “Can you really imagine me at a ball?” Evie had to admit, she couldn’t, “I don’t do very well at balls, even less well with Nobles. Too much talking. Not enough action. Besides, Stroud needs me to help him scout Adamant out. Make sure we’re not walking into a trap.”

“We only just got back,” Evie grumbled, crossing her arms across her chest sulkily.

“Them six years really do make a difference, huh?” Hawke dodged the punch aimed at her shoulder laughing. “Come on, what’s say we find Varric and grab some lunch?”

That afternoon Evie was dragged into a room off the Main Hall by Josephine. Inside, stood Vivienne and a disgruntled Sera. In the far corner of the room sat a string quartet, which left Evelyn puzzled to say the least. The room itself was rather small, illuminated by only a few windows and candles. The tables and chairs had been pushed to the edges of the room, leaving an open space in the center.

“Ain’t someone gonna explain what in Andraste’s flaming arse I am doing here?” She huffed, tapping her foot against the stone floor impatiently.

“Well Sera, it has come to my attention, that neither you, nor Lady Amell have had any formal dance training,” Josephine explained. It was then Evelyn noticed her notepad had disappeared, which was very unusual. Evie was sure that that bloody thing was glued to Josephine’s hand. In the corner of her eye she saw the item in question, lying flat upon a table, never far away, and she could not hide the tiny smile that grew on her face.

Sera was not particularly thrilled at the idea, “I ain’t looking like a tit just for a bunch of stuck ups!”  
“Which is why we,” She indicated to the four of them, “Are going to teach you and Lady Amell how to dance so you can avoid that particular...scenario.”

“This is bullshit!”

Evie could tell it took everything for Josephine to not roll her eyes at Sera’s comment, and instead ignored it entirely whilst remaining utterly composed. “We’ll pair off, Lady Vivienne with Sera,, and myself and Lady Amell.” Evie flashed Josephine a warm smile of reassurance. “Maestro!”

The quartet began playing a slow, gentle tune; a waltz. Josephine stood in front of Evie, and clasped Evie’s hand in hers, placing the other on around Evie’s waist. Evie laid her other hand upon Josephine’s shoulder.

“I’ll take lead. The waltz is a simple dance. On a beat of three,” Josephine stepped forward, forcing Evie to step back. “One, two, three. One, two, three.” Evie found herself looking at hers’ and Josephine’s feet as she desperately tried to follow her footsteps. “Eyes up Evelyn. You can’t stare at the floor when you’re dancing. You must be confident, poised, elegant. Raise your chin, back straight. Yes that is it.”

Josephine continued to move Evie across the floor, and slowly but surely Evie found herself stepping in time with Josephine with ease. Vivienne and Sera were not having as much success.

“Will you watch where you are putting your feet!” Evie wasn’t sure she had ever heard Vivienne as uncomposed as she was right now. Sera caught her gaze and winked cheekily at her when the mage was not looking. She was doing it on purpose. Evie barely contained her amusement, giving a small squeak, until she caught Josephine’s eye and the pair lapsed into a fit of giggles. Vivienne sent them a murderous look of pure disdain.

“Let us continue. I would not want to incur Madame de Fer’s wrath.”

Evie nodded vehemently, “I feel it would be not in our best interests.”

Josephine offered her a quick smile of agreement before changing the topic, “Tell me Lady Amell, have you a date for the ball?”  
“No, think I’m just going to go on my own.”  
“Truly?” She looked rather horrified at the idea, and Evie hoped she had not broken some Orlesian custom. There seemed to be a bloody lot.

“Will that be a problem?”  
“No, no. I am merely surprised. Though I suppose you have not been present at Skyhold much these past few weeks,” She pondered, “I am sure someone will ask you soon.”  
“Thanks Josephine, but I would not be too disappointed if I went alone. You are all there after all.”

Josephine smiled brightly at her, “Of course.”  
“Who are you going with?”

“I...am already engaged, promised to a Lord back in Antiva.” Evie did not miss the hesitation in her voice, the sadness in her smile. At least being practically disowned from her family had saved her from ever having to marry someone she did not love. Poor Josephine.

“That doesn’t mean you have to go alone to the ball surely?”

“I need to make sure everything runs smoothly,” Josephine stated.

Evie laughed lightly in disbelief, “Josephine. If anyone needs a night off it is you.”

“It will be a night off. I cannot wait for the ball. It will likely not be Orlesian standards of the great Game, but I am excited to be back in play.”

The music came to an end and the pairs stopped dancing, Josephine seemed pleased enough with Evie’s progress. “You have picked up on the steps rather quickly. It seems you are almost a natural. But we will continue this tomorrow,” Josephine complimented. She glanced over her shoulder to where Sera and Vivienne stood arguing, “Sera however, I feel is a lost cause.”  
Evie giggled, “I don’t see how you thought that possible in the first place.”

“Wishful thinking on my part it seems.”

“Oh Evelyn dear,” came the unmistakably regal voice of Vivienne, “Our dresses have arrived if you wish to see it?”

Evie noticed Sera had already scarpered, probably back to the tavern. She nodded at her fellow mage, as Josephine’s eyes lit up, “Oh yes, you must go Evelyn. They are simply beautiful.”

She bid the Ambassador farewell and followed Vivienne up to her room on the second floor of the Main Hall. Four rather large bundles lay over the chaise longue, which she presumed were their dresses for the ball.

“There’s only four dresses here?”  
“Darling, do you really imagine we could have persuaded Sera to wear a dress?” Vivienne wrinkled her nose as if smelling something unpleasant. “And Lady Pentaghast insisted on wearing some dress suit. It is not completely horrible,” She spoke as if assuring Evie, though Evie could not have cared less if Cassandra had turned up in a potato sack if she desired.

Vivienne took the far right bundle and opened it up, pulling out the dress within. Evie gasped in wonder. It was exquisite. Made of red silk, the dress, full length, tucked in at the waist and flared out at the bottom. A large strip of black lace ran down the center of the dress, overlaying the silk. The arms, too, full length, draped at the ends whilst the bodice was laced up around the back with red ribbon. Evie had been a little apprehensive of what Vivienne would have created for her considering some of the extravagant clothing the mage wore. This however, was perfect. Eye catching but not overstated.

“Thank you Vivienne. It’s beautiful.”

“No trouble at all,” She replied with a wave of her hand, though she was obviously pleased, “We shall all stun and awe our guests. The other dresses, I assure you, are all equally as beautiful.” She glided over to her desk and picked up a parcel, “Here are the items you asked me to acquire for you dear.”

“Thank you Vivienne, how can I repay you?” Evie said, truly grateful, as she took the gift for Cullen from Vivienne’s grasp

“Don’t fret my dear, I’m sure I can think of something.”

Evie gulped; she did not like that look in the Enchanter’s eyes. “Well, if you’ll excuse me I’ll need to go give my gift.”  
“Of course. Do let me know how it goes.”

Evie nodded, though she wasn’t sure she would, and made her way to Cullen’s office. The sun was setting when she made her way across the bridge from Solas’ room, the sun casting an orange glow upon the Keep. Cullen should have been finished with the recruits for the day, and hopefully, actually in his office with paperwork. She knocked twice at his door before she heard a response, his voice gruff and weary, and opened the door. Cullen was sat at his desk, indeed finishing paperwork, as she had expected. Several candles lit the room, the waning sunlight providing limited illumination, casting shadows upon Cullen’s face. Yet she could still see the dark circles under his eyes and his hollowed sallow cheeks. He had looked visibly worse than she remembered before leaving for the Western Approach. He had deteriorated in their absence from Skyhold. The cause, Evie could not say. But it concerned her deeply.

He did not look up from his papers until Evelyn was half way across the room. His gaze softened as he saw, the weariness in his eyes vanishing as a bright smile grew on his face, “Evelyn,” He greeted warmly, getting to his feet, “I’m sorry. I had thought you were another messenger. Please, would you like to sit?” He indicated to the chair beside his desk. “I’ll be with you in a moment.”

Evie slid into the chair, Cullen following suit once she was seated, looking back over his papers. The gift now feeling heavy in her hands. For some reason she felt nervous about giving it to him and fretted about his reaction; that it was perhaps not the right gift, that he was not going to like it. She toyed with the ribbon Vivienne had used to wrap the gift. She had not even thought to check it’s condition. What if it was broken? Or Vivienne had gotten it wrong?

“I have heard we are in need of some new training dummies.” Amusement coloured his tone and he lifted the scared side of his mouth, smirking at her.   
Evie snapped from her thoughts and flushed in embarrassment, ashamed of her earlier lack of control, “I...err...yes, forgive me.”

“Cassandra tells me she was very impressed. And a little scared. Only ashes remain apparently. Must have been quite the spell,” He continued to tease.

“Cullen…” Evie groaned.  
“Alright, I’m sorry. I’ll stop,” Yet the smirk never fell from his face. His gaze however, fell to her hands, “What or who, is that for?”

“I-I know you don’t appreciate being made a fuss of on your nameday, so I didn’t tell anyone else, but I did get you a little something. Here. Happy nameday.”

She thrust the package into Cullen’s hands, who blinked in surprised, “You remembered?”

“What your nameday, or the fact you think it’s pointless?”

He gave a rumbling chuckle, “Both.”  
Evie shrugged nonchalant, “Guess some things just stick.” She paused, noticing he had still not touched the ribbon, “You know, usually people open presents given to them on their nameday.”

Cullen glanced at her momentarily, his lips forming a crooked grin that made her heart skip, and his hands made short work of the ribbon and wrapping. Evie watched his face intensely, trying to gauge his reaction. He picked up one of the carved knights, brushing his fingers against the smooth summerstone. He stared at the piece hard, frown forming on his face.

“I’m sorry,” Evie quickly apologised, “I knew it was a stupid idea. I’ll take it back-”  
“No,” Cullen uttered, his voice gentle but firm, “It’s...wonderful. It’s perfect. It’s like the set I had in the Circle.” Evie nodded. Her very reasoning for asking Vivienne to purchase this particular set was due to the likeness of the set Evie had forever seen Cullen playing with. It was carved from summerstone and onyx, each stone representing the white and black pieces respectfully.

Cullen’s eyes found, and bored into hers, his alight with memories from happier times, “It had been my mother’s. Mia, my sister, and I used to play frequently before I joined the Templars. She always had this annoying habit of winning. Mother helped me and Branson practice until one day we beat her. Her face…,” He laughed fondly at the memory, “Mother knew how much I had loved that set and she sent it to me, for my eighteenth birthday, just after I was stationed. Templars are not supposed to have possessions from their previous lives, but Greagoir had eventually relented, I think at Irving’s insistence,” He paused, “I was loathe to leave it behind when I went to Kirkwall. But I was...preoccupied at the time however, and it was too late before I realised what I had done. Truly, thank you.”

Evie beamed at Cullen’s own smile and was now pleased with the gift she had chosen for it. He seemed to love it. It sent relief coursing through her and she relaxed further into her chair, content to be the reason for his happiness.

“Would you care for a game?”

“But all your paperwork,” She replied, eyeing the piles upon his desk.

“I’ll finish it later,” He dismissed with the wave of a hand. She stared at him incredulously and he rolled his eyes, “It is my nameday.”

She gave a soft snort, “It is. Okay then, though you’ll have to forgive me if my skills are a little rusty.”

“Now, now, no excuses before we’ve even begun,” Cullen said as he began setting the game up. “You will have to accept your defeat either way.”  
“Is that fighting talk Commander?”

He grinned over at her in response, a cocky smirk on his face, and he nodded to her pieces, “Your move first. You’ll need all the advantages you can get.”  
Evie laughed and moved one of her pawns forward, “I wouldn’t be too confident just yet. We’ve only just started.”  
“We’ll see,” Cullen replied rather smugly, moving his own pawn forward.

They continued to play, back and forth, each taking the other’s pieces as they bantered and chatted about anything and everything that came to mind.

Evie’s fingers brushed the top of her rook, her eyes immediately darting to Cullen to discern if that would prove a useful move. He gave nothing away, his face perfectly neutral. She eyed the pieces he had already taken from her. His pile was significantly larger than hers. She hesitated a moment longer before moving her rook back several places. She knew that was a mistake as the corner of Cullen’s lip twitched upwards and he moved his knight to take her piece.

“Damnit,” She muttered under her breath watching Cullen add to his pile, “Have you written to your family since we arrived at Skyhold?”  
Cullen nodded as Evie pondered her next move, “I wrote to Mia not too long ago. Before then, my correspondence had been rather...lacking. She had written to inform me so, and so I replied.”  
“How lacking exactly?”  
“Since before the Inquisition.”  
Evie gasped, “Cullen! Your poor family were probably out of their minds with worry.”  
“Mia told me as much, but they are all well, that is the main thing.”

“I can’t believe you,” Evie laughed, shaking her head, placing her Queen two squares to the left.

“Well what you can believe is that I have just won our game,” He placed took Evie’s queen with his own and left her in the position of checkmate, a smug grin growing on his face.

“Stupid game anyway,” Evie grumbled childishly and crossed her arms, causing Cullen to laugh heartily.

“At least you lost honourably. The Inquisitor cheated in our last game and still lost.”

“That is one consolation,” She commented dryly. She playfully glared at him, “Don’t worry we will have a rematch.”

Cullen chuckled, leaning back in his chair, his eyes never leaving her, “I look forward to it.” His eyes then begrudgingly drifted to his papers and Evie smiled knowingly.

“I’ll be leaving you now,” She got up from her chair, Cullen too, heaving himself up, his mouth open in protest, “Please Cullen, sit. That pile looks like it’s going to take you a while. I wouldn’t want to keep you up all night.”

He nodded, as he sat back down, a grateful look on his face, “I shall see you tomorrow?”  
“Most probably. Josephine will probably have us putting up streamers,” She giggled, harder once she saw the clueless look on his face, “The ball is the day after tomorrow Cullen.”

“Oh Andraste’s arse! I hadn’t realised it was so soon. Do you really think she’ll make us put up streamers?”

“Maybe you’ll get lucky and decorate the tables,” Evie laughed, “Goodnight Commander.”

“Goodnight,” He replied with incline of his head, “Evelyn.”

Evelyn headed straight for her room. She had only been half-joking about Josephine assigning them various jobs tomorrow, and wanted to be fully rested for it was sure to be tiring. It did not take her long to drift off only to be awoken by a soft, but urgent voice.

“You must wake. He needs you.”

Evie’s eyes snapped open and she bolted upright in fright at the sound. She blinked a couple of times and squinted in effort to see through the darkness. “Who’s there?”

“We must hurry.”

“Cole is that you?” Evie asked, her eyes finally adjusting, could make out a figure by the end of her bed. She lit the candle on her bedside table with a wave of her hand and she could see the spirit’s face peering at her from under his hat. He looked panicked. “What’s wrong Cole? Who needs me?”

Cole began muttering words, as he always did; thoughts, feelings, “Just one. Just one drop. Want it. Need it. He cannot. He has come so far. It would throw it all away. But still. Maybe just one couldn’t hurt. To dull the pain. It burns through his veins like fire. And Maker, he can’t see her again. Not like this. They taint her image.”

“Cole, please, tell me what’s going on?” Evie asked, getting out of bed and crouching in front of the boy.   
“He needs you, he’s not strong enough. Not on his own. Come.”

Knowing that when Cole became so absorbed in helping, it was often best to just do as he said, she followed him out of her room and down into the Main Hall. Skyhold was empty save for a couple of guards on patrol. Cole ran into Solas’ room, Evie wondering if something had happened to the elf, but Cole did not stop instead heading out onto the bridge. It was then Evie knew who it was. Cullen. Her heart grew cold, icy dread running through her body and she quickened her pace, running past Cole and throwing open the door to Cullen’s office. She was not prepared for what she saw.

Cullen lay propped against the far wall, his face a sickly white as shivers convulsed his body. She could see his mouth moving and could hear him murmuring softly to himself. The smell of sweat, bile and vomit filled her nose and she noticed the bucket beside him, probably Cole’s doing. His amber eyes half lidded, haunted, focused upon a box upon his desk. Within Evie could make out a blue vial; lyrium. It did not take long for her to figure out what was wrong. She gave a sharp intake of breath, her eyes widening, and she wasted no time in hurrying to his desk. She scooped up the box and handed it to Cole wordlessly. He knew what had to be done and left the office. Evie rushed to Cullen’s side, taking his face between her hands.

“Cullen, Cullen,” She moved one of her hands to his forehead, which was searing hot. “Hold on Cullen. This will make you feel better.”

She closed her eyes and allowed her magic to flow into him to restore some of his energy. However, she was no healer, and prayed this would help. Green light emitted from her hands and around Cullen as the spell began to work. She wondered just what had possessed Cullen to stop taking lyrium, she knew the Chantry abused it. Yet Maker, withdrawal had killed Templars before or drove them mad at the very least. Did anyone know he was doing this?

“I knew you would figure it out,” Evie saw Cole reappear in the corner of her vision. “He needs you. You make him feel like a better person. He is stronger when you are near.”

“I hope so,” Evie whispered, “Why is he doing this?”  
“Lyrium ties him to an Order he no longer wishes to be part of. Ties him to the Circles. To Kinloch Hold. He does not like who he’s become. Mage hater. Kirkwall. He didn’t stop Meredith. He blames himself.”

Evie’s face softened and she gave the Commander a pitying look, “Oh Cullen. You are still you, still the same kind-hearted Templar I met all those years ago.”

The glow of her magic began to fade, and diminished entirely as she removed her hands.

“Evelyn?”

Cullen’s voice was raspy and pain filled. It broke Evie’s heart.

“I’m here Cullen, I’m here.”

He offered her a weak smile, his eyes closing, “I’m sorry I kept this from you.”  
“Hush, it’s fine. I just wish you’d told me so I could have helped you,” She brushed a curl from his face, having come loose from his usually well maintained style.

“Something I needed to do on my own,” He huffed. “I-”

Evie placed a finger to his lips, “We’ll talk in the morning. For now, you need to get some rest.”

Miraculously, with Cole’s help, she managed to get Cullen up his ladder and into bed. Once she was assured he was resting, she went back down the ladder and slumped into Cullen’s desk chair, her head in her hands. Too many questions were buzzing around in her mind, but they would have to wait until the morning.

Cole remained perched upon the desk, watching her closely. She smiled tiredly at the boy.

“I’ll stay with him tonight Cole, don’t worry. I can sleep in his chair, though I doubt I will get much now. I need to talk with him in morning. He has some serious explaining to do,” Her voice raising in anger. She looked up at the boy and gave him a gentle rub on the back, “Thank you for coming to get me. Thank you for helping.”  
He scampered off without another word, leaving Evie to spend the rest of her night alone with her thoughts. 


	14. The Grand Ball

Evelyn awoke to find a blanket wrapped tightly around her. Cole. As she had predicted, she slept very little. Aside from her mind abuzz with thoughts and feelings on Cullen and his lyrium withdrawal, Cullen himself, had stirred frequently in the night. He had tossed and turned, crying out in horror in his sleep, until Evie woke him. The second time it had happened, she moved up into his chambers, taking a seat upon the cold, hard floor, resting against the wall where she could better keep an eye on him. Another three times he woke that night, each time frightening her more than the last. She knew he dreamed of the Circle, of Uldred, the lyrium withdrawal preying on the weaker parts of his past. He’d cried out for her in his dreams, each time it caused a pang of pain in her chest. He never told her exactly what Uldred had unleashed upon him, though now, she had some idea. It hurt her deeply that Uldred had used her against Cullen in Maker only knew how many ways.

How could Cullen put himself through this? What was his motivation? Surely he knew the risks? The Templar Order was pure evil, aside from the way some of their members treated mages, the templars themselves were forever tied to the Order and the Chantry. Templars gained their powers from the intake of lyrium, and the Chantry controlled the lyrium. Only another reason to hate the Chantry, and Maker did she. Though, she had to admit, since she had spoken with Cullen in the Chantry, her opinions on the Maker were changing, only the Maker however. The Chantry were still scum, who had long abused their power.

The sun was only just beginning to rise, although Evie felt as if it had been an eternity since she had first laid down to sleep in her chambers the previous night. Cullen stirred beside her, his eyes fluttering open. Blinking several times, he wiped the sleep from his eyes and sat up groggily, groaning as he did so. He ran a hand through his rather unkempt hair, seemingly unaware of Evie’s presence.

“Good morning,” Evie said tersely. She was still rather angry Cullen had hidden something from her. Especially something potentially life threatening.

Cullen jumped before freezing, his hand halting its ministrations with his hair. He turned his head to her slowly, a mixture of guilt, hurt and anxiousness on his face. Evie remained silent, crossing her arms over her body, waiting for his response as she glared fiercely at him. She would be more empathetic later, after he had explained everything. Now was the time for anger.

“Evelyn, I-” Cullen began.

Evie cut him off, her temper getting the better of her, “No, don’t Evelyn me! You...you could have died Cullen. I’ve heard of it in templars before. Or they’ve gone completely crazy. And you couldn’t even be bothered to tell me! Shit Cullen, I about had a heart attack when Cole came and woke me last night saying you were in trouble. And then I find you...I found you…” She broke off, tears of frustration and fear dripping down her cheeks. “If you’d have told me, I could’ve at least been prepared for what I saw. Maker, I could’ve helped you Cullen. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Cullen’s expression immediately turned to one of pity and understanding; her anger was from her fear for him, her caring for him. It only angered her more. Her eyes flashed dangerously and she accidently let a spark of magic crackle between her hands.

“I can only apologise Evie, I never meant to hurt you. Maker, I was trying to spare you from it,” He sighed in anguish, his head falling into his hands.

Evie’s anger evaporated at the sight of him so distressed, so in despair. She reached out to him, shifting onto her knees, and placed a soft hand upon his arm in hopes of providing some comfort, “I apologise too. I did not mean to make you feel guilty for your choice. I just...well, I wished you’d have told me. Mostly I just want to spare you pain, and though I am sure you know the risks, I don’t want you to...die on me. The Inquisition can’t afford to lose you. I can’t afford to lose you.” She cast her eyes downward at that point, hoping he did not read too much into her words. Though she meant it. Every word.

“I know. Maker knows, I will not fail you or the Inquisition if I can help it. I don’t want to be tied to lyrium. Nor the order. Cassandra is keeping an eye on me,” Annoyance coloured his tone, and Evie could imagine the lengths the Seeker had gone to to check up on him. “She will replace me if I am no longer worthy of my position.”  
Evie snorted, earning his gaze, “I doubt that will ever happen Cullen. No one has put more into the Inquisition and its’ troops than you. You work harder than anyone else here.”

“Thank you,” He replied humbly, “But I highly doubt that, the Inquisitor-”  
“Can be a lazy git,” Evie laughed, recalling several times during their travels in which the Kristoff had made Bull carry his bag, or used his magic to even open and close doors. “Can’t you just accept my compliment.”  
“Sorry,” He gave a breathy laugh.

“I have some questions, if I may?”

“Of course. I owe you that,” Cullen said, patting the bed beside him.

She got up from the stone floor, her behind severely numb from the coldness, and sat upon the much softer mattress, “When did you stop?”  
“As soon as Cassandra recruited me, so it has been several months now.”

“Quite a while then,” She murmured to no one in particular, “Have you seen any improvements? Though honestly I can’t say I could imagine anything worse than what I saw last night.”

“Surprisingly I have, not so much in the symptoms but their frequency, definitely. These ‘episodes’ are happening much more infrequently than they did when I first started, though the intensity is very much the same,” He grimaced and Evie gave his arm a gentle squeeze of comfort.

“Let’s hope it continues to improve then,” Evie offered Cullen an encouraging smile, “I also wanted you to know, I agree with your decision, I know it did not seem that way at first,” Cullen chuckled, “But I do. I’d much rather you free of the Chantry, I hate that all the Order are tied to them. They have no right to control as they do, you are people, you deserve to be treated as such, not have your free will stripped from you by lyrium. Whatever you need Cullen, I’ll be there. I promise.”

“Thank you,” Cullen uttered softly, “That means more to me than you realise,” He paused, his eyes shifting between Evie and her hand upon his arm, “I...I was wanting to ask you something.”  
“Of course.”

He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, and his amber eyes stared straight at her, anxious, “I was wondering if perhaps you would...um...accompany me to this welcoming event Josephine has been planning. I mean since she’s encouraging everyone to bring a date,” His eyes widened at his own words, “Not that it would be a date! I-I mean only to ask if we could go as friends and I-”

Evie could no longer hear Cullen’s words, they faded out as her mind processed exactly what he had just asked. He wanted to go with her? Even though he had said just as friends, Evie felt happiness and a giddy excitement bubble within her. Over everyone at Skyhold, he had asked her. The corners of her mouth upturned and she looked over at Cullen, who was still babbling away a multitude of reasons she should accept.  

“Cullen, let me stop you before you hurt yourself.” Evie felt a little satisfaction at his usual confident, calm demeanor crumbling, and he blushed harder, his ears even turning red. “I would love to accompany you.” She gave him a bright, sparkling smile that she hoped would ease him, though if anything he blushed hard, “It’s a nice idea to use this as means to celebrate our rekindled friendship. Thank you for asking me. I had been a little worried I would be going stag. Even Cassandra has someone, and I thought she’d turn her nose up at the very idea.”

“I’m sure you have queues of men waiting to ask.”  
“Hardly. But what about you, our dashing Commander? Aren’t the girls throwing themselves at you? I’ve seen a few of the nobles Josephine has invited eyeing you.”

“Which is partly why I’ve asked you,” He said clearing his throat nervously, “I feel more...comfortable around you.”

Evie had to contain the snort of disbelief she almost unleashed. His statement seemed contradictory to his blushing face and stammering. And she found a smirk working its way onto her face, “That is good to know. Otherwise it would be a terribly long night.” She got her feet and headed for the ladder, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

Cullen nodded, his blush had faded mostly and a warm smile took it’s place, “If not sooner.”

“I look forward to it.”

His smile brightened and her stomach somersaulted, Maker did she love his smile. The way his eyes lit up, like molten gold, the way his scar ever so slightly crinkled sending a warm twisting feeling to her belly.

She blinked, realising she had been staring this whole time and hurriedly made her way down the ladder to save herself further embarrassment. She felt as if she was floating whilst she made her way to the Main Hall to await instruction from Josephine. Whatever the Ambassador had in store for her, it could not ruin her mood. Nothing could.

 

***

 

“Evelyn? May I come in?”

Evie nearly tripped over her dress as she flusteredly ran to the door, her hair only half done. She undid the bolt and opened the door to allow Cassandra in. The Seeker looked very smart in her dress suit, which contrary to Vivienne’s comments, was rather lovely. She wore a lilac tunic with an Orlesian floral design embroidered with golden thread, over a pair of deep purple leggings with black knee high boots. Her hair had been left in pretty much the same style she always wore it, but it suited her, though she had applied a little makeup to her cheeks, accentuating her cheekbones, and her eyes had a smoky tinge to them.

“You look beautiful Cassandra,” Evie gushed to which the Seeker smiled half heartedly.

“I am not so sure,” She fiddled with the buttons on her tunic nervously, “I do not feel particularly comfortable right now.”

“Well I assure you, you do,” Evie insisted.

“Thank you, and might I say you look rather beautiful yourself, Evelyn.”  
Evie smiled gratefully, “Thank you, I have not yet finished, my hair is being rather difficult.”

She was, of course, wearing the dress Vivienne had had made for her. It fit wonderfully. The red contrasted with her pale skin and dark hair, her eyes lined with black and gold, making them stand out upon her face, and her lips were as red as her dress. Both ‘recommendations’ from Lady Vivienne, the mage had stormed in earlier, insisting she did her makeup. Evie had little choice but to agree, and sat for at least half an hour as Vivienne applied several different powders with several different brushes, all as foreign to Evie as the next.

“Then wear it down,” Cassandra suggested, moving the pair over to the mirror, “It suits you.”  
Evie shrugged slightly but nonetheless removed the pins from her hair, allowing it to fall over her shoulders in gentle waves of black.

“See that is much better,” Cassandra approved, before sending her a worried glance, “Are you...are you nervous?”  
“A little,” Evie admitted. She had seen the Commander once since he had asked her, and it was only in passing as he was desperately trying to avoid Leliana and Josephine, who apparently were trying to get him more involved in the Ball than he ever wanted to be. But she was nervous about what the night would bring, she wondered, if tonight, she should tell him how she truly feels, “Are you?”  
Cassandra had been approached by one of the Ferelden nobles Josephine had invited, and the Seeker had surprised everyone by agreeing to go with the man. Though it had turned out that the pair had met before, when Cassandra was the Divine’s Right Hand. Evie had met him only once, but he seemed a genuine sort. Or more genuine than many of the nobles who had arrived over the past few days.

“A little,” Cassandra said, echoing her words, “It has been a long time since I have attended a social gathering such as this.”

“Just think of it as another type of battlefield,” Evelyn joked.

“I’ll try. Come, we had best head down to the hall before Josephine has our heads.”  
Evie giggled and brushed herself down, looking in the mirror one last time, “An excellent point. Let’s hope the night goes smoothly.”  
Cassandra nodded and the pair left the room, where Varric and Bull happened to be waiting. The Iron Bull whistled at them, winking at them, though with his eye patch it looked rather ridiculous, “Looking good there ladies, you both scrub up good.”

Cassandra snorted, nodding in acknowledgement to Varric before walking down the stairs to the hall. Evie smiled at her friends, rolling her eyes at Cassandra’s inability to take a compliment.

“You don’t look so bad yourself Bull,” She grinned, “You too Varric.”

The Qunari, for what Evie thought was the first time, was not wearing his chest brace, instead he wore a brown and dark green shirt and beige breeches, a brown, thick leather belt around his waist. Varric was dressed in a tunic very similar to that which he usually wore, though made of a deep purple material lined with silver. His chest, and chest hair, of course still on show.

“Thank you very much, Twinkles. I’m sure Curly will be his usual articulate self once he sees you,” Varric teased, earning a playful nudge from Evie. “Seriously, you look lovely Evie.”

“Shall we?” Bull said, he and Varric leading her down the stairs.

She fiddled with the hem of sleeves, her heart pounding in her chest, blood thudding through her ears, wondering exactly how Cullen would react. She also found herself wondering how the Commander himself would be dressed, she’d only seen him out of his armour on only a few occasions.

As they descended the stairs, Evie could not help but gasp in awe. The hall looked exquisite. Navy blue velvet draped across the stone walls in a banner-like fashion, the Inquisition emblem hung from the pillars. The chandeliers above them had been replaced by one much more extravagant, with a number of diamonds or crystals dripping from them. The tables had been pushed to the edges of the room, though still covered with a multitude of different dishes and beverages, allowing space for a dancefloor. She could make out the string quartet who she had practiced dancing with setting up in the corner. The Hall was already filled with members of the Inquisition and the nobles who had been invited, nearly all of them chatting and gossiping already. Her eyes immediately scanned the crowd for him, but to her disappointment he had not yet arrived.

“Good luck Twinkles,” Varric whispered to her at the bottom of the stairs, he and Bull leaving her in search of some alcohol, whilst she searched for Cullen.

She began wandering aimlessly through the crowd, some of the Orlesian nobles commenting on the dress she was wearing, mostly approving.

“Evelyn?”  
A grin grew on her face at the sound of his voice and a hand encircled her wrist and turned her. Any words that she wanted to express died in her throat, completely blown away by the man in front of her. Cullen looked handsome beyond words. He wore a red jacket with a navy sash and golden epaulettes, and a pair of black breeches and boots, his sword strapped around his waist. The jacket was tight across his chest, revealing the outlines of his muscled body, sending Evie’s stomach fluttering, her heart in her throat.

“Cullen…” His name fell from her lips in the smallest of whispers.

He too, stood transfixed, his eyes on her, his mouth agape slightly. His hand slid down from her wrist to her hand. Evie didn’t dare to entwine her fingers with his, despite the desperate urge.   “I-I...Maker, you look beautiful, Evelyn,” He said finally, breathlessly, “There will not be a single person in this room who will not envy me tonight.”

Evie gave a weak laugh, his words filled her with a feeling of warmth and delight she had not felt in a long time, “Thank you Cullen. Though I fear it may be me who is to be envied, for I have the dashing Commander as my date. You look very handsome Cullen.”

He smiled brightly at her, seemingly finding confidence in her words, and again Evie felt her heart jump. _So much for coming as friends_. Already she found herself wondering what it would feel like to have those strong, muscular arms wrapped around her, his lips against hers, his calloused hands wandering her body...She shook her head, ridding herself of such thoughts.

“Would you care for a drink?” Cullen asked.

“Yes please,” Evie replied, taking Cullen’s arm when he offered it.

He steered her through the sea of people towards the drinks table. He handed her a glass of wine, taking another for himself. Evie swore she heard him muttering to himself that he’d probably need it to survive the evening. Again, taking his arm, Evie allowed Cullen to lead her to some chairs in the corner of the room and took a seat, Cullen beside her. She took a sip of her drink, relaxing at the familiar warmth as it ran down her throat and into her stomach. She had not seen any of the others as of yet, though was quite content with the company of the man beside her. Though he had been rather silent, she’d noticed and hazzard a glance at him. He was fiddling with his sash, but upon noticing her gaze, looked up and smiled unsurely at her, still saying nothing. Clearly it was up to Evie to provide a topic.

“It looked kind of fun,” Evie nodded her head towards the couples dancing across the floor, “I mean, would you like to?”

“I’m sorry but I don’t dance,” Cullen replied softly.

“Oh,” Evie tried desperately to hide her disappointment, though they had come as friends, she had at least expected a dance, “Of course, suppose you never got the chance as a templar huh?”

Cullen nodded, “Thank the Maker, I don’t think I’d make a very good dancer.”  
“Oh I don’t know, you’re pretty coordinated on the battlefield,” She shrugged, moving her foot up and down in boredom, “Are we just going to sit and watch then?”

“No,” He said surprising her, “I was going to suggest we could go for a walk around Skyhold, the battlements have a rather magical view of the nights’ sky at the moment whilst it is clear.”

“That sounds lovely Cullen, I-”  
“Evelyn?”

The Inquisitor stood before her, a charming grin on his face, surrounded by a gaggle of adoring nobles.

“Yes?”  
“I couldn’t help but overhear you wanted to dance, and since our Commander has declined, I was wondering if you would do me the honour of joining me for a dance,” Kristoff asked charmingly, bowing down, his hand held out.

Evie glanced peripherally at Cullen, his jaw clenched though the rest of his face was stoic. Her eyebrows pinched together in the middle,  _what was his problem?_   She got to her feet, placed her nearly empty glass on the table, and placed her hand in the Inquisitor’s, “It would be my pleasure,” Evie replied sweetly before glancing over her shoulder, “You don’t mind do you Cullen?”

“I--No of course not.” He turned to Kristoff, his eyebrows pulled together in the smallest of frowns, “Take care of her, Inquisitor.”

Evie rolled her eyes yet Kristoff grinned, winking at Cullen, “Don’t worry Commander, I’ll have her back before midnight.”  
With a small, delicate smile to Cullen, Evie followed her dance partner to the center of the hall. Kristoff gracefully spun Evie into him, placing a firm hand upon her waist, taking her hand in his.

“I see Josephine’s been making you practice too.”

“I’ll have you know I am a rather accomplished dancer,” Evie raised one eyebrow pointedly, as she settled into the dance, being led around the dancefloor by Kristoff, “Okay, okay. I have been practicing. Better?”

Evie nodded, smirking, “Much.”

“I hope you realise that Cullen’s eyes have not left you once,” Kristoff said quietly, wary of any nobles listening in. His eyes flickered over to where Cullen was sat, over Evie’s shoulder and she slowly turned her head. Cullen’s eyes widened, realising he had been caught and quickly looked down at the ground.

“Leave him be,” Evie chastised Kristoff, despite unable to control her own giggles.

“Are you going to tell him?”

Evie flushed, and decided feigning innocence was the best approach, “Tell him what?”  
“Don’t play coy, Evie,” Kristoff laughed, dipping her in time with the music, eliciting applause from the crowd. “You think I wouldn’t notice,” He snorted, “But you’d have to be pretty blind not to.”

Evie scowled at him, though she knew it was probably true; she’d always been rather painfully obvious without even meaning to be.

“He returns your feelings, don’t worry.”

“And how would you know?” Evie asked.

“Please, he’s more obvious than you. He’s always glancing over at you when he thinks you’re not looking, smiling to himself, smiling at you. Maker, the man actually has a sense of humour when you’re around, and I have never seen him take a break from work unless it’s to see you.”

Evie had seen his glances, his smiles, but had written them off as her reading more into it, wanting to believe it was true. “Then maybe I shall tell him. After a few more glass of wine,” She added sheepishly.

An hour or so, and several dances, and three glasses of wine, later, Evie had decided Balls were not as fun as she previously thought. Well, no, that was wrong. She did enjoy the ball, and the dancing very much, particularly with her friends. It was some of the Inquisition’s guests which left an unpleasant taste in her mouth. She had heard more gossip that night from the Orlesians than she had heard her entire life. They were like vultures, a pack of wolves waiting to pounce.

“Oh Andraste’s tits, please hand me some more wine, Dorian. You know, for once I am glad I am a mage, so I didn’t have to be subjected to this horror growing up.”

“Oh I don’t know, it has it’s appeals,” Dorian remarked, nudging Evie lightly with his shoulder and nodding over to where the Commander and the Inquisitor stood. Evie felt her cheeks warm as she took in the dashing Commander. He did look unbelievably handsome in the Inquisition’s formal attire.

“Have you told him yet?” _Funny_ , Evie thought, _this seems rather like deja vu._

“Pardon?”  
Dorian smirked wickedly, “Don’t play coy with me, Evelyn. You should watch out if you don’t scoop him up soon, one of those nobles will.”

He was referring to the group of women, and men, who had appeared to take a liking to the Commander, and had been following his movements all night. It sparked that jealous feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she decided she did need to tell him tonight, or run the risk of going insane from not knowing his feelings.

“Kristoff told me much the same,” Evie admitted.

“Well they do say great minds think alike,” Dorian replied, “If he has already told you, then I will perhaps spare you the lecture then. But, I encourage you to make your move soon.”

Evie nodded, passing Dorian her glass and picked up her skirts, heading over to the Commander. She pushed her way through the nobles surrounding him, ignoring their glares and whispers, and addressed a rather dishevelled Cullen.

“Did you still wish to go for that walk, Cullen?”

“Maker, yes,” He groaned, and Evie stifled a giggle, “Please take me away from all these nobles before I say something I regret.”  
“There is something I wished to tell you actually,” Evie cursed her inebriated self, and Kristoff and Dorian. What in Thedas had possessed her to say that? They had put ideas in her head! “But perhaps it can wait until we are on the Battlements.”

“Of course, my lady,” He inclined his head, in what looked to outsiders to be polite agreement, but he used it as opportunity to whisper, “Let’s just get out of here.”  
She grinned as he pulled away but said nothing as they excused themselves, making their way to the Battlements through Solas’ room. Curiously, Evie had not seen the elf all night, neither was he in his study. She wondered if he had disappeared altogether to avoid the Ball. They stepped out into the cool night air and Evie shivered, her dress providing little against the cold. Ever the gentleman, Cullen had removed his jack in a flash, leaving him in a plain white shirt, and wrapped it around Evie’s shoulders before she could protest.

“Thank you,” She said, deciding it wouldn’t prove fruitful to try and return his jacket. Cullen was too stubborn.

They made their way across the bridge and through his office.

“I do wish you could’ve at least given me one dance Cullen,” Evie teased, as they exited Cullen’s office.

“You seemed to enjoy dancing with the Inquisitor just fine,” He snapped uncharacteristically.

Evie frowned at first before realisation dawned upon her. “Wait, you’re jealous?!” She roared with laughter.

“I don’t see why this is amusing,” He grumbled.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Evie apologised, even though tears of laughter were running down her cheeks, “I just...you thought me and Kristoff…”

“Is that so ridiculous? You spend a lot of time together. You seem so close,” Cullen defended himself.

“I’m not his type.”

“But...you..you’re...I mean, you’re everyone's type.”

“Thank you Cullen,” She gave a tinkling laugh, though a slight blush tinged her cheeks. Her heart set a flutter at his words. “But trust me, he’d be more likely to try and bed you than me.”

“I...Oh!”

“In fact I suspect he may have a thing for our Tevinter ally.”  
“Dorian?”  
“Mhmm.”

Though they were more than suspicions now. She had seen them the other night, it was late when she had finished reading the book on the Magisterium Dorian had given her but she knew the mage would still be awake. So she headed over to his library only to see Dorian and Kristoff locked at the lips. She would never tell anyone other than Cullen what she saw however. For she knew some would not be accepting. Not of the fact Dorian was a man, or even a mage, but he was from Tevinter, and she knew there were rumours already of Dorian’s intentions in the Inquisition.

With the matter of hers and the Inquisitor’s relationship sorted, they had settled into an, in Evelyn’s opinion, uncomfortable silence. The sound of their footfalls against the stone and the sounds of the Ball from the Keep entrance serving as the only noise against the silence.

“Shall we take seat?” Evie suggested, “The sky is, as you said, most lovely tonight.”

He nodded, still remaining quiet and they both sat down upon the wall, looking out over Skyhold’s courtyard.

“It’s a umm...nice evening,” Cullen finally blurted out after several minutes.

“What?”  
“I--You said earlier there was something you wished to discuss?”

She cursed herself, though she blamed the alcohol mostly, and made a mental note to kill Dorian for plying her with too much wine.

“Yes. I don’t quite know how to say this...you left the Templars, but do you trust mages? Could you ever trust me again?” She held up a hand to silence him, for she knew he was only going to deny it, “I mean this Cullen, truly in your heart of hearts do you trust me?” She looked up at him, to see he too was looking at her intently, “I...I confess I’ve found myself thinking of you more than...well, all the time really. Yet I can’t help but wonder if your past, our past, might influence your feelings for me, if there are any at all,” She breathed deeply to calm her nerves, her eyes now firmly locked onto her hands, “Could you ever think of me as something more?”

“I could,” Evelyn’s eyes snapped up to his, golden swirls gazing caringly at her, “I mean, I do.” He sighed, though his eyes never left hers, “I thought...after everything, you could never care for me. A Templar-”

“Ex-templar,” Evie corrected with a smile.

“Ex-templar,” Cullen agreed, returning her smile, “Still, I thought it, too, might influence your feelings. After everything that’s happened to you,” He lay his hand upon hers gently, sending a tingling warmth through her body, “I dare say I could not blame you.”  
Evie was glowing with happiness, a content smile on her face. She was on cloud nine, even in all her dreams, all her thoughts of him, she had never imagined it to be this perfect. It took everything in her not to become a nervous mess as she replied, “And yet, I’m still here.”  
“So you are,” His voice had dropped, becoming deep and husky as he leaned in closer and Evie’s breath hitched, “It seems too much to ask.” Evie could feel his breath on her face, take in his scent, and feel the warmth emanating from him. “But I want to.” His lips were practically on hers, her eyes, and his closing as her heart hammered loudly in her chest. So loudly she was sure the entirety of Skyhold could hear it.

“Commander!”

The pair halted, Cullen’s shoulders dropping in disappointment before Evie jumped, instantly putting several inches between them upon the wall. She looked over to see one of the Inquisition’s messengers approaching, seemingly unaware of what he had just disturbed. Even still, a blush rose to her cheeks as she pointedly looked away from the man and Cullen, feeling utterly embarrassed.

“What?!” She cringed at Cullen’s harsh tone, practically hearing the glare in his voice.

“There’s been a...disruption with a few of the nobles. Sister Leliana sent me, she requires your assistance in the matter.”

“Ugh, Maker fine,” Cullen grumbled grouchily, and she heard him getting to his feet. His voice immediately returned to it’s soft and gentle tone, “Evelyn?”

Evie reluctantly turned to look at the pair, and she inwardly groaned as she saw the realisation dawning on the messenger’s face, now realising just what he had interrupted. Yet, she couldn’t help but melt at the sight of Cullen, his eyes desperately searching hers as he held out his hand for her, “Perhaps, we could continue this tomorrow? I’m afraid I have to-”  
“It’s okay,” She took his hand and he helped her to her feet, “Tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow,” He agreed with a smirk before bending down and pressing his lips to her hand, his lips lingering for just a second or two longer than customary, leaving her heart aflutter. “My lady.”

She watched the pair hurrying off to take care of whatever ‘disruption’ the nobles had caused, a growing wave of happiness spreading through her as she watched his golden blonde head retreating into the Keep. She pressed her hand to her lips, wondering just exactly how it would feel to have his lips against them. She walked the battlements a little longer, just admiring how beautiful the stars seemed that night, shining brightly upon the black ink sky.

Eventually, she wandered back into the Main Hall. It was apparent Cullen and the others had managed to resolve the problem for everyone seemed to be dancing and chatting amicably, perhaps a little more merrily in some cases. She spotted Bull in the corner, a woman beside him with flaming red hair, listening intently to whatever it was the Qunari was telling her. Probably some impressive story from his time with the Chargers. He had been Giantbaiting after all. Sera was nowhere to be seen, though that was hardly surprising. Vivienne and Kristoff were surrounded again by nobles, the former looking especially pleased. Josephine and Leliana were overseeing the ball from the Inquisitor’s throne, though Evelyn was disappointed to see Cullen was not among them. She was however, rather amused to see Blackwall had joined them, standing by Josephine’s side, though she saw his glances towards the Ambassador. The look of longing in his eyes made her smile. Her thoughts returning to Cullen, she wondered just what tomorrow would bring and she dared to hope that he might try to kiss her again. He had said he’d cared for had he not? She wondered what this meant for them, all she knew was that with each passing day she cared for him more and more. She was falling for him. And hard.

“I see you and the Commander have now both returned from your stroll in the moonlight.”

“Dorian…” Evie groaned, her blissful attitude vanishing, annoyance taking it’s place.

“Do tell, then. How was he?” Dorian teased.

Evie’s face flushed and she smacked the mage’s shoulder, “Void take you! You are impossible.”

“Calm down Evelyn, you know I’m only joking. The Commander is too prim and proper for anything of that sort to happen.” Though the smirk remained on his face.

“Please leave myself and Cullen alone. If you’re capable,” She said, repeating the words she had heard him utter to Kristoff days before. She grinned victoriously, as the smirk dropped from his face. He probably thought they had been discreet, that no one knew. She did not allow him a retort, instead walking over to Leliana, Josephine and Blackwall, leaving Dorian stood dumbfounded.

“How are you finding the ball, Evelyn?” Josephine inquired upon her approach.

“Wonderful,” Evie replied genuinely, though still smug from her conversation with Dorian, “It’s just brilliant Josephine. You’ve done a marvelous job.”

The Ambassador beamed, pleased her efforts were appreciated.

“And how is the Commander?” Leliana asked, her question laced with implication.

Of course Leliana would know, she knew everything that happened in Skyhold. She was saved from replying by Dorian, who had apparently got over his shock.

“Evelyn my dear, perhaps we could have a word?”

Evie tried to remain stoic in her reply, though inside she was very much enjoying seeing Dorian squirm for a change, “Of course Dorian. What do you need?”

He indicated for her to follow and led her up some stairs to a secluded part of the Keep.

“You ought to be careful Dorian, people might think there’s something between us,” Evie teased, her smile unusually evil.

Dorian rolled his eyes, groaning at her attempt at humor, “Evelyn dearest, this evil version of you is not very becoming. But that is besides the point. I...The Inquisitor…” For once Dorian was fumbling his words, truly nervous.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Evie quickly said, sparing Dorian any further embarrassment, “I would never do that. If you didn’t want me to.” Relief flood to Dorian’s face, “Are you...I mean, is it anything serious?”  
“We are both happy if that is what you are asking,” Dorian replied curtly, clearly signalling this conversation was not a topic he wished to discuss.

Evie smiled sheepishly, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. But you can be assured I won’t tell a soul. Though you may want to tell Cole not to tell anyone, I heard him murmuring the other day about you two, and sometimes what he constitutes as help isn’t always so.”

“An excellent point. I shall go see him now,” He turned to leave, but looked back at her, “And Evie, thank you.”  
“No problem. Kristoff deserves any bit of happiness he can get, as do you.”

Dorian faltered slightly before a gentle smile grew on his face, “I will say this once, and only once, you truly are a wonderful person, Evelyn. Now I am going to leave before anything more soppy comes out of my mouth.”  
“Perish the thought!” Evie called after him, laughing.

She headed back for the Ballroom, a large, bright smile on her face, and was relieved to find Varric stood by the door.

“You look remarkably happy with yourself, Evie,” Varric commented, upon her approach. “I take it you enjoyed the evening.”

Her eyes immediately locked onto Cullen’s from across the room, the crowds melting away, his was the only face she saw. He noticed her gaze and gave her one of those heart stopping, breath taking smiles that sent her dizzy. Tomorrow could not come fast enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see I kept parts of the original gameplay romance scene but twisted it a little to fit with my story so hope you enjoyed it! :) Thank you for reading :)


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